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Thread: never met. meeting for first time potentially. is she interested?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    Maybe she's put on a lot of weight? Maybe she thought it was nice to chat with you online but doesn't want to meet and doesn't know how to tell you? Maybe she's talking to another guy besides you and likes him more? Maybe she already has a boyfriend and has lied to you.

    She is most definitely leading you on for some reason.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    Why are you wiling to spend all this money flying and staying in a hotel for an unknown? That's a really expensive way to date. When I did OLD, 9 out of 10 times when I met up with a guy, either one or both of us didn't feel chemistry, even though we'd seen each others photos and spoken on the phone. In a few cases, 2 or 3 dates happened, but sometimes the guy ended up being a jerk, and then I bailed. If I'd dated the way you did, I'd be out 30,000 dollars by now, because I had to meet up with about 30 guys before I found my future husband.

    Stick with local dating, so neither party has to eventually be ripped away from family and friends and a career if it happened to work out, which most LDRs don't.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Unfortunately, you're getting ahead of yourself. This entity does not want to make voice calls, video chat or have you visit/meet in person. It seems you're being catfished. If you want to tour other cities in Europe, finding free tour guides online is a real bad idea. Instead plan a trip with a friend and arrange your own itinerary. Both you and this catfish would be better off on bnb sites than doing this nonsense.
    Originally Posted by lamo
    i mentioned how i would love to visit berlin one day as i have never been and would be nice if she could show me around the city.

    last week after the skype fiasco i asked her about meeting together in berlin.
    i found hotels and flights and sent them to her

  4. #14
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    update : the last week we have been texting still. iv been asking questions trying to get to know about her. past relationships etc. shes been saying how i make her happy etc. her aunt was in a carcrash and i said id like to send flowers and she said i was cute and that i make her happy.

    but still no skype or phone call. i even said 10mins before u go sleep il call u in bed but she always has excuses. shes booked her flights to london she told me and says shes so excited to see me and promises she will like me. but why she not excited to speak on skype or phone call? i am excited to do so.
    i told her i have booked dinner in this nice amazing romantoc place and she said she is a romantic girl and that she hopes i romance her

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    You could be spending a lot of time being scammed or catfished.
    Originally Posted by lamo
    still no skype or phone call. i even said 10mins before u go sleep il call u in bed but she always has excuses.

  7. #16
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    You could be spending a lot of time being scammed or catfished.
    I predict you will never be able to talk to "her" on the phone, let alone meet in person.

  8. #17
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    Dude! Why on earth are you expending so much energy on what, at this point, is essentially only a fantasy?

    You've never met in person, or even spoken on phone, never experienced "reality" together so how could it be anything else but a fantasy?

    Look, I get it, fantasies can be quite powerful, evoke all sorts of intense emotions, but it's not real, it's based on a lot of unknowns, filling in the blanks and idealization.

    So it's important to keep all this in proper perspective. You've become way way too invested and laying on the pressure to meet really thick.

    Too too much and it's clear, despite her words, her actions suggest she does not appreciate it!

    I've had long distance on line interactions, during a time I was NOT looking for a serious relationship, and reading how much pressure you're putting on this girl to meet/Skype made me literally cringe.

    It's just one lame excuse after the other, but instead of heeding the warning and backing off, you keep going and going and going like the ever-ready bunny.

    Back off. Again, despite her words, she's sending you a very clear message through her actions (or in this case non-actions).

    She does not want to meet, nor Skype, nor talk on phone. Period, end of.

    Respect that and either seriously back off, or stop chatting/interacting with her altogether.

    Have you no other options locally? If not, get out in the real world and start cultivating them.

    This on line "interaction" is a no go.
    Last edited by katrina1980; 05-20-2019 at 10:54 AM.

  9. #18
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    we have had a 5 min convo a few weeks ago on the phone but was super hard to actually get to know her as she was in a festival so very loud.
    well yes surely i have to put pressure to want to meet cos thats what i want to do. i dont want to waste my time. also she is the one saying how she hopes i visit her when she moves to her one bed flat. shes the one saying how excited she wants to see me and if the weekend goes well i can fly over and stay longer with her. not sure what exactly im doing wrong? if the girl thought i was too much why is responding still in a postive manner saying all these things about wanting us to work etc?

    i have seen her tickets she is def coming. its not a catfish.

    i have been reading all threads on this website and people who have met for the first time they have stayed the the first nights together and not had a friend accompany them. is this the action of a girl who likes me and wants to sleep with me? am i wasting my time taking a 2 hour train from north england to london to visit her? also where would i stay? what about plans? im.not going to london and not spend the whole weekend with her. thats stupid no?

  10. #19
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    If she has time to go to a festival she has time to make time to have a proper conversation with you. She is not interested enough to put in the effort to meet you but she is happy to have the flattering attention. I think even if her aunt was injured it was way too much on your part to offer to send flowers -you're going to send flowers to the "aunt" of a stranger? Sure, give to a charity that helps people you will never meet but you have no idea if this woman has an aunt let alone one who was injured. I think you're not thinking clearly, this is some sort of challenge/thrill to you and you'll experience the reality when instead of "just" wasting precious time you waste $ actually booking flights/hotels/restaurants. I'd cut contact right now.

  11. #20
    Platinum Member Cope's Avatar
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    Even if she is genuine, although I have to admit, from her behavior it seems to me too that something's up, but let's say we're wrong. You did say that you have a mutual friend etc.

    Even if we're wrong, communication is obviously off. It's the basis for a relationship, more so when it's an LD. If you're just looking for a hookup, let her come, meet up, and go from there. I wouldn't look into this for anything serious. I've been in LDRs and they are simply not sustainable without Skype. To say the least.

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