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Unemployed for two years/Previous supervisor bad mouthing me


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I have been unemployed for two years now, after I graduated with my Bachelors degree. I did two internships because I had to leave my first one, due to being verbally/emotionally abused by my supervisor. I am now convinced that my first supervisor is the reason why no one will hire me. If job interviewers are calling my first internship, she would for sure bad mouth me to them, as she did to the staff at my school when we tried to solve the issues. I let my school know about the abuse that was going on, and even they were shocked. Of course the supervisor denied everything. I've considered leaving out my first internship from my resume, but I can't lie about the dates matching my second internship, as I was only there for a short while, to finish the remainder of my hours. I really don't know what to do. You can imagine the anxiety and frustration that comes with this situation. What can I do?

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I have been unemployed for two years now, after I graduated with my Bachelors degree. I did two internships because I had to leave my first one, due to being verbally/emotionally abused by my supervisor. I am now convinced that my first supervisor is the reason why no one will hire me. If job interviewers are calling my first internship, she would for sure bad mouth me to them, as she did to the staff at my school when we tried to solve the issues. I let my school know about the abuse that was going on, and even they were shocked. Of course the supervisor denied everything. I've considered leaving out my first internship from my resume, but I can't lie about the dates matching my second internship, as I was only there for a short while, to finish the remainder of my hours. I really don't know what to do. You can imagine the anxiety and frustration that comes with this situation. What can I do?

 

What profession?

The “bad mouthing”? Was there truth in it?

Do you truly believe this is the profession for you? And why?

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Seems straight forward to me. If you can not leave out the first internship due to the fact that the dates don't really add up then naturally, any HR Manager should be able to look at it and ask you about the reason why the second internship was so short. From that question you should answer honestly about the reason why needing a short internship for the second one and be vague about the problems you had in the first one. For example I would tell them that in the first internship, the management/company didn't fit well and that there was a need to move to a different internship. Also at the same time if there were a possibility to stay in the first internship then you would have, however that opportunity never materialized and that leaving that first internship you knew that probably wasn't the best choice but at the time it was the right choice as staying would have not been good for either the company or yourself.

 

It's vague, doesn't tell the whole story except for the fact that there were issues between you and that company and to know more about it they would need to hire you first as well as it is your decision if you want to tell people after you get hired.

 

Just make sure when you describe what happened in the first internship you do not bring any negative light to yourself or to that other company (their supervisor).

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What profession?

The “bad mouthing”? Was there truth in it?

Do you truly believe this is the profession for you? And why?

 

Social Work. There is absolutely no truth in the bad mouthing. I worked hard at the internship, obeyed all orders, even did extra work, while the supervisor gave a lighter load to the other interns. She would yell at me when no one was around, calling me lazy, telling me that I was good for nothing, and that she didn't see me making it in the field, and that I should just quit. I didn't talk back because I was scared to receive a failing grade. I would allow her to just yell at me, while I sat there trying not to cry, but I was going home crying almost daily. I couldn't take it anymore, so I told the school everything that had taken place. The supervisor denied everything, and made up lies about my work ethic. Thankfully, my school was able to switch me to a different place, and my experience there was better. I believe the supervisor didn't like me because she was giving illegal law advice to clients, and I asked the other social workers about it, and they said she could get fired if this was true. My teachers said the same thing, and I believe someone must've told her that I was questioning what she was doing. I was only trying to gain clarity, not get her in trouble, because I was new to all of this. The supervisor brought it up once to me, that she believed someone could try to get her fired for giving illegal advice, and she mentioned she had clients best interest, so she was going out of her way to put herself at risk for them.

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Seems straight forward to me. If you can not leave out the first internship due to the fact that the dates don't really add up then naturally, any HR Manager should be able to look at it and ask you about the reason why the second internship was so short. From that question you should answer honestly about the reason why needing a short internship for the second one and be vague about the problems you had in the first one. For example I would tell them that in the first internship, the management/company didn't fit well and that there was a need to move to a different internship. Also at the same time if there were a possibility to stay in the first internship then you would have, however that opportunity never materialized and that leaving that first internship you knew that probably wasn't the best choice but at the time it was the right choice as staying would have not been good for either the company or yourself.

 

It's vague, doesn't tell the whole story except for the fact that there were issues between you and that company and to know more about it they would need to hire you first as well as it is your decision if you want to tell people after you get hired.

 

Just make sure when you describe what happened in the first internship you do not bring any negative light to yourself or to that other company (their supervisor).

 

This is exactly what I have been doing, I'm vague about the situation, letting them know we were just not a match, because I was not receiving the experience that I was seeking, but that I still learned important skills, and that my second internship went well, and I let them know why it went well. If they contact my first internship, it's the supervisor's word against mine. She really hated me. If she said awful things to my face, what would she not say to the employers who might contact her. I feel like I have no control over this situation. It's been two years.

