Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Page 6 of 6 FirstFirst ... 3456
Results 51 to 58 of 58

Thread: Group Therapy - Opinions welcome

  1. #51
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2017
    Posts
    2,678
    Originally Posted by RainyCoast
    What commitment?? What is she on about?? You're a paying client, you can leave when you're tired of paying for subpar service, this ain't court ordered anger management for chrits's sake. You're not obligated to attend, she sounded like she's saying it's not optional.

    I don't like that she's "reminding" you of inexistent duties. It sounds frustrated and punitive. I almost expected you to say she reminded you of "consequences" of not attending the six sessions because the tone and wording of her sentence sounded like "or else" would naturally follow in the syntax.

    What is her deal??
    Yeah, I went back to find any paperwork I signed, tying me to a financial commitment, when she said that. Then I realized, we did sign a bunch of agreements, but never received copies (my fault, as I didn't ask for them).

    But yeah, she used the word "commitment" several times.

    I'm so glad I got all of your advice and feedback. Makes me realize some things that I should do for next time I'm in a situation such as this (things I should say, etc.).

    I've decided not to return, so I'm going to let it end with my last conversation with her.

  2. #52
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Posts
    969
    Originally Posted by LHGirl
    Yeah, I went back to find any paperwork I signed, tying me to a financial commitment, when she said that. Then I realized, we did sign a bunch of agreements, but never received copies (my fault, as I didn't ask for them).

    But yeah, she used the word "commitment" several times.

    I'm so glad I got all of your advice and feedback. Makes me realize some things that I should do for next time I'm in a situation such as this (things I should say, etc.).

    I've decided not to return, so I'm going to let it end with my last conversation with her.
    You have only 2 sessions to go!
    I suggest go back and flip things upside down lol

    In the next session , interrupt Hilda , say ďIím sorry Hilda but itís time others got some benefit from group therapy rather than paying to listen to your one on one therapyĒ , donít start talking about your issues (so as not to make it about you which I know it isnít) , simply turn to the others and ask who would like to talk?

    And see what happens?

    If you are financially committed to that session which is what the therapist is concerned about , then go , if not for the benefit of yourself but for the benefit of the other 4 who are still needing and wanting therapy.

    You seem strong and insightful enough to do this for your fellow group mates.

  3. #53
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2017
    Posts
    2,678
    Thanks Billie, great suggestion.

    The commitment isnít financial, but more of a commitment that the therapist wants from me. It was a verbal commitment to attend 6 sessions (pay as you go).

    If I decided to go back, Iíd use exactly what you said! Great feedback.

    But yeah, I committed for group therapy, but itís not turned out to be ďGroupĒ. So when the therapist accuses me of not honoring my commitment, I want to say that neither has she.

  4. #54
    Silver Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Location
    Florida Panhandle
    Posts
    324
    Gender
    Female
    LH, you're obviously dissatisfied with the whole thing. Unless you signed a document that obligates you to pay for all six sessions, you shouldn't stress yourself out by going to the last two meetings and listening to an attention w**re who sucks the oxygen out of the room.

    I agree that if the therapist tries to accuse you of not honoring the commitment, you should say to her, "I signed up for group therapy, not to listen to Hilda's problems."

    If you DO feel obligated to return, why not just take charge (since the therapist won't) and when H starts to bloviate, talk over her and ask another client, "Mary, how are you doing with your divorce issues?" At this point, you have nothing to lose and you'll probably be the hero of the group.

  5.  

  6. #55
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    Age
    52
    Posts
    36,076
    Gender
    Female
    The thing is no one can ď force ď you to go. If it is not helping you in the least why bother? Ideally group therapy should be for people who have had enough individual therapy that they have control over the explosion of verbal diarrhea. If the person is at a point where they canít control that they need more individual therapy .

  7. #56
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    21,676
    Gender
    Female
    Originally Posted by LHGirl
    I've decided not to return, so I'm going to let it end with my last conversation with her.
    Smart choice, LH. The therapist sounds manipulative and accustomed to dealing with passive people who allow her to use buzzwords to keep them paying her.

    She's not doing her job. Allowing one client to dominate a group is lazy rather than some kind of technique to prompt the passive people to correct the situation. That's crap. Facilitation means encouraging participation from everyone, even while allowing any given member to remain quiet on occasion.

    You're paying for an opportunity to work 'with' a group, not 'for' the group. If some people want to keep paying time and money to have their passivity catered to, let them have at it and walk away. Chalk the 'triggered' remark off as a feeble attempt to keep a paying customer coming back, but unfortunately for her, you're too smart for that.

    Head high.

  8. #57
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2017
    Posts
    2,678
    Originally Posted by catfeeder
    Smart choice, LH. The therapist sounds manipulative and accustomed to dealing with passive people who allow her to use buzzwords to keep them paying her.

    She's not doing her job. Allowing one client to dominate a group is lazy rather than some kind of technique to prompt the passive people to correct the situation. That's crap. Facilitation means encouraging participation from everyone, even while allowing any given member to remain quiet on occasion.

    You're paying for an opportunity to work 'with' a group, not 'for' the group. If some people want to keep paying time and money to have their passivity catered to, let them have at it and walk away. Chalk the 'triggered' remark off as a feeble attempt to keep a paying customer coming back, but unfortunately for her, you're too smart for that.

    Head high.
    OMG, thank you so much Catfeeder, you put exactly into words what I haven't been able to.

    The thing I've loved about group therapy in the past is not even what I personally gain from talking, but more what I gain from listening....to everyone. In past groups, it's been great to have one person talk, and the therapist work with that person, in front of everyone else. And then it moves on, and so on.

    This therapist doesn't really offer any "therapy", but more platitudes:
    "That sounds hurtful"
    "I'm sorry you went through that"
    "Life can be difficult"

    So I'm not even learning anything, on top of just listening to one person.

    Another thing that I don't like in this group is that the therapist keeps trying to get members to connect with each other, within the group. She has strict rules about no contact outside the group (that's the contract we signed), but within the group, she'll ask, say, Hilda, to find someone else in the room and speak to that person. It's weird. So, Hilda will just randomly look at one person and speak to that person. Then, the therapist asks that person if she understands Hilda. So that person is then encouraged to talk to Hilda. It's almost like forcing therapy between two people. I've never seen that technique used anywhere else.

    Anyway, as I said, I've decided not to return, but your feedback Catfeeder, as well as so many others, has helped me make this decision.

  9. #58
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    49,331
    Originally Posted by catfeeder
    Smart choice, LH. The therapist sounds manipulative and accustomed to dealing with passive people who allow her to use buzzwords to keep them paying her.

    She's not doing her job. Allowing one client to dominate a group is lazy rather than some kind of technique to prompt the passive people to correct the situation. That's crap. Facilitation means encouraging participation from everyone, even while allowing any given member to remain quiet on occasion.

    You're paying for an opportunity to work 'with' a group, not 'for' the group. If some people want to keep paying time and money to have their passivity catered to, let them have at it and walk away. Chalk the 'triggered' remark off as a feeble attempt to keep a paying customer coming back, but unfortunately for her, you're too smart for that.

    Head high.
    Yes I also find the therapist manipulative and lazy!

Page 6 of 6 FirstFirst ... 3456

Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •