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Thread: Am I being silly

  1. #11
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    Neither a borrower or lender be - no idea who said that but it's true. Dont loan money, dont borrow money. Your friend is no friend.

    I didnt follow my own advice and loaned a friend $100 for her sick cat, who truly was sick, and she promised to pay me back in a month. That was about 5 years ago now and I never got the money back. With friends like that you dont need enemies.

  2. #12
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    That's your codependency speaking.

    Codependents will do things others ask of them even if it's to their own detriment. Their greatest fear is someone getting "mad" at them and withdrawing love or friendship.

    But someone like that is no friend.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    She's pretty cheeky!

    Darn lucky you loaned her the money in the first place, and yes, you had every right to ask for it back, even if it was a week later.

    But the fact that she kept on about how you had no right to ask and so on, I would end that friendship.

    Sorry, but she's a bad friend.

  4. #14
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    Wow! She is something else. Guilt tripping you for wanting YOUR money back! She is a piece of work.
    I cannot believe that you apologized. If you were smart, you would never speak to her again. You need a better class of friends!!

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Excellent! Now reflect and consider why you want a friend/person like this in your life. Why is she chronically this broke and entitled?
    Originally Posted by Amanda77
    she will never lend from me again !

  7. #16
    Bronze Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    No, you're not being silly. However, consider this lending to your friend, a harsh, hard lesson learned. Never lend money to anyone other than your son, of course and it shouldn't be more than you can afford to lose.

    Money and friends NEVER mix. Remember that. Friendships are ruined due to money lending, borrowing and the like and it's money you'll never see again. It's as if you gave away free money. Live and learn.

    Cease the money topic with your friend. 20.00 is gone forever. Learn from your mistakes, don't repeat the same unwise decisions and you'll know better in the future. You'll learn about people, human nature and life as you live it.

    Stop apologizing and badgering your friend for 20.00. It's gone. Learn from this negative experience and become wiser from this day forward. I'm sorry for your harsh reality check. We all learn from bad pasts.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    I loan small amounts of money to friends on the job here and there. In the privacy of my mind I consider it a gift, so I make a point of saying NOTHING about when or if it's ever paid back. If they insist on voicing a deadline for repayment, I just say, "Okay." Then I forget about it. I'm surprised when the person stops by to return the money, but my only response is, "My pleasure."

    It makes no sense to lend money you cannot afford to lose. That only turns the friendship all about when the money is repaid. I'd skip that. If I don't have the money to lend, I just say, "Sorry, I'm not carrying that at the moment." Boom, done. If I do have it, then I decide whether I want to part with it permanently, or not. If so, I 'give' it, but then that means the friendship is worth enough to me to part with the cash without another word or thought of it again.

    Never tell someone that paying you back is no issue only to make it one. Decide whether this friend has been valuable enough to you over time, and if so, ask her how you can make this up to her. If not, then this is her loss, but you've made an enemy by positioning yourself badly and saying one thing while behaving out of line with that.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    I have a feeling that had the OP told this 'friend' that she didn't have the money, the 'friend' would be just as angry at her as she is for being asked to pay it back.

    I believe that people who who don't intend on paying their lender back should say "can you GIVE me $20.00" instead of "Can I BORROW $20.00?"

    I agree though that if you are going to lend out money, then you should only do so if you don't need or expect to get it back.

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