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i honesty don't know how that field works as well as what country you are from so if anything, after two years of job hunting and not getting it, I would just leave out both the internships out and submit a resume based on education alone.

 

Another thing though, have you had any in between jobs while searching for a job that you want? Because here's where the problem is when I am just reading about the situation.

 

You went to 2 internships. Falling out in 1 and short term in the 2nd.

You graduated 2 years ago.

You have a interview and your work experience is still only from internships.

The interviewer hears your story.

The interviewer calls the place you interned and they tell the interviewer their side of the story.

Now the interviewer has to make a decision.

 

If i was the interviewer I would question, what have you done within two years? No volunteer work? any in between jobs, even hourly jobs like McDonalds or some secretary jobs? I mean there are jobs, maybe not so good but there are jobs you could take, even part time.

 

Why is this important?

Because if your old supervisor is saying you are lazy. Then your actions within the 2 years of not having a job confirms it.

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i honesty don't know how that field works as well as what country you are from so if anything, after two years of job hunting and not getting it, I would just leave out both the internships out and submit a resume based on education alone.

 

Another thing though, have you had any in between jobs while searching for a job that you want? Because here's where the problem is when I am just reading about the situation.

 

You went to 2 internships. Falling out in 1 and short term in the 2nd.

You graduated 2 years ago.

You have a interview and your work experience is still only from internships.

The interviewer hears your story.

The interviewer calls the place you interned and they tell the interviewer their side of the story.

Now the interviewer has to make a decision.

 

If i was the interviewer I would question, what have you done within two years? No volunteer work? any in between jobs, even hourly jobs like McDonalds or some secretary jobs? I mean there are jobs, maybe not so good but there are jobs you could take, even part time.

 

Why is this important?

Because if your old supervisor is saying you are lazy. Then your actions within the 2 years of not having a job confirms it.

 

I am very worried about these past two years of no work for that reason as well. unfortunately I can't go back now, so this looks really bad, the long unemployment gap. I feel like I am screwed. I feel like I'll never find a job due to all of this. I could work fast food like you said, but I worked so hard to get a degree so that I wouldn't go back to such jobs.

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100% volunteer work may be your way out. In fact volunteer work is great for anyone that has no experience in a certain field. I'm not a social worker but I'm a welfare worker in community services.

 

Back in 2011 I'd done a mental health course at TAFE (community college). I had done a placement/internship but had no work experience so I volunteered at a church programme for disadvantaged people. I also volunteered in an art class for people with disabilities. Then I applied only for one job in mental health and they called my two volunteer referees and I got the job. Then I was made redundant because the place closed down but I knew a manager from that job who became a manager at another welfare organisation and he gave me a job in that organisation. Now I've been working there for 2.5 years.

 

Anyway my point was you have to just get your foot in the door somehow and you need to network. Volunteering, temping, Linked In profile, do whatever you can. A previous poster was right, what have you actually done in the two years to remedy your situation? Employers like to see someone who is proactive and has been doing something with themselves. Even if that something is small like volunteering at a homeless shelter or soup kitchen once a week, it still looks much better than doing nothing.

 

Good luck!

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100% volunteer work may be your way out. In fact volunteer work is great for anyone that has no experience in a certain field. I'm not a social worker but I'm a welfare worker in community services.

 

Back in 2011 I'd done a mental health course at TAFE (community college). I had done a placement/internship but had no work experience so I volunteered at a church programme for disadvantaged people. I also volunteered in an art class for people with disabilities. Then I applied only for one job in mental health and they called my two volunteer referees and I got the job. Then I was made redundant because the place closed down but I knew a manager from that job who became a manager at another welfare organisation and he gave me a job in that organisation. Now I've been working there for 2.5 years.

 

Anyway my point was you have to just get your foot in the door somehow and you need to network. Volunteering, temping, Linked In profile, do whatever you can. A previous poster was right, what have you actually done in the two years to remedy your situation? Employers like to see someone who is proactive and has been doing something with themselves. Even if that something is small like volunteering at a homeless shelter or soup kitchen once a week, it still looks much better than doing nothing.

 

Good luck!

 

 

Probably said it better than I could.

 

Temping

Volunteer

Even more schooling.

 

Go do something. Don't think like "oh i spent xxxx amount of years on xxxx education and working so hard to get it" Don't be an that person you think you are better than someone who works at McDonalds. People do what people do to get by. Just think of it as "you need to start somewhere". Any job you get is a stepping stone for that job that you really want and deserve. However the effort needs to be there. Everyone has a bachelors degree now, everyone is competing for that 1 job that you are after. Make yourself stand out.

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Probably said it better than I could.

 

Temping

Volunteer

Even more schooling.

