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Thread: Group Therapy - Opinions welcome

  1. #11
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    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    I think Katrina has a point about speaking up when there's a pause. Perhaps it's also about relating to someone else and then turning the subject on yourself to bring the spotlight on you where you get to speak too. There are subtle and diplomatic ways to get your word in. You don't always have to wait for someone to say 'the end'.

    A second thing I was thinking: Perhaps there's only so much that can be done in one hour among six women. You might have to all share that hour now and then and some of you might not be able to share as much. This forces some of you to listen more and in listening you also practice how to communicate with each other in a shared space and how to share that space individually.
    LOL, with this woman, there's never a pause.

    My group last year, had 8 women, and it was awesome to hear from everyone. Some weeks, people talked more than others, but the therapist did a great job of guiding everyone along.

    I guess I'm being biased because I just did a weekend intensive group that I traveled for, which was 11 hours total of a particular group, led by a therapist I had read about. She did such an amazing job of guiding everyone to speak, and to listen, and to move on, and continue. So I got spoiled by that. When I first signed up, I was like.....why in the world did I sign up for an entire weekend of this???? But the time flew by, and if I lived in her same city, I'd see her.

  2. #12
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    I went to group therapy twice. I found the information useful. I didn’t find group very useful for my purposes.

  3. #13
    Gold Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by LHGirl
    LOL, with this woman, there's never a pause.

    My group last year, had 8 women, and it was awesome to hear from everyone. Some weeks, people talked more than others, but the therapist did a great job of guiding everyone along.

    I guess I'm being biased because I just did a weekend intensive group that I traveled for, which was 11 hours total of a particular group, led by a therapist I had read about. She did such an amazing job of guiding everyone to speak, and to listen, and to move on, and continue. So I got spoiled by that. When I first signed up, I was like.....why in the world did I sign up for an entire weekend of this???? But the time flew by, and if I lived in her same city, I'd see her.
    No pause?? How does she breathe! Maybe she's not human after all...... or not a real paying client? That would be wild and wrong but of course being wild is not always wrong.

    I think everyone should be able to speak freely and in that safe space. I would be just as annoyed with the situation as you. Perhaps this isn't the right group for you. It's okay to walk away.

  4. #14
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    I think I didn’t find it useful because everyone was at so many stages of healing that it made it difficult dynamics.

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  6. #15
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    I have no direct experience and no I wouldn’t like it and the only reason it would ever be your role is if the purpose of the group therapy was to learn how to communicate with others in a group setting in different situations. I mean sure that’s kind of a narrow reason for group therapy but that’s my point- I agree that the therapist should facilitate involvement by all and if not “equal” then at least fair - this isn’t fair. I’ve been in women’s networking and support groups and our “moderator “ was very thoughtful and diplomatic about making sure people got a chance to speak and didn’t interrupt. I recently participated in a working woman’s focus group with a sociologist and the truth is myself and another woman probably spoke the most but the sociologist again took on the role of making sure everyone got a chance to share and reminded us not to have separate convos or talk over each other. Of course it was her role !
    Yes - find another group. You deserve better.

  7. #16
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    Originally Posted by SarahLancaster
    I'm triggered by the word 'triggered.'

    LH, the therapist shouldn't be putting you in a position to confront, complain, advise, rebuff, or challenge another member of the group. First of all, it wouldn't solve the problem. The offending Chatty Cathy (by the way, I had a Chatty Cathy doll) would take offense at YOU and then cast a negative pall over the entire group.

    No, the therapist should ensure that every member of the group has an equal opportunity to share his/her thoughts. Perhaps the therapist is too afraid to confront the offender for fear of losing her business. But she has consequently lost yours.
    Sarah, you may have hit the nail on the head. While the therapist probably didn't use the word "confront", she definitely used the word "triggered", several times. And I think using that word, "triggered" me.

    As I said earlier, it's when someone hurts your feelings, but then says, "You're too sensitive".

    And no, it's not just the Chatty Cathy thing; that, I can handle, and no, I've never been one to shy away from finding a pause and speaking up. It's that the therapist herself, turns her body towards this woman, and continues asking her questions, getting answers, getting more and more.

    It's gone on for 4 sessions, so it's not just a one-time thing. This past week, one woman didn't say one word at all. One other woman said 2-3 sentences, as did I.

    One woman has an abusive/stalking exBF that I'm honestly concerned about for her. She was able to get part of her story out, before Chatty Cathy broke in. I kept saying, "Can I hear more about that?", and Chatty Cathy kept breaking in to talk about her ex-husband from 20 years ago. I finally said, very quickly just to get the words out, "Look, I'm physically scared for you. Can you please contact the police, an attorney, sleep at a friend's house, speak to your parents???" and Chatty Cathy said, again, "this is what's going on in my life", and therapist went back to Chatty Cathy and did zero to work with the woman with the abusive ex.

  8. #17
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    Going back to my earlier post, time for a new group and therapist!!!!

    When the therapist asks you why, or in this case tries to lure you back, speak up and tell her exactly what you told us here.

    How you feel she singles this Chatty Cathy person out, to the exclusion of others (sometimes with more serious issues) and its not right but best of luck.

    I would!!

  9. #18
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    Originally Posted by LHGirl
    Sarah, you may have hit the nail on the head. While the therapist probably didn't use the word "confront", she definitely used the word "triggered", several times. And I think using that word, "triggered" me.

    As I said earlier, it's when someone hurts your feelings, but then says, "You're too sensitive".

    And no, it's not just the Chatty Cathy thing; that, I can handle, and no, I've never been one to shy away from finding a pause and speaking up. It's that the therapist herself, turns her body towards this woman, and continues asking her questions, getting answers, getting more and more.

    It's gone on for 4 sessions, so it's not just a one-time thing. This past week, one woman didn't say one word at all. One other woman said 2-3 sentences, as did I.

    One woman has an abusive/stalking exBF that I'm honestly concerned about for her. She was able to get part of her story out, before Chatty Cathy broke in. I kept saying, "Can I hear more about that?", and Chatty Cathy kept breaking in to talk about her ex-husband from 20 years ago. I finally said, very quickly just to get the words out, "Look, I'm physically scared for you. Can you please contact the police, an attorney, sleep at a friend's house, speak to your parents???" and Chatty Cathy said, again, "this is what's going on in my life", and therapist went back to Chatty Cathy and did zero to work with the woman with the abusive ex.
    Totally unacceptable and unprofessional. Move on to someone else.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    Not a therapist myself, but for years one of my biggest clients has been an Ivy League school of social work, and managing group therapy is pretty rudimentary practice taught. I've never heard it encouraged for one member to confront another. While they're not supposed to hold everyone's hand and guide them each through the session, they are meant to set and, if necessary, police the proper tone and environment for the group to be self-sustaining should that be their goal. You can't just let a group run a muck with one member stealing the show only to chalk it up to a lesson for others to be assertive. Without being there myself, I won't personally attest to the therapist's quality, but by your account, I'd have no shame finding another.

  11. #20
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    A therapist of a "group" should have ground rules for conversation and facilitate the conversation within those rules. It should be spelled out to all in the group. Could be that for awhile there is a timer like for a chess match that rings when someone dominates the conversation.

    One thought though. You wanting to hear the silent ones may not be what the silent ones want--to be silent and to listen.

    In any case, you do not have to be in that group and can find one more suited to your interests.

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