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Thread: Weirded out by GF serial liking her Stepsister's Boyfriends FB Posts

  1. #1
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    Weirded out by GF serial liking her Stepsister's Boyfriends FB Posts

    A little background: My Gf met up her stepsister this past January in NYC and got to hang out for a day with her and her BF.

    A few days ago, I was just going through facebook bored at work. Checked out the stepsister's FB, she seemed nice and sweet. Saw her BF's FB and clicked on it. When looking through his posts, I couldn't help but notice nearly everything he posts had a "GF likes this post" next to it. For some reason a discussion we had before where she defended the argument sleeping with step siblings was not incest popped up in my head. Her step siblings are pretty attractive, don't know whether she thinks her stepbros are attractive but they are good looking.

    So when she went to do something and left her laptop open, I checked messenger on it and didn't see any bad messages. I did notice that messages were deleted in the past but whatever not going down that rabbit hole. So pressed for time, the next thing I did was just grab her activity feed of likes from the time my GF and the BF became friends and sent it to myself.

    ​ I figured maybe she just likes everyone's posts? No big deal then. So going through the log I found out she likes his stuff way more than anyone else. Like I observed earlier, it was nearly every post he made. A total of 17 since late January. When compared to her actual stepsister, she only liked 2 of hers. The kinda funny thing is that 1 of the 2 was just a selfie of her BF.

    So I went to my GF and asked why is she serial liking all his stuff? She says it just pops up on her feed and she likes and thinks nothing of it. Ok fair enough. However she didn't know I had the activity feed. You could clearly see several instances where it said she liked 3-4 of his things at the same time. Meaning she would deliberately go to his page and like multiple posts at the same time. I don't think someone's posts show up on the activity feed 3-4 in a row at a time? Most of the pictures being selfies. So then she started sending me screenshots of her activity log as proof but was being sneaky and cutting off the screenshots at certain parts showing serial likes.

    So I would ask her to show me the next few lines after what she cut off and she started actually editing her activity log then sending me the screenshot. I called her out on it basically saying "really you're going to start lying to me now about that"? I guess she didn't realize I already had her log. And she double downed and insisted there was no deleting "its called a snapshot".

    I don't think anythings going on. The BF is pretty active on FB with posts and likes on other's pages. I think maybe the BF either thinks its creepy or 'aww she has a crush on me'. He has liked or commented on exactly 0 of my GF's various posts.

    Am I in the wrong for pointing out this is weird and to moderate yourself? I think its ok to think someones attractive and to throw them likes. However the serial liking to me is weird. She has turned it around on me as being super insecure and "crazy". At this point won't even address the lying. So she stormed out of the house and is at her friend's place in another town. Pretty much saying its over because I'm too crazy, I'm insecure, and it means "nothing". She says she doesn't think when she does it and is just being supportive. "It just comes up in her feed", but isn't it being deceitful when the activity log proves she actually goes to his page to like multiple posts at the same time? So am I in need of mental help because this bothers me or is this legitimate to be weirded out by?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    I'm sorry but I couldn't read you being so paranoid and invading your g/f's privacy the way you have any longer so I'm just skipping the rest and posing a question or two for you.

    May I ask why you are so misstrusting, so paranoid, so creeping of who you love? Have you been cheated on in the past and you are jaded because of it or is it something else... like she has been acting shady and giving you reason to not trust her?

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    Originally Posted by ThatwasThen
    I'm sorry but I couldn't read you being so paranoid and invading your g/f's privacy the way you have any longer so I'm just skipping the rest and posing a question or two for you.

    May I ask why you are so misstrusting, so paranoid, so creeping of who you love? Have you been cheated on in the past and you are jaded because of it or is it something else... like she has been acting shady and giving you reason to not trust her?
    Thanks for your reply. To answer your question, I think it may stem from she not being fully broken up with her ex-BF before she was sleeping with me. I told myself I wouldn't be serious with her but I ended up falling for her. Been a little over 2 years now and in the middle of a huge commitment to the relationship in terms of finances and living situation. It was just a gut feeling that was gnawing at me to make sure everything was on the up and up. I'm not a controlling guy or anything like that, she regularly goes out at night to bars/clubs with her friends without me and I don't mind. I've never asked to see something in her phone except one time to see what a co worker said. More so to see how weird his message was. He had randomly called me giving a bs reason saying he 'accidentally invited her to dinner with a client' which she declined but never told me about. That one time I asked to check she couldn't find the message because she had deleted all her messages a couple weeks back. Her reason was legitimate even though it sounds bad. It was to free up space on her phone. Something was messed up with the phone storage to where she couldn't even have over a certain amount of apps.

