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Thread: Am I crazy?

  1. #1

    Am I crazy?

    I have been dating my GF for almost 2 years. It is a serious committed relationship. I have a situation and I am looking for advice to assist me in trying to figure out if I have an issue or I am making an issue out of nothing.... My GF leaves me her cell phone she uses for social media, some texting, and general internet activity. ( she has another work phone she uses as a primary phone). She leaves it to me on occasion when she goes out as it has an app on it to control the tv. I have noticed on both occasions she has left it with me, that she has deleted her instagram app, and her browser history both times prior to giving it to me... Should I be concerned about this or am I getting worked up about something I should not be?
    I’m trying to put this into context.
    Any advice would be appreciated.
    Thank you.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Would you describe the relationship as healthy? Are you happy, still growing together, still excited? Has there been anything else—a sudden distance, a change in your dynamic—that has made you suspicious lately?

    And, of course, the big one: Do you trust her?

  3. #3
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    Why don't you ask her?

    Not in an accusatory way, more out of curiosity, I would, and have!

    Gauge her response.

    Whether she gives you a reason that sounds legit, or she tenses up, or she attempts to flip it back on you, her response will tell you everything you need to know.

    It doesn't have to be this huge deal, like you're accusing her of anything; I just don't get why some men (and women) are so afraid to ask such questions of their partners.

    If something is bothering you, for the love *, communicate!!

    Same holds true for women.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    I'm with Katrina. :)

    You: "Babe, I notice that everytime you give me phone "A" you delete your Instagram app. Why is that?" Then listen and don't say anything until she does.

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  6. #5
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    Originally Posted by ThatwasThen
    I'm with Katrina. :)

    You: "Babe, I notice that everytime you give me phone "A" you delete your Instagram app. Why is that?" Then listen and don't say anything until she does.
    Perfect!

    .....

  7. #6
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Great advice^^.

  8. #7
    Thank you for the responses..... to address both, I believe I do trust her, but experiencing things like this make me think. I want to have faith, but things like that don’t make sense to me... My thinking is..... at the very least, there is something in both the Instagram account, and the browser history she does not want me to potentially see..... my real concern is what is it that she is so concerned that I see that she would temporarily remove the app, and delete her history?

  9. #8
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Well, stop spinning in your mind and ask her, right?

    I mean, I can sit here and spitball a handful of scenarios, but I worry all that's going to do is increase the spins. Like, maybe she knows you've got a paranoid streak, sees you asking for the phone as a kind of test, and doesn't want you snooping because she likes her privacy. Or maybe she had an ex who was super nosy and this is a holdover habit from that relationship. Or maybe she simply likes some places—digital and actual—that are hers and hers only. Or maybe, yeah, she's hiding something...

    But, you see, all those tributaries just land you back in the same place.

    One thing I have to admit I'm curious about: Do you not have a phone of your own that can control the TV? Does the TV not have a remote?

  10. #9
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Micheal76
    Thank you for the responses..... to address both, I believe I do trust her, but experiencing things like this make me think. I want to have faith, but things like that don’t make sense to me... My thinking is..... at the very least, there is something in both the Instagram account, and the browser history she does not want me to potentially see..... my real concern is what is it that she is so concerned that I see that she would temporarily remove the app, and delete her history?
    Can you not see her Instagram profile when you are on your own phone or PC? And yes, does your t.v. not have its own remote?

  11. #10
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    Did you miss our responses advising you to just ask her?

    Read ThatwasThen's response re how to phrase it so you're not accusing her of anything.

    More just curious, perhaps she has a legit reason..

    Rather than let it fester within until it drives you crazy? Which tbh already sounds like it has.

    May I ask what's stopping you from asking her? Are you afraid of her reaction?

    Being afraid to talk w your own partner is the kiss of death imo.

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