Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 21

Thread: Should I take her back if she slept with someone whilst on a break?

  1. #11

    Join Date
    May 2019
    Location
    United Kingdom
    Posts
    6
    Gender
    Male
    Originally Posted by indea08
    Why donít you just not ask the question that you donít want the answer to?? Itís really not your business anyways, because sheís not currently your girlfriend. You have nothing to gain by asking because if she has slept with someone, sheís either going to lie or youíre going to learn information that will cause you all sorts of pain for no reason (you canít change it, it is what it is).

    So instead of asking questions that do more harm than good, why not spend your time more constructively and focus on fixing the issues that caused the breakup, falling back in love, building trust, etc.
    I feel like I would need to know, if she had then I was clearly left as a back up.

  2. #12

    Join Date
    May 2019
    Location
    United Kingdom
    Posts
    6
    Gender
    Male
    Originally Posted by katrina1980
    Was just about to say this^, Clio beat me to it!


    Flipping roles, if my bf ever told me such a thing, I'd wish him well in his future pursuits and walk.

    I'm just speculating but it sounds like she's got eyes for someone else, wants to be free to explore that, if it doesn't work out, wants to be sure you're still there to pick up the pieces.

    I fully support your decision to not go there, to take care of you, and find a better gf.
    Iíd love to be able to just say goodbye and walk but I honestly donít know if I could, doesnt help being my first love (cheesy I know) itís been made more obvious that I am most probability being strung along and expected to pick up the pieces but it comes back to the what if, what if sheís doesnít and simply needed space... lost something good if thatís the case.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    2,117
    Gender
    Male
    Did you lose your virginity to you? Did you lose your virginity together?

    Mind giving a sense of how old you both are. It'll inform a more nuanced response.

  4. #14

    Join Date
    May 2019
    Location
    United Kingdom
    Posts
    6
    Gender
    Male
    Originally Posted by bluecastle
    Did you lose your virginity to you? Did you lose your virginity together?

    Mind giving a sense of how old you both are. It'll inform a more nuanced response.
    Both of us are 21 and both have had sex prior to the relationship

  5.  

  6. #15
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Posts
    8,943
    Originally Posted by Chandler141

    Iíd love to be able to just say goodbye and walk but I honestly donít know if I could, doesnt help being my first love (cheesy I know) itís been made more obvious that I am most probability being strung along and expected to pick up the pieces but it comes back to the what if, what if sheís doesnít and simply needed space... lost something good if thatís the case.
    Well yeah, it takes a lot of emotional strength, a decent level of self-esteem and self-respect, a desire to not be a "mug" (as you called it) and knowing you deserve better.

    If you don't possess these qualities, work on developing them, otherwise you risk being taken for a chump in all your subsequent relationships!

    Best of luck to you moving forward.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Posts
    8,943
    Originally Posted by Chandler141
    Iíd love to be able to just say goodbye and walk but I honestly donít know if I could, doesnt help being my first love (cheesy I know) itís been made more obvious that I am most probability being strung along and expected to pick up the pieces but it comes back to the what if, what if sheís doesnít and simply needed space... lost something good if thatís the case.
    It's her overall mindset that she wants to explore sex w other men, her desire to.

    She doesn't just need "space," she told you this!

    This, in and of itself, is troubling Imo.

    If she were in love w you like you are w her, she would not have this desire.

    So there is an huge imbalance w respect to your respective feelings for each other and where you want the relationship to go.

    This would not be ok w me, is it ok for you?

  8. #17
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Location
    British Columbia, Canada
    Posts
    1,059
    Gender
    Female
    Who cares whether she slept with someone else on the break? It was a break. Holding a grudge for behaviours during that time is a red herring and a waste of energy. She's entitled to do whatever she pleases if this is a rocky relationship to start and you both weren't fully committed to each other. You might want to reconsider ever getting back with an ex after any break, considering that you aren't able to withstand the repercussions of what a "break" really means in the first place.

    What matters is the way she's stringing you along. You're burning up your energies getting mad over the wrong thing.
    Moving on is the best advice I can give. And don't let someone sap up your peace of mind so easily. This is long over.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2017
    Posts
    2,117
    Gender
    Male
    Originally Posted by katrina1980
    Well yeah, it takes a lot of emotional strength, a decent level of self-esteem and self-respect, a desire to not be a "mug" (as you called it) and knowing you deserve better.

    If you don't possess these qualities, work on developing them, otherwise you risk being taken for a chump in all your subsequent relationships!

    Best of luck to you moving forward.
    Great advice, right here.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member lostandhurt's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    California
    Age
    55
    Posts
    7,778
    Gender
    Male
    This sounds like she is interested in some one else and told you she wants a break so she can take him for a test drive without cheating on you.

    What are the reasons for the break? I bet they are pretty thin or non existent.

    The problem with your question is that it hasn't happened yet. She hasn't slept with some other guy so you cannot answer the question yet.

    If I were you I would do my best to see this as permanent and get on with healing and moving on with your life. The way she phrased the break as being able to do what ever she wants means she is telling you she plans on fooling around with other guys and if she gets bored with them then she might reconsider you.

    I know it can be hard but don't just sit around waiting for her to come back, heal and then get back out there as it is pretty obvious that she isn't to heartbroken over all this.

    Lost

  11. #20
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Posts
    1,915
    Break is code for she wants to mugambo with another man. But she likes having you on tap as Plan B.

    Yuck. Move on, do not look back. You deserve better in life than being someone's back up plan. If she was in love with you then there is no way she'd want another man.

Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •