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Thread: Ex gf making me suicidal

  1. #1

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    Ex gf making me suicidal

    Hello everyone, 1st time ever using a forum so bear with me, just wanted to have some unbiased opinions on a certain matter with an ex that seems to be playing a lot of games with me. Long story short I fell deeply in love with a girl from the neighbourhood, I was 21 and she was 18 at the time, she had a very bubbly full on personality and I noticed our relationship progressed super fast.. she just wanted me and nobody else to have her and at the time she had me severely seduced, I agreed to make things official with her.

    Things seemed great and she was everything I ever wanted and more.. she would literally do anything I wanted to make me happy, even get into the car scene with me which I thought was odd but wasnít complaining. Things started progressing more and more and I found myself moving in with her and being engaged in under a year.. and believe me I was the type of person to want to rush things, my previous relationship lasted 4 years and I never even considered moving in with her or being engaged but this girl made me feel like I was on drugs.. itís asif she was able to become anything if I want, like some sort of chameleon blending in just to make me fall hard for her.. then bam, it began.

    I started copping verbal abuse, she started asking for my passwords, she started getting angry if I ever dared going out with my friends or having a social life, she convinced me to not have female friends, then I found myself distancing myself from friends and then family.. she kept planting seeds in my brain that everybody was Ďno goodí and literally only wanted me for herself. Then when I had lost everyone, the emotional abuse started, I found myself begging to get her attention while she was always out with friends male or female, her texts went from constant spamming to only hearing from her when she came home and when she came home she was always tired. I found myself, for the 1st time in my life, completely alone, I had nobody except this fiancť that had literally stripped anybody I had away from me. When I mentioned her going out with all these guys she would say they were just friends but when I had female friends and said the same to her it was a massive issue.

    I found myself in a very dark place. She started dressing prettier, she was coming home late from work, always smelling of alcohol and when ever I asked what she got up to she would lash out at me for asking calling me a control freak when I never denied her anything. I couldnít take it anymore, I had nobody to talk to and found myself crying every night, wishing I was gone because life had become so cruel, I wanted to leave her but I had no where to go, at the time I felt asif she deserved gratitude for being the only person to give me a roof over my head, she managed to manipulate me to think everybody was out their to ruin us, asif everybody was evil only for me to realise that the issue this whole time was her and only her.

    So I started going out again, trying to get my old self back, trying to find happiness. I started amending old relationships with friends and family, I start doing things again and oh boy did she notice and she wasnít having it. Since when are you an outing person?í ĎI canít be with someone thatís never homeí Ďdidnít I tell you that they wanted to ruin usí? ĎHow can you trust them when Iím the only one thatís here for you through thick and thiní it was never ending. I argued that Iím only doing what she is doing, that the relationship should be equal but her friends and family are all good whilst mine are all evil.

    I started to notice this forced pattern of isolation, I started linking all her bad habits and googling them to only find out all her traits linked her to a sociopath/psychopath. When I started reading and digging deeper everyhing started to make sense, she was holding the strings to my life, I was her puppet, being manipulated into doing anything she wants. Enough was enough. I started getting my courage back and I fought back, I started taking charge of my life and then.. she would cry.. and cry and cry and guilt trip into going back to my old ways, black mailing me with suicide and self harm. I couldnít take it, she had begun cutting herself and acting irrational, I folded and she had me hack under her control again and it all just started again, I was a slave to her household while she was going out and having fun with other men. Eventually i noticed her getting sloppy and not hiding her messages as well as she used to, I noticed all these love hearts popping up on her phone and boys talking dirty to her and asking fkd more photos..

    I couldnít help it, I had to snoop, only to find out shed been cheating on me this whole time, I was in one messed up love triangle with her and her exes and all these other guys, I couldnít believe my eyes. The next morning I confronted her and asked if she was cheating on me. She looked me right in the eyes and said no handsome I love you and only you. She lied so effortlessly I couldnít believe it, I felt so betrayed and enraged. I started screaming, screaming like Iíve never screamed before, my blood was absolutely boiling, I started calling her all sorts of names and showing her all the evidence. She drops to her knees and starts crying hysterically but I wasnít falling for this again, I wanted to hit her, I wanted to kill her, this woman literally ruined my life, I lost everything and everyone because of her manipulation.

    I felt like such a fool, I couldnít take it anymore, I was about to hot her but Iíd never hit a woman before, in my head I started yelling at myself saying you canít hit girls so I attempted to leave the house before I did anything to her, she blocked the way begging me to not leave her, I couldnít take this bs anymore, I grabbed her and pulled her out of the door way and she starts screaming as if I had hit her. I finally get out of the bedroom and her mother starts screaming at me Ďhow dare you hit my princess, Iím calling the cops etcí they were making it out asif I had done something horrendous. I knew the police would believe them over me, in Australia they seem to favour the females side with everyhing so I just called it quits, I got in my car, got in the freeway, hit 130kph and drive into a wall. The impact was huge and broke the windscreen with my head, I was bleeding and dizzy but I wasnít dead, I was so angry that it didnít work. My car still moved but really slowly I kept driving into barriers barely reaching 60kph and nothing, until eventually my car was completely immobile. I couldnít stop crying. Why canít I just die!í My phone was going off constantly, it was her, sheíd called about a hundred times. I finally answered to her crying and asking me where I was, I told her what happen. She hung up and came straight to me and took me to the hospital, I canít understand this girl.

