Closure

I broke up with my now ex on a “hunch”, something didn’t feel right. I’m not gonna go into every little “sketchy” thing that happened, but she would disappear hours on end, etc. After the breakup I went to stalk her on Instagram (I didn’t have Instagram during our relationship) and I found that she had posted a picture of her ex when we had first started seeing each other. I had asked her if she was seeing anyone on our first date and she said no. This was a very short relationship (5months) but I still have feelings for her. I want to confront her about it but I don’t know if that will help me get closure (knowing that I did the right thing) or if it’s not worth it.

So, so not worth it.

You broke up with her because something wasn't feeling right—that right there is your closure. If you feel you made the wrong choice—like if you want to get back together—then you could reach out, make a plea.

But to reach out to rake her over the coals about an IG post from half a year ago? No, that's just pouring kerosene on the fire. You don't get closure by opening wounds—or, in this case, in potentially inventing a wound.

I'm with bluecastle on this one. I wouldn't reach out to her even if you do feel regret or want more information. Own your decision and move forward. You deserve to be with someone that you trust.

I broke up with my now ex on a “hunch”, something didn’t feel right. I’m not gonna go into every little “sketchy” thing that happened, but she would disappear hours on end, etc. After the breakup I went to stalk her on Instagram (I didn’t have Instagram during our relationship) and I found that she had posted a picture of her ex when we had first started seeing each other. I had asked her if she was seeing anyone on our first date and she said no. This was a very short relationship (5months) but I still have feelings for her. I want to confront her about it but I don’t know if that will help me get closure (knowing that I did the right thing) or if it’s not worth it.

Don't bother contacting her. You didn't trust her so yes, you did the right thing by ending it.

I agree, dont bother contacting her, it's so not worth it. Closure comes from within you. You got your closure when you dumped her. Time to let this go and move on.

So what do you think she will say that will give you closure?

"Yes I was dating you and my ex at the same time?" or maybe "I have been secretly seeing my ex the whole time we have been together"

You sound like you need someone to tell you that you were right to break up with her but you are the only one that needs KNOW it was the right thing to do.

You trusted your gut and I would bet good money you had plenty of reasons to feel the way you did.

For what it is worth list all the sketchy things and we will chime in on what we think but in the end it only matters what you think and feel.

Lost

I think it's normal to be busy for hours on end in general (our partners are not always at our disposal). I understand you don't want to divulge more details here and that's fine. If she gave you an off vibe, I'd just stick to my guns if I were you and not go looking for trouble. You should be at peace with your decisions and listen to your gut instincts. Don't look back. What's done is done. I completely understand that you didn't get enough information towards the end. This is common. When relationships are lukewarm or when things get uncomfortable or lukewarm towards the end of a relationship, there is a distancing between the parties. Try to learn to recognize that this means you're both separate individuals and going your separate ways. Respect that distancing and end of the relationship. Respect each other's space from now onwards as the relationship is over and there are no further obligations for you.

Imagine the conversation for a moment:

OM: "I broke up with you because I think you were seeing someone else. Then I stalked your IG and saw a picture of your ex from 6 months ago. I was right, wasn't I?"

EX: "You are totally wrong."

Call terminated.

The time to ask questions (not necessarily in a confrontational way) is during the relationship.

You ended the relationship, so the time is gone. You won't get closure because

(a) She has no reason to engage in this, and will likely brush you off with some excuse;

(b) You will end up defending your decision;

© You are looking for confirmation/validation, which you are highly unlikely to get.

"The past is written; the ink is dry".