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Thread: Boyfriend Searching Escorts

  1. #31
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Sorry about all this.

    I do hope you can truly let this go—and, with it, start letting go of the part of you that is drawn toward monitoring and policing in romance. Had your sleuthing uncovered side trips to flower shops and soup kitchens I'd describe this as an unhealthy relationship, as making control, paranoia, and taming the main ingredients of connection is to ensure that a connection is insincere. It's finding comfort in power over someone—and their power over you—rather than in connecting to their personhood.

    I know you had high hopes here, and hopes are always had to let go of. Inhale, exhale, hugs. Still, for your own future health and happiness, I hope you will find a way to view the mere instinct to monitor someone as a sign that someone isn't for you, rather than finding yourself drawn to people who live in a certain way that allows you to rationalize monitoring them. Can't help but think that was always part of the glue here: the fostering of habits on both sides that are at diametric odds to what you genuinely want.

    You gave this a full go, and then some. You're making the right call. Sometimes we need to take a few hard steps in one direction in order to get back on the right path. Best of luck carving that one out.

  2. #32
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    He will attempt to convince you to give him another chance. He'll swear he's committed to you and he loves you. He needs you (Free childcare? Financial? Image boost?) for unloving reasons.

    Don't fall for it.

  3. #33
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    He clearly has an addiction. He will never change without the help of therapy and a support group for sexalholics.

    You two went to couples therapy. Can I ask what he/she advised about all of this? Surely it must have come up that he has these issues???

  4. #34
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. Have you moved out completely? Where will you stay? You are making the right decisions unless you wish to live a lie with someone who will only cause pain. As far as his daughter, he is hurting her, not you.
    Originally Posted by L0stInSpac3
    Sadly my BF caved and fell into his old routine again. he drove to Bakersfield and finally gave in to search for escorts again (women, Ts and shemale)... He then searched table showers, body rubs in the area, etc. The investigator showed me how he rushed from the spa and sped like an insane person to be closer to the hotel, but not without stopping by the same fast food place before finally going to the hotel
    ... I began packing up my things in the house and trying to do so in a way where his daughter doesn’t notice.

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  6. #35
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by L0stInSpac3
    I decided that this is it for me... I began packing up my things in the house and trying to do so in a way where his daughter doesn’t notice. This is going to be do hard to leave but I have to look out for me...
    Good for you!!!

    So sorry it turned out like this.

    Don't look back. There was nothing you could do.

    Better things are heading your way. Believe it.

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