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Is it possible that my ex boyfriend will come back?


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My ex boyfriend and I dated for about 8 months. The relationship was overall a really good one but we did have a few arguments and he was not the greatest communicator. Around 2 weeks ago we got into an argument and a few days after that he broke up with me. He said that we were too different and that it was better to cut ties. He could not really give me a real reason and I had told him that I wanted to work through it. He ultimately said he wanted to cut ties. After that happened, I did not beg him to take me back and pretty much did not reach out at all. His birthday was last weekend so I did send a pretty simply happy birthday Instagram message. I did not have expectations going into that I just wanted to be polite because I still care about him. He replied in a very nice way which I was not expecting. I did not reply to that message. He has now been watching everything that I do on social media pretty instantly but has not reached out and I have not either. Is it possible that he will try to reconnect later on? I do still miss him a lot and hope that he will want to reinitiate the relationship at some point.

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he broke up with me. He said that we were too different and that it was better to cut ties. He could not really give me a real reason and I had told him that I wanted to work through it.

 

He ultimately said he wanted to cut ties.

 

 

I am sorry you are hurting, it will take some time for you to accept it and go through the emotions of loss, anger, etc.

 

Stop trying to find "signs" that he still loves you. A person who wants you in their life DOES NOT break up with you. Find the support you need with friends and family and I hope you pain does't last for too long.

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What do you mean he wasn't the greatest communicator? Do you have more examples of the failed communication?

 

Communication is one of the biggest and most important skills in a relationship. The reason why I ask for examples is I cannot gauge the worth of this relationship in the first place without understanding where your shortfalls were between the both of you. Generally it is not a good idea to get back with an ex. If both of you haven't learned how to communicate and have no commitment to learning how to communicate better nor feel any motivation to, this is a lost cause. Don't repeat your same mistakes twice.

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He did not like to confront issues. I feel like this is what led to ur downfall. I do not doubt that he felt the same way about me but he kept something bottled inside and did not say anything about it until right before the breakup. I would not just get back with him if he did try to come back. I would have to see that it could work, that we would be able to change that problem with effort and time. It is just hard to let go because it was mostly good.

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By issues I mean the minor fights that we had. He did not like to talk about it much after the fact. For example, one time we were hanging out at his place but he was on his phone a lot that night. I got upset because of that and decided to leave. I recognize that that was wrong on my end. He was very upset that I left but it wasn't easy for him to tell me that. I had to walk us through that conversation because he wouldn't have. During the relationship we probably had three arguments and each time he did not want to address it all the way. We never fought over anything that was a deal breaker.

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Seems bizarre that a significant other would be on the phone for most of the night when you're over. Was it an emergency or someone needing help? Without more information to go on it's difficult to figure out the dynamic between the both of you (whether you are poor communicator also or prone to lashing out for example or getting angry). On the outset it seems like he's actively avoiding you.. actually avoiding your person. Someone who immediately wants to cut ties also speaks to some kind of avoidance behaviour or personality. It may be legitimate as in he really can't deal with you for reasons we don't know about or he has issues with himself.

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I'm sorry, let me clarify. That incident happened a few months ago when we were still together. He was in the process of making a a big/important purchase and was on the phone for those reasons. I definitely overreacted and I know that. He just confuses me because he said that he wanted to cut ties but then he replied to my birthday message in a very caring way and is now always looking to see what Im doing on social media knowing that I can see that he is looking.

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What issues?

 

Good question.

 

You said he did not like to confront issues, what issues were you attempting to confront him with?

 

I don't know the dynamics of your relationship, so this is not an accusation, but I don't get why women (some not all) are not able to relax, enjoy their bf's, appreciate them for what they can and do give, rather than what they don't and just let them "be."

 

If you're unhappy or can't accept him as is, including his need to be on the phone on a night you're there, then leave, walk away.

 

But I read so many posts from women who insist on confronting issues up the kazoo, attempting to change them and all that does is "issue" them right out the door.

 

No he's not coming back.

 

He is curious that's all, I still look up my ex's on social media, it means nothing.

 

Sometimes when I am reading about my ex, I think "man, am I glad I'm outta that!" Or I wonder what the heck I was thinking by dating him.

 

Not saying this is what your ex is thinking, or saying this to be mean, but best to accept it's over otherwise you will remain stuck, longing for and hoping he miraculously returns.

 

Not likely to happen, I'm sorry.

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I'm sorry, let me clarify. That incident happened a few months ago when we were still together. He was in the process of making a a big/important purchase and was on the phone for those reasons. I definitely overreacted and I know that. He just confuses me because he said that he wanted to cut ties but then he replied to my birthday message in a very caring way and is now always looking to see what Im doing on social media knowing that I can see that he is looking.

 

But that's because you baited him.. you knew he wanted to cut ties but you disrespected that and messaged him anyway (regardless if it was his bday). I'm not saying this is completely your fault(not pointing fingers here or intending to make you feel bad). What I am saying is that you tested him and baited him and after he's replied, you're hoping that there's romantic interest in his reply. It doesn't work that way. Even if he does have leftover romantic feelings for you, he made his decision to end things. I wouldn't trust someone again who would do that to me. I think you're grasping at straws, so to speak. Hope you feel better soon.

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Yeah, I get your point of view. I just did not want him to think that I hated him and like I mentioned before, I do care and wanted to send the message. I was just expecting a simple thank you or a no reply honestly. Outside of that I do not plan to contact him and have not done so on any other occasion. I am trying my best to keep busy and to move on but naturally I'm going to have my weak days like today.

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Yeah, I get your point of view. I just did not want him to think that I hated him and like I mentioned before, I do care and wanted to send the message. I was just expecting a simple thank you or a no reply honestly. Outside of that I do not plan to contact him and have not done so on any other occasion. I am trying my best to keep busy and to move on but naturally I'm going to have my weak days like today.

 

It's part of the grief process. It will likely take some time for the hope to fade. I would encourage you not to reach out again, though. As you can see, whether he responds or not, contacting him increases your distress.

 

No one can answer your initial question. He may still have feelings for you or doubt his decision. However, it takes more than love and longing to build a sustainable relationship. It could be that he has feelings but recognizes he made the correct decision anyway. I would let things be and do your best to move on.

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