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Thread: Long Distance Trust Issues

  1. #11
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Sounds like you already know the answer, it's just difficult to face. The two of them didn't just go on a platonic camping trip. He is stringing along both of you....and doubt he is serious about either one of you. As you said, he enjoys the attention while he is committed to no one but himself. Cut him loose and find a better guy to date closer to home. Don't get stuck on you have fun or have a lot in common. Lots of guys out there who will be all that and more too for you.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by duckie22
    Yes I immediately knew it was someone flirting with him and that actually doesnít bother me it all.
    So you've said but are just as not bothered that he's sexually active with someone else? If you are then why the tread? If you aren't then why bother being with him when its clear you are not the only woman he's into?

    It was his reaction that did. His defensiveness was so shocking! And he changed the topic sooo quickly!
    Why is that THE only thing that is bothersome to you? Are you okay with sharing him?

    When he relaxed and said Ďsheí I didnít react. In fact I was relieved that he was actually talking about her rather than hiding it.
    Seems an odd reaction to the fact he's dating someone else.

    I just asked him if she enjoyed herself and what she thought the best part was. As if she was one of his close friends.
    Were you trying to act like the cool chick or were you actually just interested in how his date enjoyed herself?

    He spoke about her but didnít linger on the topic.
    Irrelevant, really.

    He does really like the attention she gives him. And I donít know that itís much more than that
    Surely you are not that naive?
    but I feel like that effects of that are compounded times and times over when you predominately live apart. She is more accessible to him in every way. And sheís new and exciting.
    ... Yes, so what are you going to do? Are you going to do the smart thing (IMO) and dump him since he's clearly enjoying more than just "her attention" or; are you going to continue acting the cool chick until he dumps you or learns that you are quite okay with sharing him so he keeps doing it while you wait for him to give you your turn with him?

  3. #13
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    Originally Posted by duckie22
    Iím in Australia and he is in New Zealand. Iím at university so Iím committed to my location for the time being. The benefits of the relationship do outweigh the cons for the time being and we both love each otherís company. I think we have a mutual understanding that we want to enjoy the relationship while it lasts and enjoy the adventures we have with each other. Itís just this behaviour from him is new and makes me sad to think he might have found someone he prefers. Ultimately I want him to be happy though. Which means I might have to let him go.
    You think you have a mutual understanding? Or do you?

    Also, "enjoying it while it lasts..." I get that life is a lot of times about living in the moment and not stressing, but... that phrase doesn't exactly ring with warm fuzzy feelings for your future (nor does "the pros outweigh the cons"). For any relationship to work, there needs to be clear communication about the overall goal of it, whatever the two people decide that is. But especially with LDRs... that assurance (which usually involves a plan to close the distance) that you're working toward something is what gets you through all those days of not being close to each other.

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