Is it true that if a man is interested he will make an effort?

This guy I went to highschool with dmed me in response to one of my instagram stories about banking as we are both in the same industry. We ended up talking for hours. At the end he was the last to text something but it wasn’t really something to answer and it was super late. Ever since he hasn’t messaged again... I want to talk to him but have the mentality that if a guy is interested he will pursue. Any thoughts on that statement ?? Should I initiate another conversation?

Did the conversation not at all suggest or hint at getting a coffee or meeting up again at some point? I wouldn't overthink it. It's too early to read into anything especially if he's just an instagram person from highschool and you haven't seen each other since highschool. Just text him hi and ask him how he's doing this week. See where your conversations go.

Everyone makes an effort when interested.

Male or female.

Was the conversation just about banking?

Or any personal chat?

Are you interested in him?

Do you want him to be interested in you and why?

I normally take the stance that it's like a tennis match, if he initiated the first time then next time it's your turn, then his and so on.

Both women and men like to be pursued.

Try contacting him to see how he's doing and see where it goes from there.

I normally take the stance that it's like a tennis match, if he initiated the first time then next time it's your turn, then his and so on.

 

Both women and men like to be pursued.

 

Try contacting him to see how he's doing and see where it goes from there.

Good analogy! Lol

I’m just unsure whether a tennis match ever started!?

Sounds like classmates catching up but not an interest in dating. Treat it as such and you'll feel fine. That is why after the catch up and chitchat he never messaged again. Consider dating apps and it will be clearer that the purpose of contact/messaging is in order to meet/date.

This guy I went to highschool with dmed me in response to one of my instagram stories about banking as we are both in the same industry. We ended up talking for hours.

@ Billie, yes, it would be good to know if there had been some spark between them or if OP could tell that he was flirting or wanting to talk more than just catching up with an old friend.

Hard to say.

Were you able to tell, OP?

Well, if you talked for 'hours,' it's likely that you discussed topics other than banking. What else did you talk about?

Yes ! Definitely a spark, the conversation started about banking and school but he branched into other topics quickly. He’s always been a very quiet, studious guy. He was throwing me a lot of compliments but there was no concrete mention of plans Of any sort... Not sure whether I should take initiative and message him as suggested by many of you guys! The reason is it’s not very much in my nature. We’re both very similar in the sense that we’re both shy and quiet.

Wait a few days and then message him about something you talked about earlier. See if he bites.

Yes ! Definitely a spark, the conversation started about banking and school but he branched into other topics quickly. He’s always been a very quiet, studious guy. He was throwing me a lot of compliments but there was no concrete mention of plans Of any sort... Not sure whether I should take initiative and message him as suggested by many of you guys! The reason is it’s not very much in my nature. We’re both very similar in the sense that we’re both shy and quiet.

What's to lose, exactly? You can either cement yourself into behaviors that you believe are 'in your nature' or you can take some risks for potential gain. Nobody here can predict how another will respond to your interest, but if you keep it hidden, then there you are--alone with it.

You are both shy and quiet? this will never get off the ground.

No, it's not always true that he'll make the effort, or maybe it's that he won't make the effort that you're looking out for. The conversation you just had may have been his effort. He may be leaving that tennis ball in your court. the earlier commenter had the right idea about that back and forth thing. No one likes to think they're the only one making a gesture (and possibly doing it for someone who's uninterested) As a guy i'd say, if he sent you lots of compliments, he's interested. I can tell you I rarely compliment a girl unless I'm interested, much less do it a lot. You said yourself there was a spark, so i'm sure you're not hallucinating it. Being the quiet studious type as you described, he may be shy, so i'd say reinitiate conversation. I wouldn't even wait a few days as suggested, maybe just a day. Strike while the iron is hot. you don't need him to initiate plans to know if he's down, if he's the type that needs a nudge of encouragement, you starting a convo could be that encouragement, so could throwing a couple mild compliments his way in return, who knows. If he's shy and you know it, and you want to pursue it, you might just have to pick up a little of his slack at first whether you'd like to or not.

Do you know for a fact he is single?

It's too early to tell. A lot of times, friendship comes first if it's to proceed further.

If he trailed off and hasn't messaged again, wait a few days and message him. If it's obvious that he's uninterested, then take a hint and consider him history.

Or, you can try to establish friendship first and see where it takes you. Interest should be about friendship and getting to know a person first and to be fair, he should get to know you, too which takes a long time. This is opposed to thinking about plunging into a relationship. Take baby steps because friendships which evolve into relationships tend to be more enduring. Too many couples dive into relationships first without discovering each others character and personalities. It's really said whenever couples observe warts later, end up fighting and breaking up. Really get to know a person first and it's ok to be wary and cautious especially in the beginning when you don't know them well yet.

It could depend on a few things. For example, do you live near each other? Do either of you have a gf/bf, live with someone? Are either of you separated, recently divorced, married? What inspired him to suddenly reach out?

Try connecting with him on LinkedIn. Since you share an education venue as well as an industry it would not be awkward in the case that it's just a "hello' type of contact. "Texting for hours" could be so many things it's hard to say if there is a romantic interest. Is that what you are hoping for or are you just curious as to his intentions?

I mean, my friend and I message one another for hours. But he's gay and married to a man.

I like the LinkedIn idea.