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Thread: Boyfriend Searching Escorts

  1. #21
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Seconding TwT. Happy you're happy. You've got listening ears here, if and when needed.

  2. #22
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    was when he asked me to stay. He agreed to see a therapist with me, he said he wants to work through this.

    I would have saw if he would have seen a therapist on his own instead of doing it with you to seek your approval. That would be the true test of if he REALLY is serious about being help. being his mother/warden will only last for so long.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Just keep in mind that in order for him to maintain a happy and dedicated relationship with you, he must be done with the past.

    He needs to make the choice of being happy with ONE woman. A lot of men who are ready for marriage, etc, are more than happy to do that, however with this man in particular he has displayed a bit of fall back while he's been with you.

    It is something to keep on eye on and most definitely something you both need to talk about and be as open as possible.

    If he's not ready to be a one woman man, that's okay..it's his decision, but he should not trick you either into making you believe he's done with all other women.
    You need to ask him openly and honestly without any accusations.
    But hopefully he has come to a place in his life now where a long term relationship with one woman means more than cheap thrills with nobodies.

    It really is something you need to both discuss and hopefully be happy with the end decision.

    I hope it works out for you. I know bad behaviors can be difficult to break, but not impossible.

  4. #24
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    That would be the true test of if he REALLY is serious about being help. being his mother/warden will only last for so long.
    Absolutely. HE must decide to change his ways and not be forced or watched all the time. Only when he is happy to close chapters from the past and is content with just you, will it truly work.

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  6. #25
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    Absolutely. I agree as well. It was very clear he had trouble dealing with his past, and it appears he’s had this as a crutch for a long time in previous relationships. I am being realistic that he may not be able to hang on to this new path, but that certainly doesn’t mean I have to stick around to deal with it. He did seem very genuine in making changes so that’s all I can hope for at this stage.

  7. #26
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    I agree with you also. We did have discussions about what is ok and what is not—I made it clear what’s not going to be tolerated. Given that he didn’t actually physically do anything is hopeful, but not good that he searched those things. It’s clearly a past pattern that’s probably going to be tough to break. And it’s my hope that he can continue to see the therapist without me, it seems he’s more comfortable starting this with me, which I understand.

    He did seem very serious and genuine in regards to us and being committed to me was a top priority. But actions speak louder than words so I have to wait this out to see how serious and genuine he is. I certainly won’t tolerate being tricked, who’s got time for that?! Not me.

  8. #27
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It seems extracurricular sexual activity has always been on the menu and you don't want to move out of his house so it seems to still be working. Perhaps redefine things if they suddenly bother you.
    Originally Posted by L0stInSpac3
    We both have the same interests, our sexual tastes are the same (a bit on the kinky side), and we’ve been very open about our desires in the bedroom and in life. He made other statements like. You fulfill me sexually... I’ve invited you into my home. We have a stellar time together, seldom fight, and our sex life is out of this planet.

  9. #28
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    it's normal)

  10. #29
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Why are you spamming the boards? 🐚🌜🤩🚪🔪🐊🤔🔥🥊🐭🙈🦄🙀🤖🤡🤢
    Originally Posted by Sisop
    it's normal)

  11. #30
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    Hi everyone, I have an update:

    Sadly my BF caved and fell into his old routine again. After months of clean behavior I noticed searched popping up on iCloud (I use our iPad which is synced) and while he’s out of town on business trips I saw he was searching for “massage + city”. I know on the surface that seemed benign but I started looking closer.

    He appeared to not go anywhere via his gps but only searched the first few trips, but recently his trips to Southern California his searches became more detailed, clicking on search results for Asian parlors. They seemed ok on the surface but I was able to dig a little more in review sites and these places offer “extras”, e.g., hand jobs.

    I noticed on the last two trips his GPS had stopped working and in a timely way that would be near these places. I was still able to uncover his General whereabouts by the GPS history in the iPhone and on googke.

    One time a specifically going from his work site and then making it convenient to stop by for the Palm Springs airport, a stop that only lasted about 38 minutes via google maps timeline, and right near an asian spa that also showed up in his web searches.

    And right now as I write this, he's on a work trip, has left me with his daughter to go do what he wants after work! I literally watched feeds come in as he drove to Bakersfield and finally gave in to search for escorts again (women, Ts and shemale)... He then searched table showers, body rubs in the area, etc. here I am juggling my own business and caring for his daughter while I literally via my phone watch him drive around Bakersfield, find a wellsfargo atm, then drive to an Asian spa, and is done in under 40 min.

    I tried to call and text but he had his phone off—he called me back right away when he got back to his fav fast food place and said he’s been eating.

    The next day the same thing but this time I wanted to see this for real. I hired an investigator and together I helped him tail my BF ... I now have video evidence of him leaving the same spa and after he said he was going to have dinner with his client (which he clearly did not), and blatantly lied to me as he drove to another Wells Fargo atm then, tried to turn off his phone further away from the parlor. The investigator showed me how he rushed from the spa and sped like an insane person to be closer to the hotel, but not without stopping by the same fast food place before finally going to the hotel. As the PI followed, my BF called me and said his dinner with his client was short and simple, and that he has been trying to call me but my phone keeps sending him to voicemail… Which is also totally not true. Just more lies!!

    I decided that this is it for me... I began packing up my things in the house and trying to do so in a way where his daughter doesn’t notice. This is going to be do hard to leave but I have to look out for me... I’m devastated bc I loved this man so much, but I clearly have fallen in love with someone who doesn’t exist. I discovered who he really was unfortunately.

    I will miss his daughter so much... she’s a great young lady, only 13 :(( I will miss my BF too mainly bc we’ve been friends for nearly a decade.

    I feel so heartbroken, but I guess I should’ve seen this coming.

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