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Thread: twitter- is this normal/acceptable?

  1. #1
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    twitter- is this normal/acceptable?

    Me and my boyfriend have been disagreeing on a topic that I wanted to get an outside prospective on.

    Is is normal for people in a long term committed relationship to be interacting via twitter with random people of the opposite sex?

    My boyfriend keeps on commenting back and forth with random girls on twitter and retweeting their photos. I have been finding this uncomfortable and have expressed this to him. To which he responded, "I am not doing anything wrong, this is the whole purpose of twitter, to interact with random people".

    If these girls were his friends through university or work or elsewhere, I would not have a problem. I however, don't seem to comprehend why he believe it is okay to be interacting with random girls over social media like this.

    Please be as brutally honest as possible, if I just need a reality check. Thank you :)

  2. #2
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    I don't find it normal and acceptable. Every person will have their own views on this. The real problem here is that he isn't taking your feelings into consideration.

  3. #3
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    Nope, not cool at all.

    Especially since you've expressed your feelings to him.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    I've never used Twitter, but from what I understand it is a place where random people interact.

    I tweet something about global warming, say, and a random person tweets back and we get into some Twitter-y back and forth.

    That said, I wonder what kind of content your bf is engaging in with these randoms. If it's just nonsense, or if it's thirst trap stuff—well, then I'd say you have a bf who likes using social media to court attention from the opposite sex.

    Which is to say that issue isn't really the ethics of Twitter but the boundaries of what your bf feels should be acceptable inside a relationship.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Seems unnecessary but I usually think a lot of things are unnecessary. Do you know why he does it? It might be a habit or an ego boost. Also now that you know he has these interactions and 'friends' and you have processed how it makes you feel, what are you going to do about it?

    If I knew about those interactions in a partner it would be over. Just not my cup of tea. You have to know yourself.

  7. #6
    Bronze Member Afireblue's Avatar
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    Everyone has their own boundaries

    I think it depends on the content of the tweets

    can you give us a couple of examples?

  8. #7
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    Not sure if anyone watched this, but last Friday, there was a documentary hosted by Diane Sawyer investigating how relationships, marriages, families including our children, are negatively impacted by the enormous amount of social media activity happening in today's society.

    I was appalled! And not a whole hell of a lot appalls me typically.

    Couples on line, texting, tweeting, instagramming, FBing (big one) while having dinner together, taking a stroll w their partner, interacting with their children! Etc etc etc.

    One husband said his 18 year marriage is suffering big time, due to his wife having 1800 followers (random people) on Instagram, and no time for their marriage or children.

    This was typical according to this documentary.

    DS spoke with the kids who said they feel neglected and constantly vying for their mom's and/or dad's attention. Something, a small scrap, something!

    Couples who admitted to having their relationships collapse due to one or both's social media activity.

    Until watching this docu, I thought over-use might be limited to a limited amount of couples, those who post here, but it's becoming an epidemic, it's destroying relationships, marriages, families..

    No imo what your bf is doing is not okay or appropriate when in a committed relationship. And if he wants your relationship to succeed, he needs to acknowledge this and take steps to end his addiction to it.

    Which is what it is imo, an addiction.

    Frankly I am beginning to wonder if anyone even knows how to be in close, intimate committed relationship anymore. What it means.

    It seems many couples are more attached to their phones than to each other, or even their kids!

    Sorry for the rant, social media is simply out of control, and I find that truly sad.

    Watch the docu if you can, I'm not even exaggerrating.
    Last edited by katrina1980; 05-08-2019 at 03:33 PM.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Oh, wait a second...

    This is, I'm assuming, the model boyfriend who cheated on you in 2013? And who, before cheating, was in the understandably frustrating habit of following and liking "random girls" in order to "grow his page?" The same boyfriend who frustrated you when he popped up on Instagram next to a girl in bra?

    In other words, what Twitter represents today is basically an extension of the relationship you've been in for six years now?

    If so, this Twitter conversation is a moot point to avoid the real point, which I think is that you've spent six years in a relationship that doesn't work for you. If you want to use our comments about Twitter to extend that drama and stay in the delusion, that's cool, but I'll be respectfully bowing out of this one.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by katrina1980
    Not sure if anyone watched this, but last Friday, there was a special on the tele -- Diane Sawyer investigated how relationships, marriages, families including our children, are negatively impacted by the enormous amount of social media activity happening in today's society.
    I was going to watch it but then I saw that my gf tweeted about it and we spent the weekend fighting about Twitter.

    (Sorry, had to...)

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Thanks for sharing that, Katrina. I think the career youtubers are very interesting especially when they're couples (reality tv type channels).

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