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Thread: to send or not to send (break-up realisation)

  1. #11
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    While you might be able to figure out which behavior may have caused someone to lose feelings, that doesn't make such a recognition capable of restoring the feelings that are lost.

    She's already told you that you're forgiven, but she has zero interest in a do-over. Attempting to influence her beyond that is disrespectful and a reason for her to withdraw forgiveness. Skip that. You're forgiven--keep it that way and use your hindsight to benefit you in your future relationships.

  2. #12
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    Originally Posted by cregsy
    So, the question is to send, or not to send?
    You say she broke it off.

    You reached out (presume this was from no contact) to see if she was interested.

    She told you she isn't.

    Do NOT send that letter. Ritually burn it and spread the ashes on the garden.

    Now that I have processed what went wrong, I know i can see it in myself to put these changes into practice
    Then do that*. Do it for yourself. You don't need to prove anything to your ex or obtain her permission. For two reasons:

    1. If she ever changes her mind (highly unlikely) she sees the new improved cregsy, which will be more attractive.

    2. You will be a better relationship partner for the next lady.

    [*If you have been doing no contact, you should also be hitting the gym, etc, anyway.]

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this. How did you come about this realization? Unfortunately you ran things by her already and she's not interested in reconciliation. Those "get your ex back" scam sites always recommend writing letters. Especially letters that explain how you are a better man, working on yourself, improved, had an epiphany, etc.

    There is no point to the letter when you already have your answer. If anything it will look desperate and she will roll her eyes as she shows it to her friends and has a good laugh over it. Do Not Send It. Write it all out then make an appt with a therapist to sort things out and help yourself out of this 'dark place'.
    Originally Posted by cregsy
    I reached out to her a couple of weeks ago and explained how I know i did her wrong and I wanted to see her but she didn't and so it was over text. She forgives me for everything but said that it is beyond repair.

  4. #14
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    Did Cregsy ever come back?

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