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Thread: Just found out my fiance cheated on me years ago

  1. #11
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    This thing started as a disaster, and it's likely to end that way. You get to decide whether it ends up costing you years and thousands of dollars in legal fees, or whether you'll walk away clean and whole. Choose wisely.

  2. #12

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    She told me yesterday as a result of her talking about some guy in her sleep... She said that she wanted to play the field after she was separated from her husband and told me today that she did so because she had doubts about us making it. Want on a few dates and had sex with him.

    She had 3 kids that I absolutely adore and have taken in as my own. I can't stand the idea of losing her or them, but my skin crawls when I think about her with someone else.

    But like everyone else said, we started that way and I deserve what I get going forward with her.

    Thank you for your comments.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member lostandhurt's Avatar
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    That is the one she admitted to.

    If you stay with her and still want to marry her I would make it a VERY LOOOOOOONG engagement. Keep your eyes and ears open because you are about to marry a woman that has no problem lying and cheating.

    I think you know deep down you cannot trust her and she has proven that. Marry her if you will but it will not be much of a marriage with no trust.

    Lost

  4. #14
    Platinum Member SherrySher's Avatar
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    I agree with, Lost. You might not be able to stand the thought of losing her but which is worse..losing her or staying with her and she continues to cheat and lie to you?

    How many times is it going to take? You only know of this one but who knows how many times shes actually cheated on you or lied about other men.

    She isn't someone you can trust and it's not going to change after marriage.

  5.  

  6. #15
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    Originally Posted by Rbeeson

    But like everyone else said, we started that way and I deserve what I get going forward with her.
    Your past doesn't define you or your future. Yes, you cheated. Yes, it's quite a terrible thing to do. Yes, you are living its consequences. And yes, you can attempt for your future to be nothing like your past.

    How? By changing the narrative in the present.

    What would you like your future to be like and what kind of person do you want to be? What do you need to do to get there? Does your current fiancée fit in the picture? Sure, you love her three kids and your skin crawls when you think about her with someone else. But does she fit in the picture? That is important.

  7. #16

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    She does. She's everything I have ever wanted in another person. My person. My partner. Except this... obviously. She's a liar. I'm not. Can I live with that?

    Your comments have been resonating through my mind all week... Can't decide. Again, thank you all for words and help. Please, keep it up. She's lied to me again since then... But I want to be with her. Am I pathetic? Feeling like it

  8. #17
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    Fighting my urge to just laugh...

    OK, got that out of my system.

    Do not marry her and do not consider her kids as having anything to do with you.

    Move on. Be wiser in romance than you have been.

    Do not cheat with someone and expect loyalty.

    Get tested for STIs get away from her.

    Did I say do not marry her yet?

  9. #18

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    You're all right...

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