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Thread: She called me "my dude". Hope lost?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member mustlovedogs's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by greendots
    You know what, in my experience, I've met people who address a lady with "sweetheart", "sugar", "honey", "doll" and so forth. It has no romantic connotations at all. But in the region they live, that's the norm. But when they use that lingo in regions where the norm is different, women would respond with a surprised look on their face as in "What the heck?!".

    So a bit more information in this case is important. Where are you guys from?
    It has never been used on me in any context other than presumption or condescension. North south east west. Iíve been all over the US.

  2. #12
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    Oh damn I am so happy I asked this. I normally just said it as a way of having fun/teasing (not even people that I like). We are from east Canada!

    I will never call anyone this anymore. I am sure tho that the girl won't be tooo upset about it. We still talk and call each other sometimes.
    I am more concerned about the dude part.

  3. #13
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    Originally Posted by greendots
    You know what, in my experience, I've met people who address a lady with "sweetheart", "sugar", "honey", "doll" and so forth. It has no romantic connotations at all. But in the region they live, that's the norm. But when they use that lingo in regions where the norm is different, women would respond with a surprised look on their face as in "What the heck?!".

    So a bit more information in this case is important. Where are you guys from?
    My gays and friends address me in this manner, but not someone who is interested in dating me. If you like this girl, then ask her out.

  4. #14
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    @HollyJ, we are friends for long now and I think we both think of us as friends. However, I asked her out once and we went for a walk and some coffee. Her friends obviously wanted to come when they heard that we would go out but we both didn't want them to come and went alone.

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  6. #15
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    Why don't you ask her on a proper date?

  7. #16
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    Originally Posted by mustlovedogs
    It has never been used on me in any context other than presumption or condescension. North south east west. Iíve been all over the US.
    Cool. In my experience it's a, depending on regions, British and Australian term of endearment that is used casually amongst strangers.


    Originally Posted by Phil11
    We are from east Canada!
    Yeah, I'm not sure if they use "sweetheart" as a term of endearment over there. I'm sure someone else will be more helpful. Anyhow, as Holly suggested, asking her out is the most straightforward way of finding out in what way she digs you.

    Wishing you the best!

  8. #17
    Gold Member LikeWater's Avatar
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    Hey, man. Decide what you want and pursue it. Don't bother trying to analyze and do complete guess work over a single term that may or may not mean anything. Do the opposite and trust your gut.

    Does it feel like she has any interest in you beyond being pals? Would you be okay with that were it not the case? If not, tell her you want more, that you really like her as more than a friend. You can waste so much time and energy on people sometimes going through all the cycles of hope, gratification, confusion, disappointment etc., or you can get your answer and be done with it. Trust me, the latter is the better option.

    But also trust your intuition and if it doesn't really feel like there's more there, there probably isn't. Based on the very, very limited information you gave, I would guess she sees you as a buddy.

  9. #18
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    Thanks for your help greendots!

    So, I feel like there could be more to it.
    And the thing I am trying to decide is whether to waste my time on her or not. I think she might know that I want more. I told her once that I don't think our friendship works out (we were cuddling, watching Netflix, etc... Everyday and she told a friend that she thinks of us as friends, she also recently broke up with her ex). She never said she doesn't like me but she said that she wants to keep me and not loose me. There is also a lot of stuff that she does that is unnormal if she would be a normal friend. I am feeling like she keeps me warm and wants to wait before committing.

  10. #19
    Gold Member LikeWater's Avatar
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    You're setting yourself up for one hell of a rollercoaster of emotions. You can take that ride if you wish but it usually doesn't end pleasantly. I know rejection is scary but it's a lot better than pretending to be okay with friendship while you really desire more the whole time. It just doesn't work.

  11. #20
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    If she just broke up with someone, then it doesn't matter. She is not ready to date.

    Give it some time and follow LikeWater's advice.

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