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Thread: Intimacy issues - not his fault

  1. #91
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    Originally Posted by WithLove
    I agree with you and that's the main reason I didn't want to turn to Viagra. I really do think that a lot of his health issues (including this one) will resolve themselves or at least significantly improve once he loses weight. We talked about it today and he asked me (because I have more active friends) to ask around to see if anyone was selling exercise equipment, because he wants to get a treadmill, weight bench and heavier weights. He loved lifting when he was younger. He also wants to go out walking, but we live in a state where it rains literally every day (at least this time of the year) and we simply can't plan walks outside each day. But he did tell me today that they are remodeling the gym at his work, and he walked over today to check it out to see what they are doing (it isn't reopened yet) and that it looks awesome and he can't wait. So, that's definitely an improvement.

    I also asked him to sit down with me this weekend to meal plan for the upcoming week. We are going to the grocery store tomorrow to stock up on what we need, specifically, things to make healthy protein shakes/smoothies to take to work in the morning. We have a really good blender and he got it out of storage and washed it tonight.

    And, he told me to put some time aside to be intimate this weekend. Teehee!
    This all sounds great! I also suggest you go through the cabinets and fridge and get rid of all the garbage.

    You can also walk in malls when it rains. It rains daily where I live. I must walk everyday, and so I take an umbrella. No excuse not to walk.

  2. #92
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry this is happening. If things aren't working, make sure you consider a second opinion, especially if you feel quack treatments like b-12 shots and whatever this electric chair gizmo is are being offered.

    How is his overall health? Does he see a regular doctor who is aware of all his health problems and medications? At 35 and overweight, short of breath, etc it seems irresponsible to not have a full cardiovascular workup before prescribing Viagra and treatment with exogenous testosterone shots. Anyone who is overweight will have a higher testosterone to estrogen conversion rate because that is all stored in the adipose tissues.

    Make sure he is going to board certified hospital affiliated doctors and perhaps start with his general health and whatever medications he is on and whatever general health problems he has.
    Originally Posted by WithLove
    he has chronic lung issues (every time he gets even a sniffle, it turns to bronchitis). He is on meds for this, in addition to other things. So his health really has deteriorated since he hit 30

  3. #93
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    This all sounds great! I also suggest you go through the cabinets and fridge and get rid of all the garbage.

    You can also walk in malls when it rains. It rains daily where I live. I must walk everyday, and so I take an umbrella. No excuse not to walk.
    Yes, I walk every day too a lot in all kinds of weather - thunderstorms, snow, rain (including power walking when I can't get on a treadmill)-and be careful about the "when I find the right equipment" -here is the equipment he needs for now: comfortable clothing, good sneakers (I do Brooks cascadia if that helps and I happen to like under armour brand exercise clothing but anything will do), an umbrella and a water bottle filled with tap water. Have the clothing ready to go -preferably in the morning. Keep it simple to avoid indulging in excuses. If he can get to a gym, great. But that's not the priority -the priority is daily cardio or if not daily at least 5-6 times a week for at least 30 minutes where his heart gets a workout as does he. Then when he gets into a routine he can look into gym/treadmills/weights. I mean, we took our son to Disney for the first time last month and I didn't want to miss my daily power walk. You try doing that in a Disney park. So I took a short boat ride to some campgrounds. That's the level of commitment he needs -commitment to doing it daily, not commitment to "I'm going to buy exercise equipment". That's stalling. He can start today.

  4. #94
    Forum Supporter Jibralta's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    Yes, I walk every day too a lot in all kinds of weather - thunderstorms, snow, rain (including power walking when I can't get on a treadmill)-and be careful about the "when I find the right equipment" -here is the equipment he needs for now: comfortable clothing, good sneakers (I do Brooks cascadia if that helps and I happen to like under armour brand exercise clothing but anything will do), an umbrella and a water bottle filled with tap water. Have the clothing ready to go -preferably in the morning. Keep it simple to avoid indulging in excuses. If he can get to a gym, great. But that's not the priority -the priority is daily cardio or if not daily at least 5-6 times a week for at least 30 minutes where his heart gets a workout as does he. Then when he gets into a routine he can look into gym/treadmills/weights. I mean, we took our son to Disney for the first time last month and I didn't want to miss my daily power walk. You try doing that in a Disney park. So I took a short boat ride to some campgrounds. That's the level of commitment he needs -commitment to doing it daily, not commitment to "I'm going to buy exercise equipment". That's stalling. He can start today.
    Or if 30 minutes @ 5 - 6 times per week is too overwhelming, do 10 minutes per day.

    Or, if the 5 - 6 times per week is too much of a commitment, carve out 30 minutes once per week and go from there.

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  6. #95
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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    Yes, I walk every day too a lot in all kinds of weather - thunderstorms, snow, rain (including power walking when I can't get on a treadmill)-and be careful about the "when I find the right equipment" -here is the equipment he needs for now: comfortable clothing, good sneakers (I do Brooks cascadia if that helps and I happen to like under armour brand exercise clothing but anything will do), an umbrella and a water bottle filled with tap water. Have the clothing ready to go -preferably in the morning. Keep it simple to avoid indulging in excuses. If he can get to a gym, great. But that's not the priority -the priority is daily cardio or if not daily at least 5-6 times a week for at least 30 minutes where his heart gets a workout as does he. Then when he gets into a routine he can look into gym/treadmills/weights. I mean, we took our son to Disney for the first time last month and I didn't want to miss my daily power walk. You try doing that in a Disney park. So I took a short boat ride to some campgrounds. That's the level of commitment he needs -commitment to doing it daily, not commitment to "I'm going to buy exercise equipment". That's stalling. He can start today.
    Totally agree.... A lot of excuses from both of them .

    OP, do something now. You both sound incredibly unhealthy and you are only in your 30's. I am 55 and work out 5 days a week with walking and a stationary bike. There is no excuse-not even the weather- to sit on your azz and do nothing.

  7. #96
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    I love walking in rain.

  8. #97
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    Yes, I walk every day too a lot in all kinds of weather - thunderstorms, snow, rain (including power walking when I can't get on a treadmill)-and be careful about the "when I find the right equipment" -here is the equipment he needs for now: comfortable clothing, good sneakers (I do Brooks cascadia if that helps and I happen to like under armour brand exercise clothing but anything will do), an umbrella and a water bottle filled with tap water. Have the clothing ready to go -preferably in the morning. Keep it simple to avoid indulging in excuses. If he can get to a gym, great. But that's not the priority -the priority is daily cardio or if not daily at least 5-6 times a week for at least 30 minutes where his heart gets a workout as does he. Then when he gets into a routine he can look into gym/treadmills/weights. I mean, we took our son to Disney for the first time last month and I didn't want to miss my daily power walk. You try doing that in a Disney park. So I took a short boat ride to some campgrounds. That's the level of commitment he needs -commitment to doing it daily, not commitment to "I'm going to buy exercise equipment". That's stalling. He can start today.
    I agree with this, tons of stalling and excuse making and some placating thrown in for good measure.... heís good.

  9. #98
    Platinum Member WithLove's Avatar
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    Lol - guys, he's not stalling. Neither of us are. Please read all of my replies. I am very active myself. He is not, but he does want to be. This morning he went for a walk in our neighborhood while I was working on classwork. He'd just rather prefer to work out here at home, because he's a homebody at heart. But he isn't waiting until we have all the "right equipment", as he has proven today.

  10. #99
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    Originally Posted by WithLove
    Lol - guys, he's not stalling. Neither of us are. Please read all of my replies. I am very active myself. He is not, but he does want to be. This morning he went for a walk in our neighborhood while I was working on classwork. He'd just rather prefer to work out here at home, because he's a homebody at heart. But he isn't waiting until we have all the "right equipment", as he has proven today.
    Want has to translate into action - there is a great walk at home DVD -Leslie Sansome -that comes with an excercise band for resistance training.
    We all prefer certain things and then we balance the preferences against our values and priorities. I have to do that regularly with exercise because I don't always get to exercise in the way in which I would prefer. But I do it because doing it is my priority.

  11. #100
    Platinum Member WithLove's Avatar
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    Three nights of healthy meals (with leftovers to take to work the next day) and 2 nights of going for walks around our block. He's trying, and so am I.

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