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Thread: Still hate my job i started in january thinking about going part time

  1. #21
    Platinum Member RainyCoast's Avatar
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    Ok come back to post here when you do though. You know, for accountability! XD


    A thyroid issue can be easily managed, or it could get serious.

    Have you generally, I mean even before all this, had not had much will to live? I'm asking because that was me in my twenties, and my self neglect manifested differently than yours, but there was this underlying belief that I needn't invest in myself as i'm not going to be around much longer. As if I was allowing myself to disintegrate, doing nothing to prevent an untimely death.

    It's like "passive suicide" if that makes sense.


    Then, years after, I didn't appreciate the various health issues and such I had to deal with as a result at a much younger age than I'd have to had I looked after my health and safety better.

    "You only have one life/one body" sounds like a platitude...until it doesn't.
    Last edited by RainyCoast; 04-29-2019 at 05:00 PM.

  2. #22
    Silver Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    RainyCoast:The sooner you develop some tolerance for discomfort and dislike, the more you'll thank yourself later.

    How true.

  3. #23
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    Originally Posted by Nickel Speed
    Let's start with this. I'm not trying to be an ass. If it wasn't for the physical discipline I picked up in the military I probably would have ended up here and gotten worse than I did. I got much bigger than I liked for a while.

    I can say that this will greatly affect your mood. It won't make your job itself better, and I know the thought of working out at the end of an insufferable day where you don't want to do anything else is hard. Also, not snacking while sitting on your ass all day is hard, especially in an environment where there is frequent coffee and donuts.

    Get your thyroid medication in check.
    Get some physical activity in every day, whether you want to or not..no excuses. Learn about nutrition and eat better. Cut out all the sugars.

    While it seems unrelated to your job, trust me when I say it affects every aspect of your life. If you can't get out of this slump due to depression, consider therapy.


    youre absolutely right. i cant even get myself to do stuff that i usually enjoy, imagine stuff i dont enjoy. at work i usually only drink water and actually really little food for being there 9 hours of my day and not much sugar. but i could eat "better food". apart from looking for a new job ill tackle the thyroid issue and the food first. maybe after having worked on both of those i feel more energetic, less passive and less sh*tty.

  4. #24
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    Originally Posted by emptyeffort
    youre absolutely right. i cant even get myself to do stuff that i usually enjoy, imagine stuff i dont enjoy. at work i usually only drink water and actually really little food for being there 9 hours of my day and not much sugar. but i could eat "better food". apart from looking for a new job ill tackle the thyroid issue and the food first. maybe after having worked on both of those i feel more energetic, less passive and less sh*tty.
    Working out and eating better can also help thyroid issues. If you aren't doing it, you are looking for excuses. You'll be better off starting today than you will waiting.

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  6. #25
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    Originally Posted by RainyCoast
    Have you generally, I mean even before all this, had not had much will to live? I'm asking because that was me in my twenties, and my self neglect manifested differently than yours, but there was this underlying belief that I needn't invest in myself as i'm not going to be around much longer. As if I was allowing myself to disintegrate, doing nothing to prevent an untimely death.

    It's like "passive suicide" if that makes sense.
    in a sense this describes it kinda well. i would never hurt/kill myself but for years ive been living in this state of: "my lives going to be sh*tty anyway, im never gonna accomplish anything (mainly just having a job i love doing while being able to provide for a family) and find a suitable significant other (which i very much miss, since my last break up a couple of years ago) i just wish i wouldnt wake up the next day". i guess im hoping it all just ends magically before the real consequences catch up to me.

    being with her showed me how lonely i actually was before that (was my only gf because somehow i never fell in love with girls that fell in love with me and i didnt have exactly much self esteem, what an irony) and how lonely i am now. i was very clingy and codependent because of that.

    welp i get the sense maybe the the job isnt the part that solely makes my life feel like a waste but also these other underlying issues that i banished from my brain. it just all culminates and the job was the newest addition to an already bleak life.

  7. #26
    Platinum Member RainyCoast's Avatar
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    Yes and soon as thyroid meds take time before they work, your hormone levels take weeks to improve.

    Okay, so there's something you can occupy yourself with tomorrow after work other than just browsing.

    You set up an appointment, look up support groups or therapists in your area, check job openings, power walk around the block.

    I'll tell you a well kept secret. Nobody is motivated all the time, many people are hardly ever motivated, and the majority are only sporadically motivated. They get things done because
    1. No choice
    2. They work on them regularly (make a short list of daily non-negotiables that have to be done just like brushing your teeth isn't optional) and they work when they're uninspired (musicians who would most like to smash their instrument at the wall, believe they'll never amount to anything, would rather be watching GOT now, but continue practicing sometimes the same old thing for months until it works for example)

    Write a letter of application tomorrow, even a practice one. Call the unemployments office and ask if a consultant would be able to advise you on putting together a good application despite you being currently employed. Even if you're not going to look for jobs now you can browse openings and be ready for if something good shows up.

