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Thread: Big Problem but confused

  1. #61
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    So he successfully bullied you into cancelling therapy.

    It's clear he isn't interested in any self improvement.

    You do realize he enjoys yelling at you and bullying you, right? Yes, he likes it! He likes to see you cower, to see you cry and beg and plead and make promises to change. I bet you even tell him you love him while he rants and yells...right?

    THAT is why he won't go to therapy. He doesn't want to stop.
    He also knows what an azzhole he is, and does not want to be called out on his abusive behavior. He likes what he is doing. It makes him feel good to tear you down. Great guy!

  2. #62
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    You should have gone on your own, Mel. It will help you to realize that you deserve more then a foot rub and being treated like a "princess" in between bouts of verbal, emotional and mental abuse.
    Your partner has some major issues that he refuses to acknowledge and would rather turn it around on you instead of delving into why he is like he is. If you stay with him, you will basically be enabling him to treat you like crap in between bouts of niceness. Don't believe him when he tells you that no one else will have the patience to be with you. He's got dreadful self worth which makes him scared that you will leave so he tries to belittle you into staying. Don't believe him.

  3. #63
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Abusers never change. They have no incentive to. You and all the love and therapy and whatever in the world won't fix or change them. They're just evil. It's that simple.

    It's you and your dog that need to run away from this and be honest with your friends and family about what a monster he is. All abusers use variations on the "Cycle of violence" to keep you hooked. Google it..
    Originally Posted by Mel20192019
    watching my dog shake and run away from him when he yells just hurts enough.

  4. #64
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Mel20192019
    It's like he's only 2 out of 10 abusive so it's hard to just leave...
    It's like saying he's kinda pregnant. Either you are or you aren't.

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  6. #65
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    You needed to move out there and then and go back home. Why tolerate some jerk screaming at your family?
    Originally Posted by Mel20192019
    So mom and sister live 8 hours away. They are only coming for The weekend to see us and he wants me to tell her to not come. he starts yelling at them and tells them that he has the right to it, it's his house and they should listen to.his wants and needs.

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