 

Go do something. Don't think like "oh i spent xxxx amount of years on xxxx education and working so hard to get it" Don't be an that person you think you are better than someone who works at McDonalds. People do what people do to get by. Just think of it as "you need to start somewhere". Any job you get is a stepping stone for that job that you really want and deserve. However the effort needs to be there. Everyone has a bachelors degree now, everyone is competing for that 1 job that you are after. Make yourself stand out.

 

I don't think I am better than people who work fast food jobs. I'm not sure why you would say something like that. I worked very hard for my education because I wanted a better life for myself. Working low wage jobs was hard to make a living that way.

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I could work fast food like you said, but I worked so hard to get a degree so that I wouldn't go back to such jobs.

 

this statement made me think that. No one wants to work those jobs, some people don't have better options and some people use it just so that they don't have too big of a gap in unemployment.

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this statement made me think that. No one wants to work those jobs, some people don't have better options and some people use it just so that they don't have too big of a gap in unemployment.

 

That does not mean I think I am better than people who work at low wage jobs. I empathize with them. It's not easy, and they are underpaid for how hard they work. I've been there. Still, I appreciate all of your replies. Everyone gave me good advice, and I am grateful for it. I think I will look at other jobs, as well as volunteering. I have a lot of thinking to do now.

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It's important to get some experience at something even if not directly related to your studies or do some voluntary work so that those internships don't weight so much in your resume. You can't turn back in time but you can start building experience now.

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If you are in the US, quite frankly what a potential employer can ask and what the previous employer can say is going to be highly limited. In short, badmouthing can land your supervisor in a lawsuit so it's unlikely they are engaging in that kind of behavior. For the most part, questions are usually sent in writing to HR. The supervisors don't even see it. HR will simply respond to standard questions which are typically dates of employment and position and that's about it. In fact most companies have very strict policies against divulging employee information regardless of what waivers you've signed with your prospective employer about sharing info. I hope you aren't putting names and phone numbers of your previous supervisors on your resume (I've seen people doing this).

 

If you are getting interviews but no job offers, something is coming off wrong during the interview itself. If you can find some business people who sort of know you but not too well and can be brutally honest with you, go ahead and do some mock interviews and get some feedback on what's happening. Also, universities have workshops like that as well where you can do mock interviews and get feedback right there and then from recruiters. Go to your uni career center and ask for help. Also, be sure you are using the career center to apply for entry level jobs. Most employers who are willing to hire people without experience are going to hire on campus. That's your best bet even if you are a couple of years out. Employers hiring at a particular uni also tend to have a preference for graduates from that particular place, so use that to your advantage.

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If you are in the US, quite frankly what a potential employer can ask and what the previous employer can say is going to be highly limited. In short, badmouthing can land your supervisor in a lawsuit so it's unlikely they are engaging in that kind of behavior. For the most part, questions are usually sent in writing to HR. The supervisors don't even see it. HR will simply respond to standard questions which are typically dates of employment and position and that's about it. In fact most companies have very strict policies against divulging employee information regardless of what waivers you've signed with your prospective employer about sharing info. I hope you aren't putting names and phone numbers of your previous supervisors on your resume (I've seen people doing this).

 

 

This. ^^^ Don't use the badmouthed as a reference or supply any contact to her in any way. Use the contact info of the organization's HR department, so they can confirm your dates of service. Use other people as references, but ask them first so that they can expect the contacts from potential employers.

 

Apply with temp agencies to get placed within companies near your home, and once you establish your work ethic, you can apply for unpublished jobs from within those firms.

 

Do ANYthing but nothing.

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Is there an HR department.

 

If you did not do anything criminal, it is illegal for her to bad mouth you. You could have a friend call as a perspective employer to see what is being said- I would record the call. You could take legal action if she is preventing you from gaining employment.

 

Why aren't you volunteering? You should be doing something. Hw do you account for all of this free time on your resume?

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The longer you are unemployed, the more difficult it is to find a job. So get going. Go to networking events in your field. Look at who is on the board at local nonprofits and who chairs the different fundraising events. If those people are in the fields you want to be in, then go volunteer and you never know. my last few contract jobs I landed because I already knew someone there. In fact, one person who hired me was a long time friend and professional contact of my dad's. My dad was telling him what the family was up to these days and when he heard about what i was doing, he inquired. Another person i knew through volunteering. Another person was someone in a club with my guy's family member. Another I met because they posted they needed someone on a Facebook group. BTW, none of these people did official reference checks. One did a criminal background check because i would be handling money bit everyone else hired me based on previously knowing me or of me somehow.

 

A

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This. ^^^ Don't use the badmouthed as a reference or supply any contact to her in any way. Use the contact info of the organization's HR department, so they can confirm your dates of service. Use other people as references, but ask them first so that they can expect the contacts from potential employers.

