Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 5 of 5 FirstFirst ... 2345
Results 41 to 45 of 45

Thread: never met. meeting for first time potentially. is she interested?

  1. #41
    Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    48
    Originally Posted by Batya33
    Yes. Words. Watch the feet -what the person does -not the lips -and watch the feet after you meet in person. Not before unless the actions are making a plan to meet. Then you can expect if there is a time and place that a person will show up at the place at that time. No other expectations.
    hey do you think i could send u a copy of our convos?

  2. #42
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    49,714
    Originally Posted by lamo
    hey do you think i could send u a copy of our convos?
    No please don't - and as I wrote what she typed to you to me would have no relevance to whether she was interested in dating you. To me interest in dating is if after you meet in person the person wants to go on a date with you. What she typed to you would be relevant to her interest in perhaps having a chat buddy or flirting with a stranger online, or perhaps wanting to be platonic friends/penpals. You are asking about romantic interest based on what she typed to you.

  3. #43
    Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    48
    Originally Posted by Batya33
    No please don't - and as I wrote what she typed to you to me would have no relevance to whether she was interested in dating you. To me interest in dating is if after you meet in person the person wants to go on a date with you. What she typed to you would be relevant to her interest in perhaps having a chat buddy or flirting with a stranger online, or perhaps wanting to be platonic friends/penpals. You are asking about romantic interest based on what she typed to you.
    thank you for your response. i have read lots of stories of people doing what iv done in forums. a lot of people who meet for the first time iv read that they are already calling them significant others. and they are meeting by themseleves and not with a friend. and they have talked about sex beforehand and staying with each other .

    this was obviously not like that lol

  4. #44
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    2,074
    Originally Posted by lamo
    the thing i dont understand is at the beginning we were talking a lot. i didnt know she liked me until we were talking evevry day and she was saying romantic things about amazing i am and we were talking about past exes and how this would be the first time trying a long distance. she was like it can work with the right people. at the beginning she would initiate and id ask her flirty sexual stuff like " i cant wait to kiss you" etc and she would respond " you will have to wait and see in a few weeks if you want to".
    she would say she wants to dance with me and no other girl to dance with me in the club when we meet etc.

    something went wrong with her towards me 2 weeks before she flew in amd it cant be just cos she was busy moving to a one bed flat for herself. she got colder and when i would write her something she would just respond " i look forward seeing u ". her warmth and nice sweet texts saying she missed me all disappeared. she got ratty with me and still didnt make time to skype. i even asked her what is going on with us , i feel like its changed and you are distant with me and dont talk as much. she replied " really? im busy. no time to write. i look forward seeing u in london"
    and when i responded to that saying yes we barely talk like we used to she then snapped at me saying "What DO YOU WANT from me?!!!"

    when i asked her are we meant to write to each other every day or? she replied i dont know. like she didnt really care. as i was confused we were going from writing to each other every day to nothing really. i wanted to know what her expectations were and i didnt want to message her every day hassling her.
    can a girl help me understamd that mindset? maybe she saw a new pic of me on facebook that was ugly...? maybe she was not serious about me ever?

    even the weekend she was moving out and we had originally made plans to meet in berlin she could have invited me to her moving out weekend as she had a party.
    This is a pretty standard arc for encounters that don't lead to a relationship:

    1. meet
    2. express interest too loudly
    3. sudden cooling period

    The same story happens in person, but online there is even less visibility and so your level of trust should be much lower. Nah, she didn't find some other ugly picture of you. Stop trying to figure out what you did to turn her off. Either: She thought she was into you because you were a chatbox, or she was just having a bit of fun at your expense. In either case the fun wore off because fake relationships get old.

    Why would you take a stranger at their word when they say something like "I want you to dance with only me at the club". She doesn't even know you at that point! How does she know she'll even like dancing with you? It's ludicrous.

  5.  

  6. #45
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    49,714
    Originally Posted by lamo
    thank you for your response. i have read lots of stories of people doing what iv done in forums. a lot of people who meet for the first time iv read that they are already calling them significant others. and they are meeting by themseleves and not with a friend. and they have talked about sex beforehand and staying with each other .

    this was obviously not like that lol
    Of course -many people meet through on line sites. I met many great people that way, several of my friends met their spouses that way. My point is different -until you meet in person it's not a romantic relationship, until you meet in person typed words should trigger zero expectations of romantic interest or chemistry or compatibility for a romantic relationship (no, not because of looks -looks matter but that's the least of the reasons, to me).

    Many married people have sex the first time they meet ,too. I was referring to your expectations based on typed words as being unrealistic with respect to whether you two would ever go on a date much less have a romantic relationship with each other. That is why the typed word or typed conversations you had before meeting in person have no relevance to me as to whether she had a romantic interest in you of the type for an in person relationship. We've all had crushes on people we've never met/will never meet/might never meet. That to me has nothing to do with romantic relationships which to me can only happen if you meet and date/spend time together in person.

    Certainly people can be interested in having sex with someone they've never met, someone can be in love with a flower, too. Feelings are feelings. Feelings for someone that translate into a romantic relationship require in person contact. I'm not referring to interest in just meeting up to have intercourse -plenty of people meet people like that through on line apps. To me that purpose is not the same as meeting to see if you two should date.

Page 5 of 5 FirstFirst ... 2345

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •