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Thread: Subtle signs of attention?

  1. #11
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    Originally Posted by Andrina
    It's best for closure and for future romantic prospects if you delete your ex on social media. If you don't, it'll take longer to move on, and a new love interest might walk away if you're still "friends" with an ex. Most women think long and hard before breaking up with someone, knowing it will likely be a permanent break. Why stay with someone who didn't care enough to stay and work it out, versus bailing?

    The right woman for you will never leave you. Not even once. You're too close to the situation right now. Distance and time will do wonders for you. Spend time with friends, hobbies, etc. and you'll get to a good place of healing and moving on.
    Yes, what Andrina said above.

  2. #12
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    Originally Posted by Hutchypro
    Yep, probably. It's not great, I admit I still love her heaps. I can't bare to think of her with someone else but their is nithing I can do? She won't reply to me and ignored me so I don't see any more options.
    I'm sure that you still love her but it's not reciprocated, unfortunately. Seriously, you don't need to put up with the likes of her, OP. Please, get some self respect, delete her from social media, do not have any contact with her and move on. Yes, it hurts a lot but why stay with someone who is not interested in you (sorry)?

  3. #13
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    Originally Posted by goddess
    I'm sure that you still love her but it's not reciprocated, unfortunately. Seriously, you don't need to put up with the likes of her, OP. Please, get some self respect, delete her from social media, do not have any contact with her and move on. Yes, it hurts a lot but why stay with someone who is not interested in you (sorry)?
    Yes I understand, I'm working hard to build up my confidence again after all this. The months of trying and trying to work things out single handily have given me a bashing. I didn't realise at the time but it has took its toll on me mentally. Looking back I was treated not very nicely at the end. I don't necessarily blame her, as the guy I should of maybe took the reigns realised what was happening fully and ended it there and then. But love does crazy things to you! Thanks for your honest reply, I do appreciate it, sometimes you get stuck in your own head it's difficult to see what is right and what is wrong.

  4. #14
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    Originally Posted by Hutchypro
    Yes I understand, I'm working hard to build up my confidence again after all this. The months of trying and trying to work things out single handily have given me a bashing. I didn't realise at the time but it has took its toll on me mentally. Looking back I was treated not very nicely at the end. I don't necessarily blame her, as the guy I should of maybe took the reigns realised what was happening fully and ended it there and then. But love does crazy things to you! Thanks for your honest reply, I do appreciate it, sometimes you get stuck in your own head it's difficult to see what is right and what is wrong.
    "sometimes you get stuck in your own head it's difficult to see what is right and what is wrong." I get it. Love certainly does crazy thingd to you, but it's one sided, then it just won't work. Don't push the issue, just learn from it and move on. I wish you all the best.

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  6. #15
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    Originally Posted by goddess
    "sometimes you get stuck in your own head it's difficult to see what is right and what is wrong." I get it. Love certainly does crazy thingd to you, but it's one sided, then it just won't work. Don't push the issue, just learn from it and move on. I wish you all the best.
    Thankyou. I won't push it. I just don't understand why she ignored me after all the time we spent together and relationship we built. I guess it's because I never had real closure that I'm thinking like this. Never mind, time heals everything.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Hutchypro
    Thankyou. I won't push it. I just don't understand why she ignored me after all the time we spent together and relationship we built.
    Cutting all contact is how people make a 'clean' break. You can opt to hurt yourself more by viewing it as cruel, or you can adopt the assumption that the purpose is to allow you to heal and move forward.

    I've never found it to be helpful to assume cruelty about an ex or to try to squelch all hope. That just creates a knee-jerk spin of denial that isn't useful for healing. So I opt for a gentler approach: I relax into trusting that if ex and I were ever a meant-to-be deal, then our paths will cross someday when we're both on higher ground, but in the meantime, higher ground is a place that we'll both need to reach on our own.

    This motivates me to move my focus forward toward reaching my own private goals. That's the opposite of stalking ex's social media. I focus instead on my own growth through new interests and friendships, through reinvesting in my relationships with the friends and loved ones who I'd neglected during my preoccupation with the relationship. These investments help to ground me and 'normalize' my new focus, which eventually translates into inspiration.

    This is your percentage play. It serves you both ways. Nobody's interested in returning to an ex who has stagnated while hovering over social media--that's sad. If reconciliation in the future is ever possible, it will be between two people with a shared loving history but who have BOTH grown and matured into capabilities for a new and successful relationship. Yet, if reconciliation never occurs, you will have invested in your own healing for the purpose of finding a better relationship for yourself someday.

    I guess it's because I never had real closure that I'm thinking like this.
    Closure is for the movies. It's rare enough to safely say that few of us ever receive it from an ex. Most of us have had our heart broken, and we've each needed to adopt assumptions that work best for us to create our OWN closure.

    No matter how you slice it, avoiding stagnation is a win/win. I'd make it a private goal to surprise everyone, including myself, with my resilience and my ability to bounce back from this to create a fabulous future for myself. Regardless of whether this ends up prompting enough curiosity and respect from the ex for her to consider reconciling or not, it serves your best interests, and you will thank yourself later.

    Head high, your can do this.

  8. #17
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    Thanks catfeeder. I'm feeling better now that I was a few days ago. Time is a great healer. I'm trying my gets to move forward for me. I really don't have the urge to get into another rlsstionship yet. I want some time for myself. Like you say if it's meant to be it will be but judging by everyone's comments, she was long gone ages ago. I'm probably just a distant memory for her now. Which is fine. Onwards and upwards.

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