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Thread: Should I tell her?

  1. #1

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    Should I tell her?

    hi I'm CJ, I'm 17 years old, and I have been deeply in love with my good friend ,a girl named Alaina, for a long time, but have never gotten the courage to tell her how I feel. But the thing is, She has a boyfriend, who makes her really happy. I've always had this problem where I fall for the girls I can never have. Also, in a few weeks is my school graduation, so there's also the pressure that I may never see her again. My mind has been constantly racing, thinking about what I should do. I've never really had a girlfriend before, despite the many times I've tried, and all I've ever wanted was to find love with a beautiful, kind, smart girl like alaina. What should I do? Do I hold my tongue and stay in the friendzone forever? Or do I go for broke and see what happens? Please help. Thank you.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Let her go and don't cause any trouble. If you do, you'll look back one day at yourself and you may be annoyed that you behaved so childishly, coming between two people who are happy. What's a bit alarming also is that you know she's happy but yet you're thinking about ruining her happiness just for your benefit. That doesn't seem right to me. If you think you can't handle the friendship, keep your distance and meet other women. Alaina may feel sorry for you or put up with your meddlesome ways if you choose to cause trouble but other women certainly won't have much patience for you or this type of behaviour if you learn to repeat it in the future.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    You probably dont want to hear this buy at 17 you havent even begun your life yet. You are on the edge of heading off to college or uni or getting a job, and beginning on working your way to an adult life. You will change so much in the next 5-10 years you will look back at who you were at 17 and say - wow, was that me? That desperate teenager who wanted a certain girl so badly? Your male brain doesnt fully mature til age 25 so you have a long ways to go. In the meantime, enjoy your life, your teen years, grow, do things, travel if it interests you, get an education, meet new people, male and female. At 17 you will probably have many girls in your future!

    Also, dont be telling Alaina how much you like her, because she already has a boyfriend.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Clio's Avatar
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    Don't tell her. She already has a boyfriend. Hitting on other people's partners is bad karma and all it can get you is girls who lack loyalty. Not seeing her again will help you.move on.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Ok, it' fine to have a crush on a girl. This one however has a bf, so that would just be awkward, embarrassing and cause trouble for yourself. Admire from afar, but find your own gf. If you are shy and therefore only getting crushes on unavailable girls, try some confidence and social skill building. Also focus on your studies, sports and interests. A great way to start meeting and talking to girls is to join some clubs, groups, etc that are coed. You'll have plenty of opportunities at college especially if you join a lot of social things and start being friendly and talking to girls.
    Originally Posted by Cjh13
    She has a boyfriend, who makes her really happy. I've always had this problem where I fall for the girls I can never have. I've never really had a girlfriend before.

  7. #6
    Member EclipseCross's Avatar
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    As you said - she already has a boyfriend, who makes her happy; if you really love her, you shouldn't say anything to her, because you will get her confused and probably she would tell her boyfriend and he would not be happy about this situation... If you say something to Alaina, you can lose her forever (even as a friend).
    You are just 17, this is just the beginning, keep holding on and some day you will meet the right girl for you.

  8. #7
    Silver Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    She has a boyfriend. She is spoken for and off limits.

    Move onto a girl who is unattached. Get a wake up call and be realistic.

  9. #8

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    Thank you all. You're all right, if I really love her I have to let her go. Plus, I'm only 17, maybe in the future I'll find the perfect girl for me. And I wish you people nothing but the best in whatever problems you have. Thank you all-CJ


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