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Thread: Intimacy issues - not his fault

  1. #121
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    Originally Posted by abitbroken
    Actually, i go by inches. Because you can initially gain weight if you have not been drinking enough water and now are, and your body is retaining it, or you could end up only dropping 10 lbs but your body "reconfigured" and now you are more muscular with more of a waist. I measure my waist, hips, etc. and don't measure daily because you will drive yourself nuts - but however you want to - weekly, etc. I do about every two weeks.
    That's all fine... but even without measurable changes in your physical weight, size, shape etc; eating better and exercising more is still making you healthier. It's good for your heart, your brain, your energy levels, keeping away aches and pains, etc. That's not to take away from also trying to lose weight, but these are the more important reasons to live healthy.

  2. #122
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    Originally Posted by saluk
    That's all fine... but even without measurable changes in your physical weight, size, shape etc; eating better and exercising more is still making you healthier. It's good for your heart, your brain, your energy levels, keeping away aches and pains, etc. That's not to take away from also trying to lose weight, but these are the more important reasons to live healthy.
    When you are morbidly obese like the OP's boyfriend, there is no way one is healthy at that weight. If someone is one of those rare beings that is extremely healthy being morbidly obese, its only a matter of time that pre-diabetes or diabetes, heart issues, joint issues, rear their head. Sometimes its discouraging that the scale doesn't move much despite eating healthy and exercises, so inches often tell the real story. there are other changes in "getting healthier " that aren't really measureable - a couple inches off are far more easily measured vs , say, your cholestoral, because all though its important, you cannot measure it yourself every week and really they say that's too often. I only lost 5-8 lbs, (i am sure i actually lost more mass, but also gained water weight) but my clothing fit a lot better because my body "redistributed itself. " I did not drop a pant size, but my pants fit better, people said i looked healthier, etc,) People are motivated by things they can benchmark.

    For me, i have a smaller frame so a 5-10 lbs difference in weight loss looks comparable to someone who has a medium frame and dropped 20 lbs. Its noticeable.

    I know all those changes are important, but the aches and pains don't go away for someone who is obese unless they do lose at least a little. So its all hand in hand - losing weight is not mutually exclusive of "getting healthier" and feeling good.

  3. #123
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by WithLove
    He has used the treadmill every day since we got it. Today I leaned down to give him a hug on the couch and he pulled me over his lap to straddle him to kiss me. I don't think he's ever done that in the over 2 years we've been together, so that kind of gave me some good feelings!
    Woohoo!!

    Exercise is sooo good for the confidence and libido!

  4. #124
    Platinum Member WithLove's Avatar
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    I joined Weight Watchers on Thursday. I've kept on it pretty strictly since I joined. I'm really crabby and easily annoyed due to the reduced sugar and carb intake, but I'm hoping that will adjust soon. Bf also joined, because what I noticed is that it's a great way to decrease portion sizes. Things that are zero points will eventually cost points when you eat too much of them, so you have to limit your portions, and that's his biggest issue. He's only been on it a day, so I'm not sure how he's feeling yet, but I know the decreased carbs will hit him hard.

    I'll report back in a few days.

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  6. #125
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    Originally Posted by WithLove
    I joined Weight Watchers on Thursday. I've kept on it pretty strictly since I joined. I'm really crabby and easily annoyed due to the reduced sugar and carb intake, but I'm hoping that will adjust soon. Bf also joined, because what I noticed is that it's a great way to decrease portion sizes. Things that are zero points will eventually cost points when you eat too much of them, so you have to limit your portions, and that's his biggest issue. He's only been on it a day, so I'm not sure how he's feeling yet, but I know the decreased carbs will hit him hard.

    I'll report back in a few days.
    I've heard wonderful things about WW over the years. Good luck!

  7. #126
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    A friend of mine just 40 lbs on WW.

  8. #127
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    It's day 7 on WW and I can feel that I'm slightly less bloated and that my pants are fitting a little differently. The scale has fluctuated between the same 5 lbs, but I expect it'll go down in the next week or so.

  9. #128
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    So I used to weigh every day. For many years. It stressed me out and it really wasn't that helpful because -well, we're women for one thing so our cycles can throw us off. Anyway, while I was pregnant I didn't care a bit what I weighed plus I was getting weighed all the time at the doctor appointments. I was 41-42. After I gave birth I stopped weighing myself. It's very freeing. I do get weighed annually for my physical (I ask not to be weighed at other appointments, or I do not look). But it forces me to focus on how I feel - love that you are less bloated -that's a great feeling - and how my clothes fit etc without focusing on the number. Certainly if I had to for health reasons I would. But I found it of limited use and made me stressed/anxious. Just sharing and keep up your awesome work and commitment to yourself!

  10. #129
    Platinum Member WithLove's Avatar
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    Day 11. I've lost 5 lbs, don't know how much he has lost. We attempted intimacy on Saturday night, but ultimately it wasn't successful. Sigh. I know he's so frustrated. I hope losing weight will start to work for him.

  11. #130
    Platinum Member WithLove's Avatar
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    Just shy of one month on WW. I've lost 8 lbs, he has lost I think about 5. He's unhappy with his results so far, maybe expecting that he'd have lost more, but I told him to be patient. No update to intimacy frequency or quality, although he had an appt with his urologist last week, and his numbers are looking really good. They've improved since the last visit (he goes every 3 months).

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