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Thread: Group Therapy - Opinions welcome

  1. #21
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    After reading your original post I was very annoyed at how unprofessional that therapist is. I cannot believe that she actually said that this is your "area for "growth"." Are you kidding??? That is just bull. Mind you, I am not a therapist, but that woman is monopolising that session and is being selfish and unfair to the other participants. This woman should not be in a group. Sounds like she needs a one-on one situation. Plus, it's the therapists place to say something to this egotistical woman.

    It's too bad that you may have to inconvenience yourself because of this woman who has verbal diarrhea.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member RainyCoast's Avatar
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    Find a better moderated group. It doesn't mean you're triggered if you refuse to pay for someone else's therapy. I agree this woman needs one on one sessions and it's on the therapist to guide her towards the kinds and modalities of therapy better suited for her.

    If I'm being cheeky, it almost sounds like the therapist was being triggered and projected her discomfort with "confronting" this woman so that others could get their money's worth too.

  3. #23
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    Originally Posted by LHGirl
    I've attended 4 sessions of group therapy, given by a therapist I've met once prior to group.

    There are 6 women in the group, but one woman talks about 60-70% of the time (no exaggeration).

    I've decided to leave the group, as the therapist does nothing to stop this woman from nonstop talking, which literally gives several others zero time to talk. As in, several people literally say zero words during the session. This woman goes on.....and on......and on......

    The therapist is trying to get me back into the group.

    She said I should use this as my area for "growth", and she feels I'm being "triggered" by this woman, and that I should use the group to confront her and "grow" from it. Almost in an accusatory tone, as though there is something wrong with me, kind of like when someone hurts your feelings but you get called "too sensitive". I told her that no, I just want to hear from everyone, and that my "growth" comes from leaving situations like this.

    I feel it's not my place, nor my desire, to become adversarial with another member, and that it's the therapists' job to guide us all so that each person has time to talk.

    Therapist has just sent me another email asking me to come back.

    I like everyone else in the group a lot, but I don't think I can sit there for one more session, with this woman interrupting everyone else, turning attention back to herself, taking up more precious minutes, for which.....I get billed!

    Any advice, or is this just the wrong situation for me?
    I have been in your situation. I was involved in a cancer support group, where a woman monopolized the convo. The worst thing, her partner no longer had cancer, so we heard a lot about her problems at work, and about her emotionally abusive bf that lived in another state. I wanted to slap her! I felt upset for all of us dealing with a loved one dealing with cancer, but most especially a father, who little time to speak about his dying daughter.

    It is NOT your responsibility to get into a confrontation with this woman. The woman that is running the group should take control of the situation, and I would tell her so. Be direct. Isn't there a superior you can speak with?
    Last edited by Hollyj; 04-26-2019 at 05:16 PM.

  4. #24
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    You are paying for this! Hell no!

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  6. #25
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    Originally Posted by LHGirl
    I appreciate your perspective, Katrina, as you've been in these groups.

    So you think it's up to me to say, "Can you please let others speak?" Because it's the therapist who keeps going on with her. In other words, when this woman talks, the therapist keeps asking her questions, going on with her. I feel sort of like an invader, like a fly on the wall in their private therapy. Which is why I brought it up to the therapist, and she wants me to interrupt. Does that sound right?

    If it does, let me know, and I will consider it.

    This woman also interrupts whenever someone else speaks, to turn the conversation back to herself, and make it a whole new story, and the therapist then continues with her. This happened to me last group, when I was speaking (for literally less than 2 minutes). She said, "Well that reminds me of when I blah blah blah......." and the therapist turned to her, and spent the next 15 minutes on her blah blah blah. I was like, mmmmkay, I guess I'm done here.
    Find another group. How frustrating!

  7. #26
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    This happened to me last group, when I was speaking (for literally less than 2 minutes). She said, "Well that reminds me of when I blah blah blah......." and the therapist turned to her, and spent the next 15 minutes on her blah blah blah. I was like, mmmmkay, I guess I'm done here.
    Not okay!! I draw the line here. I would be livid. I think you handled yourself very well in this situation.

    If the therapist didn't want to lose you, she should have managed the group better. I'm sure you can find another group.

  8. #27
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    Originally Posted by jimthzz
    One thought though. You wanting to hear the silent ones may not be what the silent ones want--to be silent and to listen.
    This is a great point. Here I am, wishing the silent one would speak up, but that's not me being very considerate/aware of her desires, and it's not my place to project what I want (to hear her) vs. what she may want (to be silent). It's her decision whether to talk or be silent, and I need to let her be/do/say what she wants or does not want to.

    Thank you for pointing this out!

  9. #28
    Platinum Member RainyCoast's Avatar
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    It's true group sessions aren't entirely balanced and it's not unusual for certain members to never, or almost never speak, and they may still benefit from attending.

    However, if you'd actually like to talk and are never given a chance to, save for the encouragement to wrestle your five minutes outta this lady's big mouth, it's not moderated very elegantly or efficiently.

  10. #29
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    I have been in your situation. I was involved in a cancer support group, where a woman monopolized the convo. The worst thing, her partner no longer had cancer, so we heard a lot about her problems at work, and about her emotionally abusive bf that lived in another state. I wanted to slap her! I felt upset for all of us dealing with a loved one dealing with cancer, but most especially a father, who little time to speak about his dying daughter.

    It is NOT your responsibility to get into a confrontation with this woman. The woman that is running the group should take control of the situation, and I would tell her so. Be direct. Isn't there a superior you can speak with?
    Oh my Holly, that is so much worse. Your situation wasn't just an emotional support group, but literally an illness/life support group, and for someone to monopolize with subjects that can and should be left outside the door, or kept to a minimum, is inexcusable.

    To answer your question, there is no superior to speak with, as this woman practices on her own.

    But as I said earlier, since I've been involved in other groups, I see how they should be run, i.e. the leader guiding the group so that the discussion works for everyone. This is the first time I've been in a therapy situation like this, and yes, it ticked me off to be told that my distaste for this woman's monopolizing is my issue to deal with, rather than the therapist saying that she'll figure out a way to work on it.

    The trigger that I felt was telling me I was being triggered, if that makes sense. Like, my own therapist isn't supporting me.

  11. #30
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    Originally Posted by RainyCoast
    It's true group sessions aren't entirely balanced and it's not unusual for certain members to never, or almost never speak, and they may still benefit from attending.

    However, if you'd actually like to talk and are never given a chance to, save for the encouragement to wrestle your five minutes outta this lady's big mouth, it's not moderated very elegantly or efficiently.
    Absolutely! In my past groups, there might be one session that's taken up almost entirely by one person who is facing a crisis. To me, that's not only ok, that's what it's about: the group coming together to help this person through their crisis.

    In this recent meeting, one person needed honestly, the entire time, vis a vis a crisis, but she too only got a few minutes, what with C Cathy interrupting her, and therapist, who was sitting next to C Cathy, turning to her, and telling her she'd like to be more connected to her. For an hour.

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