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Thread: My bf write songs about his ex that he loved very much!

  1. #1
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    My bf write songs about his ex that he loved very much!

    last year my bf started to write a song of How i make him feel, a lot of desire, and he was very entusiastic about the lyrics! But in the middle of nowhere he started writing a new song, a song about ”How he was Missing her so bad, he was loosing sleep, all he wished for was to hold her Soo tight, all the night, and were asking the stars if she was thinking of him too! (They were in a distance relationship, she left him five years ago and he was devistated, he rock bottom.) Month before he wrote this song he sent her birthday wishes on mail. She wrote him once in a while but the year of 2017 she didnt and he wondered why. He sent her emails wondering what happend with her. So, i dont think he got over her. Why write such a sad song when you are supposed to be ”Happy” in your new relationship? He Said that this song wasnt about her, and that he got inspired by an another song like this one... but he denies everything.., so i cant really get a mature answer from him. About 6 months ago, weve had a conversation about his ex of 10 years ago... she also left him for an another man and he was devistated. I told him that she still loves him ( she does), and he went on her fb and liked a qoute. Then he wrote a song: ” i know i didnt treat you right back then, but now Im older, Ive learned from my mistakes, and i thought weve had lost it all but when i look in to your eyes i see that its not over. Give me a chance to show you Im a better man now, i wont let you down, lets overcome the distance that divided us, do you believe in second chances? Can we reunite?”......these two women was his greatest love. The last one most. How am i suppose to look at this?

  2. #2
    Gold Member LikeWater's Avatar
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    These lyrics would make me very uncomfortable and I would feel like my S/O's focus isn't on me and the here and now, but instead on others in the past where I don't exist in their life. These types of BU songs would generally be written while the person is still healing and single, not when they have someone to love right in front of them

    I don't like it. How does it make you feel, OP?

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    You look at nothing. Why in the world are you still with him? He is in love with another woman!

    Show yourself some respect and end it. You are a placeholder.

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    Platinum Member Carus's Avatar
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    Everybody has a past. Musicians write songs about a lot of things....I know coz I am one....

    But the past is the past....He is choosing to be with you in the here and now right....?

    Carus*

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    I'm with Carus here—or at least until I hear more about this relationship.

    I'm not a musician, but I do work in a creative field that often has me making material from my past, including past loves. Doesn't mean I'm hung up on them or still in love or stuck in the past at the expense of my present.

    A lot of what I create could be considered "sad" or "brooding," but in my day to day I'm pretty upbeat—in no small part because I can purge those thoughts and feelings creatively and—bonus!—pay my rent and take my gf to dinner with the paychecks. I've certainly written my share of sad songs—or my version—while very happy in a relationship. Working on something like that now, in fact, which will take me another year to finish. My gf knows this has nothing to do with her, but something I do, for me. Helps that she has her own version, of course.

    Anyhow, I guess my question is: Are these songs really the issue, or have you had the feeling for a bit that he's not present with you, not as into things as you are, still hung up on the past, whatever?

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    Well we do have a serious problem, im 42 and he is 39, i have 3 children and he has none, i cant have more children, he wants children, thats MY issue. But, he never want to talk about the future, he says he loves me, and gets really torn down when I try to leave him. He wants my love, because its the first time in his life he feels that someone loves him for real and No matter What. But, he NEVER does anything for me, like birthday gifts, suprises, never does anything for me that he didnt do to someone else. We’ve Been together for over two years. He resently Said that he has never given a woman 100%, just 60%... niether does he give me more. And also resently he Said that he is regretting that he didnt marry the ex ( the One 10 years ago). He doesnt wants to commit because of the issue about the children, but doesnt want to let me go.... he always says he loves me, he does love me. But not in a way that makes me feel wanted, special, nr 1. He loves me because of everything i do for him. The last ex left him, also for an another man, but he loved her so much that he still stayed in touch with her through all years. Until now he finds it hard to talk about her. Once i asked him How much he loved me on a scale 1-10, he Said 9 because you cant love someone 10. But once he talked about her and Said he loved her 10! He didnt Said that to hurt me but it slipped out of his mouth.

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    It makes me feel very sad.. because i feel like i have to beg for his love all the time. I feel like Im not THE One! But when i ask he says that Im crazy... that its just lyrics for a song. So now i have written a song about an ex that i loved very deeply, and he knows about it, and you cant miss it in the text ( i write lyrics to songs), and going to give him that and se if he Will react! If he wont then maybe it is the way as he says, that it just lyrics, but if he DO react.... and get hurt about the lyrics... would that be an answer to my question that he do express himself throug lyrics? What do you all tkink?

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    I guess Im with him cause i love him and that he says that he is over the ex...( dont feel it in my heart),...

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    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It sounds like you two are very incompatible on many levels and he doesn't see a future with you. It may be best to leave this day-dreamer who is so busy living in the past that he can't meet your relationship needs. Reflect on yourself and your children and what you want for yourself and them .

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    Carus, well.... he didnt have an option, the ex left him... Im more than 1000% that if HE had an option then he would choose her. Our story is a little complicated, he never ever would have imagine beeing in such a relationship, he was looking for women in the ages of 18-25... No children etc... but he got in love with me because of How much i gave him... its not a choice... he havent yet decided if he wants to commit himself with me..Im still waiting....he wants me by his side until he knows if he wants to be with me...

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