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    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    So she cheated on her boyfriend with you and now you are having a hard time trusting that she won't do on you what she did with you. Any truth to that?

    Anyway, you aren't doing yourself any favors by creeping her and her friends list like you are. Either talk tell her that her attention to her step sister's boyfriend is freaking you out or let it go, stop snooping and enjoy your relationship. Snooping and not talking about what you found is just a futile exercise that will make you paranoid like you are. So paranoid that you had to start a thread about it.

    If there is no trust then you might as well break up now and save yourself the exercise in anxiety.

    Good luck.

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    Originally Posted by ThatwasThen
    So she cheated on her boyfriend with you and now you are having a hard time trusting that she won't do on you what she did with you. Any truth to that?.
    It's not something I obsess over but it's in the back of my mind.

    I've already did the step of saying it bothered me although she doesn't know I snooped persay (the likes are all publicly viewable). She freaked out and turned it around to me and how insecure I am and a baby etc. She left the house and says its over. So I guess my question to you is should I just apologize for even bringing it up and admit its all my own issues? Or should I dig in and ask for some compromise and understanding?

    PS thank you so much for taking the time to give your perspective. It's something I could never get from someone I know.

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    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Well, I wouldn't be happy with her defensiveness. It reeks of a guilty conscience to be honest. However: She has a bit of a point about your insecurity... however again: She has a history or cheating so its understandable.

    She said it was over and since you don't trust her, then what is the point of going on with someone that makes you do things like snoop and wonder?

    Or should I dig in and ask for some compromise and understanding?
    What would compromise be to you in this kind of situation?
    Last edited by ThatwasThen; 05-04-2019 at 06:14 PM.

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    Originally Posted by ThatwasThen
    Well, I wouldn't be happy with her defensiveness. It reeks of a guilty conscious to be honest. However: She has a bit of a point about your insecurity... however again: She has a history or cheating so its understandable.

    She said it was over and since you don't trust her, then what is the point of going on with someone that makes you do things like snoop and wonder?

    What would compromise be to you in this kind of situation?
    It would be to not favor his profile over others and to just cut down on liking everything that he's posted. I don't care about the random like but going to his page to specifically like multiple posts at a time bothers me. And honestly I wouldn't be bothered with the serial liking if she gave that much attention to everyone or at the very least her stepsister. (its the stepsister's bf). Since end of January shes liked 17 of his posts to 2 of her stepsisters. And of those 2 one was a selfie of the BF.

    I'm not deluded to think I can change her liking or having a crush. I understand things like that are natural but I thought it would be reasonable to request to be more moderated about it. It hurts my feelings having it in public that shes thinking of another guy. Then again am I just delusional to assume this is a situation of infatuation or crush? Is there a good chance this is just all meaningless and platonic and I'm overreacting?

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    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    She's told you its over so I guess its all moot now. Its up to you if you want to try and get her to change her mind but if I was that worried about someone's actions and when I tried to talk to them about the way those actions made me feel and they dismissed me like that without offering a solution that we both could live with, I'd think twice about dating them further. Up to you what you do though.

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    Originally Posted by ThatwasThen
    She's told you its over so I guess its all moot now. Its up to you if you want to try and get her to change her mind but if I was that worried about someone's actions and when I tried to talk to them about the way those actions made me feel and they dismissed me like that without offering a solution that we both could live with, I'd think twice about dating them further. Up to you what you do though.
    TY that really simplifies things for me.

  11. #10
    Gold Member smackie9's Avatar
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    I keep thinking, how sick/heart broken I would feel if I found out my BF was monitoring my social media, watching my every move. You have gone way too far...time to breakup with her.

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