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Thread: No hope for friendship but i still feel the need to at least apologize

  1. #21
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    If you want to avoid potential harassment charges and to keep your job, don't put another word in writing.

    Read my sig, and keep your distance from this woman before you have no choice in the matter.

  2. #22
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    I am not putting anything in writing Right now all I want to do is say I am sorry and offer to make amends but I know that saying anything to her even that might blow up in my face What I am going to do before I go on my next vacation is just do something nice for my fellow co workers and yes she is one of them but I will do nothing special for her and no apologies and I am thinking worst case scenario nothing changes but bye doing something nice for others I feel s little bit better about myself and I start to move on and of course the best case scenario is that her heart softens just enough so I can apologize Another reason I canít say anything is in the letter I said that You can talk to me about anything if that is what u need from me as a friend but if you need space and time alone I will also be that type of friend so if she read it she knows that and if she did not well then she does not

  3. #23
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    Bye the way even if bye some miracle she does talk to me before then (Which bye the way is a week from friday I am STILL going to do that nice gesture for my fellow co workers, Why you may ask would I still do that if she gave opened the door for me to apologize before then BECAUSE that is only part of the reason I am doing that The first reason still would apply and I would feel better about myself knowing that I could bring a smile to all my co workers not just her anymore

  4. #24
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Have you considered some therapy for the anxiety, ruminating and other problems surrounding lacking boundaries?

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  6. #25
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    Well I did in the past and I was diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder and when I get like that I get very nervous (Like when I apologized to the girl I could not stop my hand from shaking like a leaf (I tried to hide that) but the worst thing I do is I write too much of what I send it and when the person ignores me or just does not get what I am saying I overdo everything in an effort to get to fix things For the most part these things do not happen a lot. I mean I get along and actually have good relationships with my coworkers In this case however for whatever reason my guard was down and I caught feelings for this girl and I do not know why maybe because we had similiar mannerisms (like the way we move out of the way) that we both noticed and while I was NEVER going to start anything with her, I felt good when I could make her smile or when she came to me for help. Maybe I got high on the feeling I got from making her feel good (Even though things went bad I will never regret the smile I put on her face for her birthday) but at some point I overdid it and the way I foind out is that she restricted me on facebook (The funny thing and this is not her fault but if she had just told me I may not have gone into this tailspin) and when that happened I just broke out into tears (I was alone) because the last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt this girl I really ONLY wanted to be a blessing in her life and the fact I made her feel that she had restricted me meant that I was no longer a blessing but a curse and I made a mess of things The more I think on this Yes I do want to say I am sorry and offer to make amends because what I did deserves at least that (But I also know that right now the ONLY thing I can do is respect her wish to be left alone) As for the friendship I know the friendship is dead BUT there is always that small part that hopes in time her heart softens and we can become friends BUT I do have this part of my brain that is telling me that even if someday she gives me a chance to be friends again maybe it is not an offer I should accept and just maybe it is just best for us not to be friends anymore. Maybe God put me in her llife last year to do what I did and maybe that is why everything went so well last year and this year maybe everything went sour because my time in her life was supposed to be done and I did not see it, I guess the best way to describe it is that last year she touched my heart and this year she broke my heart. The first one I handled well the second I did not.

  7. #26
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    There was a time years ago when a fellow co worker and I had a falling out (that one was not a female) and we had fallen out for a while to the point that the loss of our friendship did not bother either one of us, Then one year around Christmas I just got in one of those moods to do something nice, So I bought KFC for the whole work area I did not want anything nor did I expect anything but of course some of my co workers thanked me but I was shocked when he thanked me and we talked and end result years later our friendship is now stronger than it was, So I know from personal experience that doing good for others can sometimes soften people's hearts. Now will that happen again this time Maybe, Maybe not have no control of that but I am okay with that and besides maybe that day she will take off and once out of my control, Because no matter what happens with her I am going to feel better about myself

  8. #27
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    Yesterday at work I moved out of her way so that she could get bye me as she walked by me she rubbed my back a little as she walked bye, I did not say any thing at all because it may have meant nothing and even if it had meant something I am in no position to guess and right now it is better to be safe than sorry, If she wants to speak to me she needs it perfectly clear that she is speaking to me. If she does the ONLY thing I am going to say to her is that I am sorry and offer to make amends if I can then leave the ball so to speak in her court.

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