I know I was right

I've posted on here before about the same relationship. We were going round in circles for years. She wouldn't get divorced, jealous of my kids, family and friends. The final straw was not going to my mothers funeral-that come about because she trounced off because my son in law was at my house when she arrived.

I know I wasnt perfect and I'm not blaming her entirely.

But I've had enough called it a day 6 months ago but I'm struggling a bit.

Thanks.

Whats your question?

What exactly are you struggling with?

Sorry I don't really have a question. I was just after assurances that things would get better. That I would stop dreaming about her and things like that. Yes she wasnt very nice to me but I am still hurting.

Aww, hi Knight, sorry to hear you're still struggling ((hugs)).

Breaks up suck!!

Took me a good two years if I'm honest. But our relationship was six years.

I know for me, some days were better than others -- some days I'd be angry, next day happy, next day meh, next day I would miss him, next day hated him, my emotions ran the gamut!

All normal, even healthy!

Just know you WILL get through it! And become stronger for it!

Give it a few more months.

Someone better for you out there Knight, hang in!

Continue posting here if you need to vent!!

Thanks for your words. 12 years we were together for and we knew each other for about 8 years before that.

Dumper's guilt? Sorry you're going through this. You have to know what's right for you. If you're looking backwards all the time, how will you know all the good things coming towards you until they've passed you by? Keep your eyes forward.

I dunno if I feel guilty. It's right what you say about me looking back. As katrina1980 said some days are good and some days are bad. The problem I have is I'm thinking about the good times. As rossemosse says I should keep looking forward. Thank you.

Knight, are you making any effort to socialize and put yourself out there?

No. I only have a night out every other month. I'm still going to the gym etc. I also enjoy taking my daughters dogs out.

No wonder you're wallowing in this despair.

Why not try a dating site or join a group? Do you have any hobbies?

I thought about a dating site but I work away from home. People just assume I'm living a double life. My hobbies are...gym, cycling and dog walking. I always have plenty to do to keep me busy.

Please dont try to date until youve reached a better place emotionally. You'll just repeat the same patterns.

Thanks for your words. 12 years we were together for and we knew each other for about 8 years before that.

How were you together for 12 years when she was married? Was this a 12 year affair?

How were you together for 12 years when she was married? Was this a 12 year affair?

Wait........

Went thru your past posts and what exactly do you feel guilty about? You two have had a toxic and turbulent relationship for years now. Back in 2017 you posted that she still hadn't gotten a divorce from her estranged husband. Yet you believed her and you continued to date her even after she bad mouthed your kids to her sister.

So the issue is not with her. You knew exactly what you were getting into 10 years ago. She was married and probably told you for years that she was getting divorced and probably gave you excuse after excuse but you believed her. So don't blame a snake for biting you when you knew she was a snake. Right now its not about getting out there when there are some issues you have to resolve first. I mean why on Earth would you stay with a married woman who lied to you? Why would you accept this type of behavior? Was she gorgeous? The sex that good? Was she rich? Did you think she was out of your league? Are you afraid of being single or the feeling of abandonment? There has to be a motivation behind it and I think you probably need counseling to figure out what exactly it was.

But first thing is first. This girl has to be purged from your life. Doesn't matter if she gets a divorce or not, you two are just not compatible. She cant stand you. Please, look for a counselor to speak to. Get to the root of the problem and not the surface.

Yes I think you're right I probably do need counselling to figure out why I feel the way I do. Thank you all for your comments.