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Thread: I cheated my long term girlfriend and impregnated another girl.

  1. #21
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    I think that you are too selfish for a relationship, and that you do not love or value your gf. Do her a favor and break up with her. She deserves much better.

    I have not been cheated on, but know friends who have. They never trusted their partner again, nor did they ever get over the pain of the betrayal. I cannot imagine how they would have felt if a baby had been brought into the mix. The pain that you have brought, is really unforgivable.

  2. #22
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    That was a despicable thing to do to your gf. And, you didn't even have the decency to use birth control. So, not only did you cheat, which is terrible in of itself, but you got her pregnant. Double whammy!! What were you thinking? You should tell her; at least have the decency to be honest. She deserves better than you. I cannot image the pain and humiliation you will cause her. Shame on you.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member Carus's Avatar
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    You probably knew that you'd get roasted on here when you started this thread. Many posters do reply based on their own emotions and reactions to something they read....

    However, moving forward:
    Originally Posted by SpiritInLove
    I doubt a family with the lover will work.. sheís far away in her home country now and probably wont come back
    Also i will have to do a dna test... although i believe 99% is my child
    I doubt it would work too and not just coz she's far away....As far as the DNA test goes, probably worth having. If she was willing to carry on this affair with you don't fool yourself that she couldn't do it to you either...just saying.

    Also, has she stated what she wants from you as far as this baby is concerned?
    Originally Posted by SpiritInLove
    .. and this was big lesson for me; i have no excuses - Iíve been infatuated with the lover for too long and i was even thinking i love 2 women
    I do hope this will serve as a mighty life lesson yes...Lots of pain to get through yet though.

    Perhaps you were in 'love' with 2 women. Happens often. There's polyamorous relationships and some cultures have several wives....However the difference is they're all out in the open and honest about it. Not lying and deceiving anyone.
    Originally Posted by SpiritInLove
    Its few months to go now.. and i dont know how to tell her and Iím also scared of her reaction
    Yep. In some countries you could expect to lose your nuts while you sleep...!

    Still, you're going to have to rip the bandaid off and get this done asap. Or do you truly think you'll be able to just not say anything and it will all just float away down a glassy stream?

    Do you and GF live together?

    I would make sure she has a good support system ready coz she's gonna need it. Perhaps having one of her good friends there when you tell her might be good.

    I've had couples come to my clinic to break news to their partners with a counselor present.

    Once done you're going to have to give her all the time and space she needs to process and heal from this.

    Now put on your big boy pants and get in there and do it.

    Carus*

  4. #24
    Platinum Member Butterfly~Wrists's Avatar
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    I'm going to go against the grain here and say I think you should get std checked. If it comes back clear break up with your girlfriend and don't tell her you cheated, it will destroy her self confidence and she'll struggle to trust in future relationships. If it comes back positive then you have to tell her everything and let her go. It's selfish wanting to keep her!

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  6. #25
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    Originally Posted by Butterfly~Wrists
    I'm going to go against the grain here and say I think you should get std checked. If it comes back clear break up with your girlfriend and don't tell her you cheated, it will destroy her self confidence and she'll struggle to trust in future relationships. If it comes back positive then you have to tell her everything and let her go. It's selfish wanting to keep her!
    kinda depends on what he wants to do, right?
    Does he want to stay with the girlfriend, or leave to go be with the other woman?
    Now there is a child involved.Adds a whole new layer.

  7. #26
    Platinum Member Butterfly~Wrists's Avatar
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    It doesn't matter what he wants. Their relationship is irreparable. If he cared about her at all he wouldn't have cheated, let alone had a prolonged affair. I just think the muddy thing to do is, if there's no std's to leave the relationship. She will never trust anyone again street a two year betrayal.

  8. #27
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    You break up with your girlfriend so that she can find a non cheating man that doesn't impregnate his mistresses and doesn't put her health at risk without her consent. Then you take responsibility for your son/daughter. You can't have your cake and eat it too and you have to deal with the consequences of your actions.

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