I [M] keep messing up and I don't know how (and if) to continue

A couple of weeks ago I made a post here about a female colleague. Well I still haven't asked her out.

Yesterday we went to the bar with a couple of colleagues (including her) and it was all good except that she was being kind of mean to me. It happened after a colleague mentioned that I'm on Tinder and asked how that was going. Maybe I'm overthinking this, but this was the first mess up

After the bar we went to the club. Throughout the hour that we were there, she had multiple guys that approached her and she talked with them. I didn't do anything about this, because I honestly didn't know what to do. This is the second mess up.

I honestly don't know what to do anymore. Seeking any contact now (through text) seems awkward because that's what I should have done yesterday night. She probably isn't in to me, but how should I continue? Should I even continue?

Edit: her being a colleague doesn't really matter since we're both interns and we both don't want to work at the firm later on.

If you are not making any moves, then I do not understand what you want from us? We all gave you suggestions.

We can't ask her out for you.

If you are not making any moves, then I do not understand what you want from us? We all gave you suggestions.

 

We can't ask her out for you.

Yes and I appreciate the suggestions. I was stupid enough to wait till we went out again, that's my bad.

Asking her out now seems like a bad idea, but I do think that I need to keep in touch, but yeah, I'm not sure. That is where I need help with.

You did right by not doing anything when she was being approached by other guys. That is how you keep your value. Do not show weakness!

Just my opinion....I don't think you are missing out. If it is true she is upset at you for being on a dating site, then you dodged a bullet. You don't need that kind of bs.

What did she say when the Tinder thing came up?

You did right by not doing anything when she was being approached by other guys. That is how you keep your value. Do not show weakness!

Just my opinion....I don't think you are missing out. If it is true she is upset at you for being on a dating site, then you dodged a bullet. You don't need that kind of bs.

I'm not sure she was upset with me for that. But she treated me differently yesterday. For example; We both tease each other a lot with funny things we know about each other. Yesterday though, when I teased her, her response was very short and kind of angry.

What did she say when the Tinder thing came up?

She asked why I was on there and if I had matches/chats with people.

I'm not sure she was upset with me for that. But she treated me differently yesterday. For example; We both tease each other a lot with funny things we know about each other. Yesterday though, when I teased her, her response was very short and kind of angry.

 

 

 

 

She asked why I was on there and if I had matches/chats with people.

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I'm not sure she was upset with me for that. But she treated me differently yesterday. For example; We both tease each other a lot with funny things we know about each other. Yesterday though, when I teased her, her response was very short and kind of angry.

Yikes! I don't think you are seeing things. Well hopefully things will die down. maybe she's upset you haven't even bothered to ask her out. Might be too late.

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I'm not following?

Yikes! I don't think you are seeing things. Well hopefully things will die down. maybe she's upset you haven't even bothered to ask her out. Might be too late.

Yeah that's what I thought. Should I reach out to her? Or just let it rest till I see her again?

If you two aren't mutually exclusive she has absolutely no right to be upset that you're on a dating site. So I wouldn't say you messed up there. As for continue, I would shoot her a message and gauge how she reacts. If she's still being petty and refusing to talk to you/being mean to you, then it sounds like you've dodged a bullet with this one.

If you two aren't mutually exclusive she has absolutely no right to be upset that you're on a dating site. So I wouldn't say you messed up there. As for continue, I would shoot her a message and gauge how she reacts. If she's still being petty and refusing to talk to you/being mean to you, then it sounds like you've dodged a bullet with this one.

Not 100% sure if that was what she was upset about. I'm not really feeling confident to message her after seeing her talk/flirt with other guys at the club (although they approached her).

Since you have something in common, try connecting on social media. As far as bars, clubs, the cold approach doesn't seem to work here. Especially since you haven't asked her out in less pressured situations. Or try a casual lunch coffee to break the ice. You need to talk to girls first before jumping in with bar/club pickups.

I still haven't asked her out. After the bar we went to the club. Throughout the hour that we were there, she had multiple guys that approached her and she talked with them. I didn't do anything about this, because I honestly didn't know what to do.

Since you have something in common, try connecting on social media. As far as bars, clubs, the cold approach doesn't seem to work here. Especially since you haven't asked her out in less pressured situations. Or try a casual lunch coffee to break the ice. You need to talk to girls first before jumping in with bar/club pickups.

I've talked to her, a lot. I've even been together in her house (see previous post).