Seeking advice

Hi All, I trying to seek ur serious Opinion on one issue we had at home between me n wife.

I was over the phone talking to my mom regarding my fathers health who had vomitted and ailing from livercyrosis, was on Speaker phone n was about to hangup the call in a minute or two..My wife was listening to this conversation interrupts n ask me to take medic

ine, as she wanted to make breakfast.the tablet should be taken 30 mins before breakfast.

Now I was talking about a serious topic regarding my dads health which is important to me n she Instead of waiting for the call to be over, interrupts to take medicine.

Hearing this i reacted, over the phone stating okay I have to end the call, as i have to take medicine.

My wife didnt like this reaction because she interrupted for my benefit.

My Argument is that she should have waited to finish my call as i was preparing to hangup or she could hav got me the medicine n water while I was on the phone, instead of giving me a task to have medicine.which means i had to getup take the tablet n water.

Her arugement is that she told it for my benefit and atleast I should have the courtesy to say sorry for reacting.

Did I do anything wrong?

I think you overreacted.

Aren’t all phones cordless nowadays? Why does she need to bring you your medicine?

I think that your reaction and deciding to get off the phone right then was probably much more disruptive than simply asking you to take your medicine.

... and, I mean... she was making you breakfast. That was very nice. You should be grateful.

Unless there is more to the story where you generally feel she tries to keep you from your parents or something - or she has a constant habit of interrupting or something... I don’t know why this was even an argument.

Did you thank her for making your breakfast?

If one of you was wrong, it probably wasn't her. She was making you breakfast, she cared about your health (wanted you to take the medicine) and she didn't ask you to hang up, she just reminded you to take the meds, because she probably didn't know when you would hang up. Or, if she knew that conversation was coming to an end, perhaps, she meant to remind you to take the meds after that.

I don't want to jump to conclusions, because I don't know your situation at all, but it makes you seem entitled to be asking of her to cook for you, get you meds, and know exactly when to bother you with her reminders, whose sole purpose is to keep you healthy.

The silver lining here is that you are on this forum asking for opinions. I hope you're open to the possibility that you were wrong, and aren't simply looking for an ego stroke.

Please, appreciate your wife and what she does for you. You don't have to end a phone conversation if you have to step away for half a minute.

I'd wonder why she wouldn't have waited too if I was in your place. Seems a bit impatient of her and thoughtless. Apart from the basic information you provided, we don't really know much about your medicine taking routine or habits. If you have a habit of forgetting them, she's really doing you a favour. If you don't like it, put an alarm on your phone next time and figure out your own medicines before you do any other business. I hope your dad is okay, by the way. I'm sorry to hear that.

Thanks for the reply..I didnt mean she has to bring the me the medicine..rather..instead of interrupting..it would have been nice for her to bring the medicine if it was her priority at that time rather than telling me to take the medicine..shouldnt she consider my topic of discussion, which was dads vomiting? Especially when he has liver disorder where blood comes out and the Platlets level are too low. So shouldnt we prioritise and speak at the right time? Doesnt it look like she doesnt care what we r discussing even if she didnt have that intention.

I am not questioning u..just for clarity where my concern comes from

Thanks for the reply..I didnt mean she has to bring the me the medicine..rather..instead of interrupting..it would have been nice for her to bring the medicine if it was her priority at that time rather than telling me to take the medicine..shouldnt she consider my topic of discussion, which was dads vomiting? Especially when he has liver disorder where blood comes out and the Platlets level are too low. So shouldnt we prioritise and speak at the right time? Doesnt it look like she doesnt care what we r discussing even if she didnt have that intention.

 

I am not questioning u..just for clarity where my concern comes from

Reminding of taking medicine is nice of her..but shouldnt we consider the Situation or hav a bit Patience..if not dont we run into a risk that other person gets angry ? If yes, then shouldnt we be ready to take that risk..rather than seeing a apology from me?

I understand that you're most likely feeling in a more vulnerable place what with an ailing parent, maybe a bit more sensitive than usual.

That's understandable.

I don't think your wife meant any harm. She was making your breakfast and worked it out that if medicine needs to be taken half an hour beforehand, perhaps if you took it right then, you'd be ready for breakfast when the phone call was over.

