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Thread: Should I continue to wait for dream women

  1. #1

    Should I continue to wait for dream women

    I need some advice on what to do next.

    I met a women at work just over a year ago and we exchanged numbers. We started talking and messaging each other and
    she accepted my offer of taking her out on a date. We talked about dates but before we could do anything we both moved jobs, me staying in London and she moved out of London.

    We continued to talk nearly every night and message every day. During our late night chats she told me she had
    been in a couple bad relationships which had left her hurt and she left London as it had bad memories and wowed never
    to come back.

    She continued to open up and I have provided as much support as I could. She has started to heal and feels ready to date again.
    We arranged to meet up a couple of times which she cancelled at the last minute. I have now stopped asking to meet as I feel
    guilty and offered to just stay friends. But she has said that she is interested in me and to give him time.

    This sounds stupid but she has travelled into London to see friends which has made me ask myself the question why doesn't she want to see me. I am not sure what to do. She is talking about doing stuff during the summer months, but I don't think she is ready. I don't want to hurt her as she is very special and do love talking to him. Do I tell him I rather be friends or continue being patient as I do still like her?

  2. #2
    Gold Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    I'm assuming you mean 'her'?

    I would send her a message saying, "I know you're busy, but if you want to get together, let me know when it will be convenient."

    And don't message her again, unless she responds with a date and time.

  3. #3
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    don't wait. Meet other women. She was very clear that she would never relocate back to London )if she was truly interested in you, even if she did't think she would move back, she would never say never to you. She would try to seem as open to a relationship as reasonably possible while still maintaining good boundaries. You have become a "male girlfriend" to her - you chat nightly. She cancelled on you a few times now. I would have stopped allowing so much communication - i would have invited her on a date and if it didn't work, i would offer a date for you to meet somewhere halfway or to go to her town for dinner and if she declined both, i would move on. She was very clear she is not ready for a relationship. And now that she is, she does not want to date you.

  4. #4
    Bronze Member Afireblue's Avatar
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    If she was back in the city to meet friends and didn't make time to see you, she's not interested.

    Remember that actions speak louder than words.

    Also, depending on how far she relocated, would this be a long distance thing if you ever get together? is that what you would want if that's the case?

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  6. #5
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    You've been friendzoned. And further, online only.

    Move on.

  7. #6
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    Actions speak louder than words. She is not interested.

    You should move on.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    She's not as special as you think. Try to filter when you're dating and separate the duds and IDKs(people who don't know a lot about anything) and the ones on rebounds. She's totally not in the right head space for anything remotely grounded or having anything to do with the big C (commitment). Leave her alone and don't take this personally. There are a lot of better options out there.

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry this is happening. However you already realize you are more like a male-girlfriend and a shoulder to cry on. Do you think she's stringing you along?
    Originally Posted by lynseyscott7
    We arranged to meet up a couple of times which she cancelled at the last minute. I have now stopped asking to meet as I feel
    guilty and offered to just stay friends. But she has said that she is interested in me and to give him time.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member smackie9's Avatar
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    I agree with other posters...you are totally friend zoned. She just doesn't want to lose her emotional t#$%0&. I would never buy the "I need time, it just takes time, give it time" etc. Pull back buddy....don't offer her anything. Your energy is better spent on someone else.


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