    Do it even if it feels like crap.

    Ask your doctor for a referral to someone who can help you with your persistent lack of interest in life and self-preservation, low self esteem etc.

    You're actually very open to considering what's behind your initial aversion to a boring job. You are willing to be honest with yourself, and you're providing some answers yourself. I think in discourse with someone who can also offer an effective toolset to reverse this "letting go of" trend, you could make great progress. Doctors are usually not surprised that thyroid patients report depressive states either, but help should be offered readily anyway.
    Last edited by RainyCoast; 04-29-2019 at 05:40 PM.

  8. #27
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    You posted this in December:
    welp

    i applied for a job that i was actually genuinly interested in. they invited me for an interview and apparently i nailed it. they had a few questions to which i didnt really know a good answer to like: what are your biggest weaknesses/strength, but i totally convinced them with my knowledge needed for the job.

    im happy about the job itself since there were a bunch i applied to where i wasnt really interested in just cz i needed the money.
    pay is good, the company seems really cool and caring. ill be starting in january

    im really happy and hope this is the first step to a better life.


    Then I think in February you posted about hating the job, today you still hate it.

    Honestly...will you hate every job you get? Seems like so far you have.

  9. #28
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    Originally Posted by RainyCoast
    Ok come back to post here when you do though. You know, for accountability! XD
    i made my appointment to get checked today. ill be going there next week, get my blood checked and i hope nothing else serious adds to my stupid condition..

    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    Then I think in February you posted about hating the job, today you still hate it.

    Honestly...will you hate every job you get? Seems like so far you have.
    starting whenever i did my first thread about "the job" it has always been the same job. in my december post i was talking about this job. but then i wasnt working for them and only had the version of the corporation that was sold to me. when i started working the flaws became very obvious very quick.
    we have many different hardware products, most of you probably even own some of them but theres one category which i openly said have no knowledge about and they said: thats no problem we will train you. 4 months later, i still havent gotten that training, when i asked my colleagues they laughed ironically and i will never get it. 4 months later when customers call about that certain kind of product i cannot help them almost at all. its not my problem honestly and im not paid enough to actually care, but its still annoying thats true for most of our team btw. in january i was promised id get off for holidays, now they changed it that i do. So the first holiday that i actually had (friday before easter) i had to work. we went to work for 50 fcking calls.. its a joke. tomorrow, another holiday here, ill have to work again. its less about getting these off but more about the honesty or the lack thereof.

    its not that i hate the job because of calling alone which might have been what my post seemed like. its many different things that are incredible to me and that are asked of us which all culminate together. all my other colleagues (whove worked there far longer than me, think the same, but they seem to have a higher tolerance.

    as ive found out of the course of reading and participating in the comments of my thread some actually helped me feel better, guide in the right direction and let me see where a big part of my problems lie. its most likely less about the job but my condition.

  10. #29
    Platinum Member RainyCoast's Avatar
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    Good job on the appointment!! Fingers crossed it's treated effectively soon!

  11. #30
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    as said before we now have to work on holidays, too. today was one and we went there FULL TEAM, because they wanted it like that. for 23 fcking calls. 23 fcking calls.. i didnt even get a call lol, partically because i did chat half of the time but there i got 1 customer.. on the one hand its great because we get paid double for doing nothing and watching netflix (watched a whole season final space and some rick and morty), on the other id much rather have the free day to be honest but that is probably because i do not "need" more money and i live a very down low life with not a bunch of idk how to put it. basically i live like i dont have a single cent (day to day) although ive been working for a couple of months. that made it possible for me to upgrade my PC, which has been my hobby of over 10 years now only after the 2nd month considerably.

    been thinking if i should just treat myself a little more, in the sense of just spending a little more cash here and there to sweaten my day, to have some positive points in the day or something, but honestly i wouldnt even know what to get or do. not gonna start a drug addiction like nicotine, i dont really drink at all, if i spent it on delicious food id gain even more weight. will get a contract for my phone so i actually have internet when not at home etc.

    "im not someone to whine fast and i have lots of patience but i feel like this job is costing me my sanity. i feel like ill eventually get into a downward spiral developing some kind of mental issues."

    while still hating it, having had 2 days after the post and talking to people on here, i think the main issue lies with my condition and im now on the way to get it treated asap. will try to eat more nutritious and get the meds i need.

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