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Thread: rape? assault? nothing?? feeling sick

  1. #11
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    ok guys. I am backing away from the situation and reiterated the numbers. Hollyj, I think you might be confusing me with someone else. My friend never dumped me. =)

  2. #12
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    Originally Posted by melancholy123
    This is above your pay grade. Yes you can be her friend and offer to take her and her child in, but you cant do much beyond this, I dont think you are a doctor or lawyer or therapist. She needs intervention from those 3 sources. You need to do better at minding your own business while being a friend, you are too involved.
    thanks for your reply. But I am unsure how to be a friend and do better and minding my business? I am not being snarky; it is a genuine question. Like, when she asks to talk to me do I tell her not to? where have I crossed the line? I didn't knowingly, I am not asking to be invloved, she just is involving me. I am unsure what I am doing wrong or what I should do. This is confusing,

  3. #13
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    She sounds like a drama queen seeking attention. Either she's going to leave the situation, or she isn't. You can tell her she should, but she should be the one here posting. Not you. You don't get to make any decisions on her life. You are feeding off the drama.

  4. #14
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    Originally Posted by Nickel Speed
    She sounds like a drama queen seeking attention. Either she's going to leave the situation, or she isn't. You can tell her she should, but she should be the one here posting. Not you. You don't get to make any decisions on her life. You are feeding off the drama.
    she asked me to get perspective on what this was. :/ should I not have? thanks for your reply by the way. =) you guys are awesome

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  6. #15
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    she also wants me to go with her this monday to the lawyer. She asked me to go with her.I am actually not happy to do that; I feel her brother or mother should do it. Am I being selfish?

  7. #16
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Anytime a woman is forced, coerced or made to feel like she has to have sex when she doesn't want to..it's rape.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    She needs to get out of the situation and yes..if she goes to a lawyer, her family should be the ones to go. You don't want to get blamed for leading her there and her husband could very well see it that way.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    There was an analogy somewhere online about a cup of tea and rape..it made a lot of sense.

    It went something like...did she ask for this cup of tea? No? then it's rape
    did she say no to this cup of tea but was given it anyway? then it's rape.
    Did she take a sip but then decide she didn't want it but was then forced to drink it? then it's rape
    etc.
    It's online somewhere but it clears things up pretty quickly.

  10. #19
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    OP itís so nice you are caring and concerned for her but unfortunately this is one of those situations where only she can help herself. You can suggest hotlines or shelters or professionals that help in domestic abuse cases and thatís all you can do. She has to come to the realization she needs that extra help. You said she was in denial, so all you can do is offer those solutions but this isnít something you can actively pursue yourself.

    If I were you I wouldnít take her burden onto your shoulders. Itís horrible what sheís going through, but donít treat this as your problem it can become toxic for you.

    Best of luck

  11. #20
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by caraviolin
    thanks for your reply. But I am unsure how to be a friend and do better and minding my business? I am not being snarky; it is a genuine question. Like, when she asks to talk to me do I tell her not to? where have I crossed the line? I didn't knowingly, I am not asking to be invloved, she just is involving me. I am unsure what I am doing wrong or what I should do. This is confusing,
    Read post #19, it sums up how I think about this situation. I understand you are being genuine, not snarky.

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