Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 3 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 39

Thread: Over-Communication

  1. #21
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    49,313
    Do you guys laugh a lot together/banter?

  2. #22
    Silver Member Goodfellas's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Canada
    Age
    33
    Posts
    518
    Gender
    Male
    Originally Posted by Batya33
    Do you guys laugh a lot together/banter?
    YES.

    Just Saturday we were both in tears about an inside joke and she loves how she can commenter how she loves how she can be herself and “look gross” when she laughs hard.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    49,313
    Originally Posted by Goodfellas
    YES.

    Just Saturday we were both in tears about an inside joke and she loves how she can commenter how she loves how she can be herself and “look gross” when she laughs hard.
    So go with that - I would give her space to chat - and assume she is a grown up and will tell you or show you if she's uncomfortable just hanging out quietly.

  4. #24
    Gold Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Location
    British Columbia, Canada
    Posts
    865
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by Goodfellas
    • We’re not growing apart, quite the opposite we’re talking about moving in together which I’d prefer to forced phone calls before bed
    I'm not sure if someone else commented about you both growing apart. If you're responding to my comment about growing individually as people I think you've misunderstood my comment. It's important for two people to grow as individuals and have separate likes and dislikes, interests and hobbies. When you come together you're much more engaged and have much more to bring to the table. If you both don't have anything else going on outside of your relationship together and constantly talk about your routine/daily routine, this can get incredibly boring over time.

  5.  

  6. #25
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Posts
    8,652
    I get what you're suggesting abit, but effective communication is key here.

    Not just say "let's not text anymore" but discuss the pros and cons of maintaining that pace and how it's impacting your relationship. Honestly and openly.

    My bf and I did and came to a mutual understanding about it.

    He was guilty of it as much as I, but it became too much.

    Had he chosen to just arbitrarily cut back and changed his style without communicating about it, I would have assumed he was losing interest and pulled back myself, not in a good way.

  7. #26
    Silver Member Goodfellas's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Canada
    Age
    33
    Posts
    518
    Gender
    Male
    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    I'm not sure if someone else commented about you both growing apart. If you're responding to my comment about growing individually as people I think you've misunderstood my comment. It's important for two people to grow as individuals and have separate likes and dislikes, interests and hobbies.
    Thanks for clarifying as that is what I thought you meant. We’re visiting my parents this weekend so we’ll have four hours in a car where I can broach this subject.

  8. #27
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    23,292
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by katrina1980
    I get what you're suggesting abit, but effective communication is key here.

    Not just say "let's not text anymore" but discuss the pros and cons of maintaining that pace and how it's impacting your relationship. Honestly and openly.

    My bf and I did and came to a mutual understanding about it.

    He was guilty of it as much as I, but it became too much.

    Had he chosen to just arbitrarily cut back and changed his style without communicating about it, I would have assumed he was losing interest and pulled back myself, not in a good way.
    Well -- it can be approached as a gentle nudge "hey, i have an idea -- why don't i call you at lunch instead of texting you all day? I love hearing your voice==" or simply doing it vs it being more of a "TALK" about the relationship "honey, i want to maintain a certain pace in this relationship and pace of communication..." sounds like "i need space. Our relationship is stagnating. You need to find a hobby so i am not bored with you"

  9. #28
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Posts
    8,652
    Yeah that would definitely work!

    When my bf and I discussed, it wasn't this big heavy "talk" - I actually dislike such talks and find them ineffective.

    But we did discuss it in a light, non-hurtful way versus him (or I) choosing to pull back without explaining, which after nearly a year of a certain texting style and routine, I cannot imagine would have gone down well for either of us.

    And as a result of communicating about it, our relationship is stronger, fresher and even exciting!

    I miss him, and look forward to talking to him and seeing him!

    Which I will be doing tonight!!

  10. #29
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    23,292
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by katrina1980
    Yeah that would definitely work!

    When my bf and I discussed, it wasn't this big heavy "talk" - I actually dislike such talks and find them ineffective.

    But we did discuss it in a light, non-hurtful way versus him (or I) choosing to pull back without explaining, which after nearly a year of a certain texting style and routine, I cannot imagine would have gone down well for either of us.

    And as a result of communicating about it, our relationship is stronger, fresher and even exciting!

    I miss him, and look forward to talking to him and seeing him!

    Which I will be doing tonight!!
    WHen he mentioned the long car ride would give them a chance to talk -- that's what led me to clarify. having a "talk" on a four hour car ride smells unpleasant stink bomb.
    4 hour car ride? Bring CDs of music that you liked as a teen that you were embarrassed to like to have some laughs because she doesn't know you liked it. Bring a book on tape, etc. Whatever you do, don't have a big "talk"

  11. #30
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Posts
    8,652
    Originally Posted by abitbroken
    WHen he mentioned the long car ride would give them a chance to talk -- that's what led me to clarify. having a "talk" on a four hour car ride smells unpleasant stink bomb.
    4 hour car ride? Bring CDs of music that you liked as a teen that you were embarrassed to like to have some laughs because she doesn't know you liked it. Bring a book on tape, etc. Whatever you do, don't have a big "talk"
    Abit, we are on the exact same page about that! I thought the same thing!

    Long drive, please, no heavy "relationship" talk, make it fun!

    And lol @ "unpleasant stink bomb" -- well said. :)

Page 3 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •