How does he pay the bills when you also work? Tell your hubby that this is the 21st century and women are no longer second class citizens. If he wants to live with that kind of attitude, he can pay you alimony and if he doesn't like that idea, he better get with the modern times and adjust his attitude and behavior.

Regarding the free loading buddy either he needs to clean house in exchange for rent, pay rent, or get out. You are married and that means equal say so in every aspect of your lives. You are married to a misogynistic bully and might want to rethink what you are doing with that.