 

Apply with temp agencies to get placed within companies near your home, and once you establish your work ethic, you can apply for unpublished jobs from within those firms.

 

Do ANYthing but nothing.

 

You could even not include the internship on your resume. During that time you were in school and people understand maybe you were not working. Include the other internship and any volunteer opps or school committees you were on. And get a job to pay the bills whatever it is. Are you staying current in your field?

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I'm in a very negative state of mind right now. Having major anxiety, and depression over this. I feel I wasted my life away. I haven't done anything in these two years. Just apply for jobs, go to interviews, and a lot of waiting and hoping someone would call. I've wasted my life away.

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If they contact my first internship, it's the supervisor's word against mine. She really hated me. If she said awful things to my face, what would she not say to the employers who might contact her.

 

I know the situation with your first employers feels like (and was) a big deal to you, but honestly, I don't think this type of thing is a big deal to employers--especially so early in your career.

 

I feel like I have no control over this situation. It's been two years.

 

You're right; you don't have any control over the situation. But it's happened to people before and it will happen to people again. Employers know this. I doubt that most would hinge their whole decision on this one woman's testimony, especially given the fact that you were able to find a second internship so quickly after the first internship, and that the second internship was a positive experience.

 

I can say this with confidence because I literally walked off a job after a series of arguments with an office manager, and I landed a new job just a couple of weeks later. I did this having (stupidly) put that office manager down as a employer contact/reference. I was in my early 20s and felt like I had to put her as the contact or I would somehow be lying (20 years later, I realize I was wrong about that). Despite directing them to this spiteful individual, I got the job and whatever nastiness she emitted didn't matter to my new employer.

 

Why didn't it matter? Because I was temping for them and they could see my work ethic for themselves. They didn't need some angry unknown idiot to tell them what to think. When I applied and interviewed for the permanent position, I was forthcoming about what happened at my last job. I told them that I'd walked out on the office manager and that she probably wouldn't give me a good reference. My new employer really didn't care. They liked me. I ended up working there for 6 years.

 

This new company was a Fortune 100 company with a top-notch HR department. I learned from the director of HR that a former employer can actually get sued for badmouthing former employees, and that at my new company, the most they would do was confirm that someone was employed. They did not provide references on behalf of the company.

 

Obviously, some people are reckless and/or unaware of the risk they expose themselves to. My former office manager was indeed full of hate and anger towards me and pounced on the chance to give me a bad reference. I know because my mom's coworker called her and pretended to be a potential employer checking my work history. I laughed about it then, and I laugh even harder about it now. What a loser.

 

You need to start working. If you can't get a job in this field, find work in related fields and continue to keep an eye out. Don't just lie down and die.

 

You are dragging your past around with you and allowing it to weigh you down. I can guarantee, just from reading your posts, that this is obvious to others that you interact with. You have to divorce yourself from that mindset or you will be stuck. The interviewer doesn't want to be the arbiter of a situation that happened two years ago. The interviewer wants to find a candidate to do a job. If you're sitting in front of them, still quivering over mean things that happened two years ago, they cannot build faith in your ability to handle difficult situations in the present time.

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I'm in a very negative state of mind right now. Having major anxiety, and depression over this. I feel I wasted my life away. I haven't done anything in these two years. Just apply for jobs, go to interviews, and a lot of waiting and hoping someone would call. I've wasted my life away.

 

You have full control over your own willingness to apply at temp agencies and gain work experience through exposure to various companies.

 

Only a fraction of grads actually work in their field of study. This doesn't mean that you can't return to it, especially after taking some grad school classes to refresh your resume in this area. But meanwhile, people work in other jobs to support themselves and stay fiscally and mentally sound.

 

We each get to choose how we'll use our experiences--even the lousy ones. We can opt to use them as learning devices to move forward and know what NOT to do, or we can paralyze ourselves and stagnate because of them. No potential employer is interested in peeling back the layers of your experience to blame you for an unfortunate internship. You do NOT need to use that woman as reference--list that HR department as a set of brackets of time on your resume AND your applications to temp agencies who don't care beyond what you can deliver TODAY.

 

Once you start building work experience through temp jobs, you can figure out over time how you'll want to account for your 2 years off, such as travel or a family care situation that is resolved--whatever. But unless you start working at jobs that you CAN obtain, your window of inactivity just keeps growing larger.

 

It makes no sense to do nothing. You will surprise yourself by how grounding and normalizing it will feel to get your feet wet with temporary positions that don't require a professional background. You can find ways to rebuild your background in the meantime, AFTER you learn to acclimate to professional environments where people are generally kind, considerate and not out to target you for hostility.

 

This would be the best form of therapy to gift yourself, but you need to take the basic steps to pursue it. Nobody else can do this FOR you, and ruminating about it only drills you into a deeper hole to climb out of.

 

Take some baby steps and feel the results.

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