    How could she treat me like that and somehow rush to my aid after everyhing. Eventually they let me out and sent me home, I claimed it was just an accident, I didnít want to end up in a psych ward. She took care of me and everything felt like it was like during day 1, it was magical again. My father called me that day crying, he saw my car in pieces on the freeway and broke down. Our relationship became strong again with my family and I felt as if it was all a blessing in disguise. Everyhing felt like back to normal again. Months had passed and she told me her colleague was suicidal, a colleague that had been trying to steal her from me since he had started working at the same pizza shop as her.

    I hated him, he was an older persistent Indian delivery driver that gave my relationship so many problems but Iím just not a vengeful person, I told her she could see him and make sure his okay. Eventually they start going out together for dinner and drinks and clubbing on so on. He starts messaging her things like I love you and they he misses her and I said things have gone to far. She said he was just a friend and for me to think nothing of it, that he was harmless but I knew that was not the case. We had a massive argument and she leaves and goes to his house for the night.

    That was my last straw, I just pack all of my things, leave a break up note and move out. I block her from everything on social media. I start receiving hundreds of private calls and voicemails from her because private calls canít be blocked. I just ignore them. She starts making new accounts on every social media platform and writing me paragraphs about how she fkd up and wants me back. I just keep blocking them but she keeps making more. I disable all my social media and turn my phone off for over a month, leave and quiet finally. I few months pass and I get a job requiring me to have my phone as I was a casual. I turn it back on and things seem quiet. Weeks go by so I reactive my social media. The coast seemed clear. Then in my birthday I get a birthday message, a shark dive experience worth hundreds of dollars and a massive birthday cake from my ex. By this time I had lost all bad feelings for her and sent her a thank you message because I felt guilty if I didnít.

    We get back on speaking terms and we seem to make good friends, my old feelings for her stsrt to come back, she seems a changed person but I knew I had to resist. I get a new gf and thatís when things started getting crazy again. She starts telling me that sheís no good and to break up with her, that she still loves me and how could I do this to her. She made me feel really guilty for trying to move on and I find myself breaking up with new girl out of guilt and I tell my ex and sheís all happy and ask to see me. Days go by and are texts start become more and more apart and she always had an excuse as to why I couldnít see her until finally my ex disappears. I thought what the hell? Few days later I run into her at the shops with that same 30 old Indian guy, they see me and avoid me like the plague. I was furious.

    I unblock her on social media to only notice that she was dating him the whole time she was telling me to break up with my girl. I felt so betrayed once again. I wanted to kill him, I wanted to kill her, I wanted to hurt everyhing, I hated the world for being so fkn cruel to me but I just took it out at the gym, I just tried to remain sane and not doing anything irrational but I felt like I had lost my soul, I felt so empty inside, I fail all my subjects uni that semester, I find myself in a very dark place once again but I stayed strong, I was lucky last time and I knew it, I promised myself never to attemp suicide again no matter how difficult things got. Months go by and tine felt very slow until I finally meet a new girl, shes a very honest and faithful girl, she works very hard and genuinely cares for me and lets me do anything I want and I gave her the same treatment.

    Life finally starts to feel somewhat normal again, I start passing classes, I start my son business and made heaps of money, I bought a nice car and motor bike and go on holidays, life is good and then bam. She starts making new social media accounts to try and get to me again and get me to talk to her, saying she misses me and etc while she is still with this Indian guy but Iím not falling for this again, sheís dead to me but she just never quits, itís been years now and she just doesnít quit, my question to everyone is what the do I do? How do you get rid of a psychopath once and for all, I canít take it anymore of this .
    Last edited by Rollo; 05-01-2019 at 11:35 AM.

  2. #2
    Bronze Member Afireblue's Avatar
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    Please break this into paragraphs or no one will read it

  3. #3
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    No one will respond to a huge wall of text. Please consider your audience.

  4. #4
    Member Camber 2019's Avatar
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    For sure... Paragraphs, spaces, punctuation... it all helps!

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  6. #5

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    Sorry everyone Iím new to this, Iíve broken it up for everyone, thanks

  7. #6
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    I do not understand why you have not blocked this woman? Do you respond to her?

  8. #7

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    I have blocked her, she keeps making new social media accounts and getting new numbers when ever I do

  9. #8
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Your entire post is riddled with blame games, violence and blatant disregard for each other. I think asking what should you do is a bit trite and makes no sense. You've already done what you ought to do. Stop waiting like a sitting duck to be eaten up again and again by this nonsense. Move on with your life and stop self-sabotaging by leaving loopholes in your progress to happiness. Continue blocking her again and again and again. Do NOT respond to her.

  10. #9
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    You can start by changing your number, you can also make your social media private.

  11. #10

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    Thanks for your response, I no longer respond to her what so ever, itís been almost a year since the last time I replied, she just keeps on going with new accounts, Iíve never been violent towards her, the only time Iíve ever gotten physical was when she wouldnít let me out of her house, I pushed her out of the door way and she fell on her knees all dramatically and screaming hysterically as if I had actually hit her, Iíve never hit a female in my life. Iíve been doing what Iíve been doing for a long time and it seems to be getting me nowhere, this is why I ask what to do, it doesnít end.

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