what should I do???

So i met a guy online around three weeks ago.

We had a first date 2 weeks ago. It went great. I had asked him if he wants to meet again before i go holiday we set up a date and time and place.

At the same day, he actually cancelled the date 2 hrs before the date because of a work situation, for which he did apologise multiple times.

He said to do it again and we set up a date after i came back.

Texting is 50/50 his and mine initiation normally.

Last week before the date day, i did most of the initiation. Finally we did confirm date and we went.

In our dates he made effort and paid for everything and before the dates saying multiple times how much he wants to see me.

At the mid to end of our second date, we kissed quite a bit passionately and suggested to go to a hotel as he has bought a property and temporarily stays at his parents house.

He said he didnt aim to have sex, he wanted to cuddle and kiss all night long.

I just told him going to a hotel is too early in and he agreed.

After the date i texted him for the great night and talked through Sunday. He said he cant wait to explore each other.

Monday passes by and no text.

Monday night i called him accidentally on whats app

In the morning he said that he fell asleep and didnt see my call with a morning text.

I then said i didnt mean to call him and i texted morning, saying it was accidental. I apologised if i woke him up etc.

He hasnt texted me anything since this morning.

Shall i wait for a third date??

i feel like i shouldnt be pushy and if he is interested he will

That's a lot of texting. Too much, in my opinion. Sounds like this guy is just out for sex. I mean, he invited you to a hotel and he barely knows you. My guess is, he will fade off because he is mostly interested in starting a physical relationship and you turned that down.

That's a lot of texting. Too much, in my opinion. Sounds like this guy is just out for sex. I mean, he invited you to a hotel and he barely knows you. My guess is, he will fade off because he is mostly interested in starting a physical relationship and you turned that down.

I just said it was too early and he agreed that it was and he would like to kiss me all night long.

I also enjoyed kissing and i would wish for more privacy but still too early for a hotel and maybe general sleepover.

So tbh i feel like asking for a third date is too pushy at this stage??

I agree with SGH. He invites you to a hotel on the second date?????? Only a player would do that.

You rejected him for sex, and so I think he'll disappear.

Nope.

He invites you to a hotel on the second date, the dude was only interested in sex. Do not be so naive to think that he wanted to go to a hotel for kissing and cuddling.

Do not contact him again. You need to be able to recognize the players, earlier on.

Please don't be so naive. No guy invites you to a hotel for just kisses and cuddles. Good that you had the sense to reject that.

Also.....he is living with parents and his place is not ready......you don't even know who this guy is and whether he is even single. Sounds a lot like he isn't. Inviting you to a hotel on second date should send off all kinds of creep alarms. No, you shouldn't ask for a third date, you should delete him from further contact even if he does try with you again. Everything about this stinks worse than rotten fish.

I just said it was too early and he agreed that it was and he would like to kiss me all night long.

 

I also enjoyed kissing and i would wish for more privacy but still too early for a hotel and maybe general sleepover.

 

So tbh i feel like asking for a third date is too pushy at this stage??

You said no, but it doesn't change the fact that he still asked.

I would have run away the moment a man asked me to stay in hotel on a second date.

Things seem to shift after you turned down his offer. That's what you need to focus on.

He wants to f@&$ you not date you.... he let you pursue him, suggested a hotel on the second date, and hasn’t initiated a third... if you are okay with having a casual fling then go for it! Otherwise let him fade away and move on to the next one.

You said no, but it doesn't change the fact that he still asked.

I would have run away the moment a man asked me to stay in hotel on a second date.

Things seem to shift after you turned down his offer. That's what you need to focus on.

Well tbh we were a bit drunk and i guess a bit horny and i think he said that for the privacy.

But yes. I asked him multiple times if he is single etc he said yes.

But also said that he didnt want to happen so.soon.

He said he is 8 months single from his child's mother but in reality they were over two yrs ago .

So he has moved out and staying to his parents till he moves in to the new flat.

Well i didn't reject him i said i want to explore things with him.

I dunno. Of course i wont contact. Do u think he aint single???

You do not know this guy. It is strong possibility he is with someone else.

