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Thread: Am I selfish because I'm not gluten free

  1. #21
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    I have t2 diabetes so going back to an earlier comment that if a person has diabetes should everyone in the same house avoid sugar? No. My husband doesnt have it, I would not tell him he cant have some cake or pie or cookies if he wants. I buy my own sugar free jam and ice cream on occasion, he has typical sugared things when he wants them. He is mindful of my diabetes and doesnt undermine me and I dont expect him to eat like I do.

    I think the OP's wife is out of line being so controlling about gluten if the OP can eat it. What he puts in his mouth is his issue, what he eats when he's out of the house is his issue. Surely at 14 the daughter is old enough to understand if dad can eat gluten or not. I think the wife has issues that go beyond gluten.

  2. #22
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    I don't think you're selfish at all. Gluten itself isn't bad for people (who don't have celiacs or an intolerance), but there is this trend that gluten free means it's healthier not to have it. For a lot of people, gluten is actually an important part of their diet and health.

    I am vegan but my boyfriend is a huge meat eater. I would never impose my food lifestyle on him and vice versa. When he goes to kiss me, I don't freak out and make him brush his teeth or make a nasty facial expression. It's his body and his life and I have no right to put limits on him.
    I am also allergic to chilli, but there is no requirement in our relationship that because I can't have chilli then he can't have chilli either. Heck, he can eat chilli right next to me for all I care, as long as chilli doesn't come into contact with me, all is good.

    Your wife is being unreasonable, selfish, controlling, and disrespectful. As long as you are mindful of the situation when you eat gluten (whether anyone is at risk of having a reaction due to direct contact with it), then you should be able to have what you like. Plus, it's not actually that easy to have cross-contamination with gluten if you're having it near them.

    Your wife needs to grow up.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Just stop making it a tug-of-war. You already maintain a gluten free household so that should suffice. At least act concerned for your daughter's health issues. As far as your wife playing eating police when you are not at home, that is a bit strange. Family therapy would do a world of good rather than this cat and mouse game and playing the defiant teenager who "sneaks" beer/food or chronically debating who's right/who's wrong etc.
    Originally Posted by DerekM
    its not like I eat gluten and drink beer around them. I'm 100% gluten free at home.

  4. #24
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Just stop making it a tug-of-war. You already maintain a gluten free household so that should suffice. At least act concerned for your daughter's health issues. As far as your wife playing eating police when you are not at home, that is a bit strange. Family therapy would do a world of good rather than this cat and mouse game and playing the defiant teenager who "sneaks" beer/food or chronically debating who's right/who's wrong etc.
    I don't think family therapy is needed. An adult, calm family meeting might very well do the trick. Or several.

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  6. #25
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    Oh this is such a frustrating post to read and I can’t believe it’s been turned on the op to question his health and consider therapy? Just because he enjoys a beer and a packet of crisps!

    The 14 year old daughter has been put on a gluten free diet based on no medical indication that she should be! Only because the mother believes it’s in her best interest!
    She is NOT coeliac and neither is her mother.

    I wonder do people realise that when you buy minced beef from the supermarket , that it contains gluten?
    People expect certain foods to contain gluten and seek the gluten free alternative such as bread.

    There is so much ignorance surrounding food “intolerances” and what people think is beneficial or not.

    The only reason someone should consider their choice in food is when another has an actual allergy that induces an anaphylactic response which is life threatening.

  7. #26
    Silver Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    I had lunch once with someone who was supposedly 'gluten intolerant.' She ordered a salad with no croutons. Well, when the salad came it had 6 large croutons on it. Instead of just picking the danged croutons off, she made a big scene about how she can't eat gluten and sent the salad back.

    As I said earlier, for many people, it's a trendy fad to be gluten intolerant.

    Also, I'm a type 1 diabetic. When I order a burger out, I order it without the bun. If they forget and put it on a bun, I just don't eat the bun. I don't make everyone else at the table feel guilty for eating bread.

  8. #27
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    Originally Posted by SarahLancaster
    I had lunch once with someone who was supposedly 'gluten intolerant.' She ordered a salad with no croutons. Well, when the salad came it had 6 large croutons on it. Instead of just picking the danged croutons off, she made a big scene about how she can't eat gluten and sent the salad back.

    As I said earlier, for many people, it's a trendy fad to be gluten intolerant.

    Also, I'm a type 1 diabetic. When I order a burger out, I order it without the bun. If they forget and put it on a bun, I just don't eat the bun. I don't make everyone else at the table feel guilty for eating bread.
    A coeliac sufferer would just pick the croutons off!
    Because coeliacs are truly allergic but not anaphylactic.

    If someone actually had anaphylactic allergy to something they wouldn’t simply ask to omit the peanuts or whatever, they would make it VERY clear to the waiter/waitress.

  9. #28
    Silver Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    Are there any cases of people having anaphylactic shock from eating gluten?

  10. #29
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by SarahLancaster
    Are there any cases of people having anaphylactic shock from eating gluten?
    I highly doubt it. CD isn't actually an allergy to gluten. It's an autoimmune disorder whereby your body attacks the small intestine as a response to gluten. I'd imagine it's possible if you've got an actual wheat allergy (which I suppose technically isn't a response to gluten itself), which is why I highly doubt the wife 1) required emergency services simply for gluten consumption and 2) was issued any sort of test that "confirmed" a gluten "intolerance." It's difficult to even give her the benefit of misinterpreting a wheat allergy diagnosis as she'd be told in no uncertain terms she has a wheat allergy due to the much more severe reaction it would induce.

    At least by the account given, the wife appears to have zero idea of what she's talking about and has likely spent a bit too much time on mommyhealthnews.com, and even trying to play devil's advocate for her sake, there's not much I can favorably spin. My concern at this point is much less the fact the OP lacks a backbone and much more whether the mother has pathologically brainwashed her daughter in an abusively tangible way with her obsession with psuedoscience. I'm fine with adults bending over backwards for whatever diet they want or need. Not so much when it comes to children. At least not in this matter. I'd have a lot more respect for it if she were simply saying, "There's no gluten for dinner because I'm not cooking anything with it, and that's that." My mom felt bad just when I let her know I tried cranberry juice and ended up fine when she was convinced I was allergic to it as a kid (I didn't care). She'd be mortified if it'd been half the grocery store she raised me to falsely believe I had to avoid.

    I don't think the entire household needs to be gluten-free, but I do think family therapy is a good idea... with an actual, licensed clinical therapist, not some holistic spirit coach it's sounding like the wife would pick out. If the hypothetical I outlined is true, I think it's something that can manifest itself in far worse ways, as bad as I think it could be right now. That should be fleshed out. Or if it turns out the husband really is a scumbag willing to completely misrepresent his wife and daughter on the internet just for kicks, it could work to address that effect as well.
    Last edited by j.man; 05-04-2019 at 09:39 AM.

  11. #30
    Gold Member smackie9's Avatar
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    Dude, there's gluten free beer....it's in the craft beer section.

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