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Thread: Will the physical pain ease or go away?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
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    Panic and anxiety is our body's response to avoiding what we perceive to be danger and/or pain (flight or flight). Some of us experience this to a greater degree than others. You are doing the right things to try and face your feelings and your fears... keep this up and start investing in yourself again. It will take time but slowly you will start to see things getting better. For me, the turning point was when I went a whole day without thinking about my ex.

  2. #12
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    Yes, the physical and emotional pain will get better with time. I was in your shoes nearly a year ago when my ex told me he wanted a divorce after 29 years of marriage. A breakup (especially a long one, like yours) can wreak havoc on your body, both physically and emotionally. It is so draining. It feels surreal.

    I didn't want a divorce although it was a toxic environment. A few months after he told me, I also had a panic attack while sleeping. I woke up and freaked out. I had no idea what was happening to me; thought I was having a heart attack. After having symptoms for over an hour, I almost called 911 but it slowly subsided. It turned out to be a panic attack. Went for an EKG, stress test, the works.

    I am relieved that you saw your GP about this and are seeing a therapist. Give yourself time, that's the key. No quick fixes, I'm afraid. You have to go through the grieving process and eventually you will feel better and heal. You will experience a roller coaster of emotions, that I can tell you. It stinks in the meantime, granted, but you will get through this at your own pace. I promise.

  3. #13
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    We started to talk about living arrangements, as we would need to either sell where we live or buy each other out type thing.

    When my panic attacks happened we stopped talking about it until I got myself a bit better, I didn't want to add anymore stress on

  4. #14
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    Thank you for your reply and advise

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  6. #15
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    Hi thank you for taking the time to reply,

    Again its reassuring to hear that I am doing the right things, thank you for the advise and kind words.

  7. #16
    Member Flipp's Avatar
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    Yes it will ease.

    And panic attacks are actually quite common when going through something rough like a break up. I've never had any problems with anxiety before my break up, but had a few panic attacks in my darkes period. Also developed a sort of "alarm reaction" to seeing cars that looked like his etc etc. It gradually faded, but even 8 months later I was still more aware and anxious when I was at places he could show up. Now, 9 months in, I feel pretty confident that if I see him in the streets or something, that I will be the one who can raise my head and breathe.

    I would advice you to get some distance between you. Time will help you think more clearly and understand and sort through your emotions. It doesn't mean that you'll never talk to her or see her again, but it gives you a breather. And things also need to sink in. It's a he** of a ride, and a tsunami of pain really, it was for me anyways, but it will get better. You only have to survive untill it does! And each of our paths are different. Follow your heart, but put yourself first. I broke NC after 7 months. People told me not to, but honestly, that was what i needed, and that made things better afterwards. But if I had done it sooner, I wouldn't have been ready, and it wouldn't have been as benificial to me...

    I honestly thought I would never ever give up the hope of getting my ex back, even though he dumped me, even though he found himself a new girl super fast... We broke up the last week of July 2018, and I think my latest thread on this forum was written in late January, where I still wanted him back. Now the table has turned a 180 degrees, and he is miserable and wants me back, but I am able to see more clearly what I want and need... I never ever thought I'd feel that, or say that out loud. And I don't know what the future holds, him or someone else, but I'm feeling so much better now. And you will too!

  8. #17
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    Hi thank you for taking the time to reply,

    I have started thinking and looking at living arrangements, I think its the right thing to do.

    Again its reassuring to hear about people going though exactly the same, the one thing that has been getting me a lot is going out into public situations, Ie going for food etc I felt panicked and left.

    But my chest pains seemed to of died down which is good and I am taking steps, such as going for walks on my own, eating more etc.

    Thanks again

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