He wanted sex. Wake up.

Hmmm well certainly i wont contact at all .

Yes I wouldn't contact and for your own safety stay sober around men you just met. Sorry!

Just lay and cuddle?? Wow that guy is as bad as one date I had years ago that suggested we could just lay naked side by side and not have sex!

I would cut your losses with this one and find someone more of a sincere gentleman.

Next time they suggest sex right off the bat don’t see them again or expect they want anything serious

I mean we were just a bit tipsy not drunk, but things were getting hot between us with the kiss and he did make quite an effort on the date, paid for everything etc.

But ye... if i dunno he might not be even single

Are you hearing what we are saying! Who cares if he paid. he only wanted to get in your pants.

Do you equate someone paying for a date, not being a player? Do you usually pay for dates?

Do you equate someone paying for a date, not being a player? Do you usually pay for dates?

Obviously not. He said also he likes me as a person, he was very attentive, etc

Well tbh we were a bit drunk and i guess a bit horny and i think he said that for the privacy.

 

But yes. I asked him multiple times if he is single etc he said yes.

 

But also said that he didnt want to happen so.soon.

 

He said he is 8 months single from his child's mother but in reality they were over two yrs ago .

 

So he has moved out and staying to his parents till he moves in to the new flat.

 

Well i didn't reject him i said i want to explore things with him.

 

I dunno. Of course i wont contact. Do u think he aint single???

Please don't believe everything a guy tells you, that's where you're tripping yourself up.

You take his word as gospel, when it's obvious to all of us his wanting "kisses and cuddles" all night was a load of crap!

He knew once he got you in that position, sex was going to happen, please don't be so naive about that.

As others have said, no man invites a woman to a hotel on a second date for kisses and cuddles, come on now, use your "noodle" as my late mom would say.

Meaning, be smart about these things!

There are many great guys out there but there are also many guys who aren't, who lie to get what they want (sex), he sounds like one of them from what you've posted.

Re him still living at home, yeah with his wife!

Get rid of this bozo, he's bad news!

I dont say i believe anything he says. Anyway if i wouldn't see.where he lives i would not get involved

I dont say i believe anything he says. Anyway if i wouldn't see.where he lives i would not get involved

I think it's clear you do, you keep saying "he told me this, he told me that" like it was gospel or something, it's not!!

He did not want just kisses and cuddles, even though he "said" that's all he wanted.

Again, be smart!!

Anyway it seems like he aint bothered to contact me anymore

Anyway it seems like he aint bothered to contact me anymore

The question I have, is why would you even be interested?

Sorry about all of this. I can relate to everything that happened. Look, they may truly believe it would be "just cuddling," but we all know that you both wouldn't mind partaking of more, which is precisely why we stay away from situations where clothes have a habit of easily coming off; when passions run high and inhibitions run low. It happens. The fact that he so easily dropped away does suggest he was seeking sex and does not really wish to put in the effort of courting. He would have disappeared whether you slept with him or not. Something didn't mesh. It's unfortunate, as you seem to feel like you really connected. When it comes to texting and contact, I will try to follow the norm that was established. I shouldn't be afraid to text if everything so far is 50/50 or we toss out words during the day; however, you will catch a vibe that things are not reciprocal, so at that point, it's time to drop it. At some point you need to leave him to pick up the slack. There is no magic formula to know when that is, but I would say after one or two unanswered texts/calls or lazy reciprocation, drop the rope.

He is ghosting because he wanted a night in the hotel.

our second date, we kissed quite a bit passionately and suggested to go to a hotel as he has bought a property and temporarily stays at his parents house.

Awwww he likes you “as a person”

That’s because you are female and so far well on the way to putting out.

What’s not to like from his perspective?

He has not tried to get to know you and wants to “explore”

You do realise the term explore means physically?

Why don’t you book a hotel room under his name , ask him to pay, he will be very happy to , but make it very clear you just want to cuddle! Meet him in the lobby, give him a cuddle, walk away and say thanks for a great night. Lol

If you want sex, meet him again. If you want more , don’t. Simple as that?