Maybe she just assumed you could take it quickly and be done. But she also didn't realize that you would take it this way and feel as though she didn't care or was interrupting.

I honestly don't think she meant any harm, and I am sorry you're going through sickness with your parent, it can be tough.

Should either of you apologize? I don't think either of you did anything wrong. It was a misunderstanding and a more sensitive time right now.

I think if anything, it would be good if you both came to an agreement that you can see one another's side and that both sides were understandable.

No one was in the wrong here and you both weren't trying to hurt one another.

Sorry to hear about your Dad!

Your wife did not intend for you to cut your conversation short with your mother, and just because you had in mind to end the conversation soon, how is she supposed to know that?

Your mother could have brought up something else in conversation that might prolong it.

Since you were on speaker, why couldn’t you continue to chat and take your meds?

I’m sensing your wife is a bit of a worry wart.

Take meds 30 mins prior to food and she will set a timer kind of thing?

The instructions say to take 30 mins prior to food simply because they need to be taken on an empty stomach. But really 10-15 minutes is fine. But she probably doesn’t understand the reason and so sticks to the rules.

Was there a planned outing after breakfast meaning you couldn’t delay your breakfast ?

Even if there was , you could have skipped breakfast. You don’t have to eat 30 mins after your meds, as I said it’s simply to make sure you do take the meds on an empty stomach.

The only real apology required here is from you to your mother for cutting the chat short. But that was not your wife’s fault.

Sorry to hear about your Dad!

Your wife did not intend for you to cut your conversation short with your mother, and just because you had in mind to end the conversation soon, how is she supposed to know that?

Your mother could have brought up something else in conversation that might prolong it.

Since you were on speaker, why couldn’t you continue to chat and take your meds?

 

I’m sensing your wife is a bit of a worry wart.

Take meds 30 mins prior to food and she will set a timer kind of thing?

The instructions say to take 30 mins prior to food simply because they need to be taken on an empty stomach. But really 10-15 minutes is fine. But she probably doesn’t understand the reason and so sticks to the rules.

 

Was there a planned outing after breakfast meaning you couldn’t delay your breakfast ?

Even if there was , you could have skipped breakfast. You don’t have to eat 30 mins after your meds, as I said it’s simply to make sure you do take the meds on an empty stomach.

 

The only real apology required here is from you to your mother for cutting the chat short. But that was not your wife’s fault.

Thanks for the reply..i know she has not done anything wrong..but i also have done nothing wrong..she wants an apology..and i dont see a reason why i should apologise to her.

Should either of you apologize? I don't think either of you did anything wrong. It was a misunderstanding and a more sensitive time right now.

 

I think if anything, it would be good if you both came to an agreement that you can see one another's side and that both sides were understandable.

 

No one was in the wrong here and you both weren't trying to hurt one another.

Thanks Sheri

I agree with Sheri. And please don't look too much into the matter. Appreciate each other more and try to find fault less. Again, please tend to your own medicines also if you're a bit picky about not being interrupted. Regarding your father's illness and the nature of the call, I understand it's a very difficult time but this is, more than ever, the time not to be upset and rude towards one another. Just work things out. I hope you feel better soon.

Get your own medicine next time. Next time say, thanks, I'll get it myself.

 

 

My Argument is that she should have waited to finish my call as i was preparing to hangup or she could hav got me the medicine n water while I was on the phone, instead of giving me a task to have medicine.which means i had to getup take the tablet n water.

You could have also said, "thanks. Could you get me some water?" Then took the med, waited for the water while still talking with your mom, then took the pill, and your wife could have made you breakfast.

She shouldn't have to walk on egg shells to do something nice for you. I'm sorry about your dad. But you didn't have to get off the phone. You could have:

1) Asked your wife for water

2) Took the pill from her, and continued talking, and taken it after you were done

3) Offer to make breakfast for her after the call, so you could time your meds better.

4) Take the pill later after your call, and wait 30 minutes to eat regardless if breakfast was ready

But I get that you are stressed about your dad, and that can make people snap at the ones they love. You just got to remember she's not your punching bag.

Wow, this is an issue?

Wow, this is an issue?