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Thread: Is my girlfriend crazy/ unreasonable??????

  1. #21
    Gold Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    I understand the concept behind it and can respect your reasons for doing it (free will here and let's keep it basic without bringing in the kids).

    Despite that you do have a right to exercise free will and take care of yourself, I think your methods are unusual and overkill (for lack of a better term) in most people's day to day lives. If you do have or have experienced severe traumatic experiences and have been advised by your counsel or lawyer or some other advisor to use this as a means of protecting yourself for an interim or indefinite period of time, it would make more sense than it does now. On the outset, I think you should in some small way, even if you dislike it, resign yourself to accepting that this type of behaviour is really quite odd and unwarranted. Even if it is not odd by your standards, it is odd by many's standards.

    Having said that, you are asking the "many", where the "many" represents the majority of the members on an anonymous online forum. You are going to receive an answer... unfortunately, it's not one that's similar to how you feel about the matter or how justified you feel.

    The bottomline is: YOU need to feel comfortable in your own skin doing what you do or what you have to do. If you are adamant that this is the right course of action, don't worry so much about what others think and eventually you'll have to come to terms with the conflict in your relationship and learn to respect what your partner doesn't like. She doesn't like this about you. Call a spade a spade and respectfully let each other go. There is no need to call each other crazy or criticize each other. The right person will understand you and your circumstances. You also don't deserve to subject yourself to judgment that is not applicable to you. The overall consensus is that this behaviour is not what the majority of people do in ordinary circumstances. If you live in an extraordinary situation, that's unique to YOU so don't bother what anyone else says. It won't be applicable to you.

  2. #22
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    Since you are aware of what your gf posted online, Iím assuming she showed you the responses she got and was using the post in order to get several to agree with her and present it to you to prove her point to you.
    And in retaliation you are doing the same?
    Correct me if Iím wrong?

    Since you are unwilling to remove the app for your reasons which have nothing to do with her , ask her straight up if itís a deal breaker for her?
    If it is , then you part ways.
    If it isnít , then the conversation should never be brought up again.
    End of story.

    But I donít think this is the only issue in your relationship.

  3. #23
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    Originally Posted by bundaberg
    she does know that i MAY record the conversation, none of which i have done. I dont need an email sent to me because i have a recording of the call. its much more convenient.
    The conversation with your girlfriend too, though? If that's what you mean, I can see why she's upset. I don't get why you would ever feel the need to record her call.

    However, it seems there are other serious problems in your relationship and a lot of hostility. Just end it.

  4. #24
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    ďWhen we argue, on several occasions she has told me to off, told me to go away little boy. She has told her son to his face to project his voice and speak up because when he is quiet it makes him look like a "ing idiot". Is that ok?

    Just yesterday when I was leaving her house after a visit, I said i better go. I did not get a response from her. Not an ok, not a no worries... nothing. So i stood up and said i hope you have a good day, again i got no response and i left. When explaining to her that i expect her to talk, to say something if i am talking to her... her response is to tell me that I didnt ask a question so it didnt need a reply, she also told me to lower my expectations. She said she is not going to do a song and dance every time i arrive or leave. Ē

    Her parenting skills or lack of are none of your business.
    How she treats you is.

    You have not seen your own kids for 4 years , so I fail to see why you comment on her parenting skills when you are an absent father? Is that what this issue is really about?

    You initially said you record calls because you donít want to miss out on conversations with your kids. You later said , you were actually recording the conversations with their mother?
    What exactly is the unresolved conflict with your kids mother ? And why have you not been ďallowedĒ to see them?

    You are their father? No loving , giving (emotionally and financially) father is ever denied to see their children.
    Is it your choice not to see them?

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  6. #25
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It's not looking good. At 6 mos in there is too much conflict and you both seem too damaged from your pasts. You can do what you want, however your gf should simply stop voice calling you altogether and simply text. This way everyone has a record of things.

    Conducting your personal life as a court reporter for "evidence" screams of issues with your ex and custody, legal problems, criminal activity or just pain old controlling paranoid behavior. I would most like terminate a personal call if someone told me they were recording it.

  7. #26
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    I vote for you're simply incompatible, you both have trust issues and after only six months, best to wish each other well and say goodbye.

    Re your recording calls, at my work, this is done quite often, so are in person meetings, for substantive reasons to refer back to later. So I see no issue with recording for business purposes.

    It's really no different than communicating via email or letters, wherein everything is in writing and saved to the file for substantive reasons.

    On a personal level, if it bothers your partner, then respect her request and don't do it, or start communicating via text or email, where conversations are saved automatically, and no one has a issue with it.

    Does your gf take issue w your saving your text conversations too?

    This is one reason why I prefer text or email, over phone calls. I like referring back to later, esp when communicating w my bf.

    Re your mom, if she is threatening you, then I can understand why you would want that recorded for legal purposes should anything bad happen .

    If your kids take issue with it assumimg they know you have the app, then communicate via text, wherein conversations are auto saved, and you can read back later if you like.

    Not quite sure why they would take issue w it though, assuming you have explained your reasons for doing so. Again no different than text or email where convos are saved automatically.

    JMO
    Last edited by katrina1980; 04-27-2019 at 11:04 AM.

  8. #27
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    You two don't seem to like each other. Not at all.

    Why are you together?
    This was ignored. I still think it's true.

    Playing a game of let's poll the internet so we can "prove" who's right? Childish and counterproductive to a healthy, mutually respectful relationship.

  9. #28
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    This was ignored. I still think it's true.

    Playing a game of let's poll the internet so we can "prove" who's right? Childish and counterproductive to a healthy, mutually respectful relationship.
    Yeah agree, time to call this a day, it's petty and unproductive.

  10. #29
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    Itís one thing if someone knows theyíre being recorded, whether itís through work or otherwise. If someone isnít aware theyíre being recorded, this is a completely different story, imo. My initial opinion remains the same.

    In terms of your ex (the mother of your kids), it sounds like an incident (or incidents) happened in the past where she accused you of something and now you feel the need to protect yourself (and for all we know, maybe what happened in the past affected/impacted your relationship with your kids). This reason is so different from what you referred to in your original post.

    Without knowing the details, in terms of your ex, I can see why someone would want to protect themselves if theyíre being (or have been) accused of serious allegations (especially in a matrimonial/domestic/custody or access dispute, etc.).

  11. #30
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    OP, if you're afraid you might miss a call from your kids, ask that they leave a voice mail when they call.

    Problem solved.

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