Ended relationship but regret it. How do I ask for forgiveness?

Hello, first time I've used a forum to ask for advice so please be gentle

About a month ago I broke up with my (then) girlfriend. It was going really well, we both have a lot of the same interests and hobbies. Why did I end it then, you might ask?

I have anxiety which I'd never really told her. I am scared of not being good enough for someone, and worried if I was doing enough for her. So I started to think maybe a relationship wasn't the best thing for me at that time, and instead of hurting her by keeping her as my girlfriend, I though that I was doing the best thing for her too.

However, wow I regret it. We were only together for 7 months, but it was going really well. It's probably the stupidest decision I've ever made and I want to try and tell her how much of an idiot I am for doing it.

Basically, what is the best way of getting back in touch with her? We haven't spoken since, and for all I know she may be dating someone else. I don't really want to turn up to her house uninvited. Should I drop her a message, even though I'm not sure she would reply as I know she was devastated when I ended it.

Is there a better way to get back in touch, maybe by waiting for her after work or writing to her?

Sorry for the long message, any help would be appreciated

I think it depends on other factors too - most of all where you both are in your lives. You should be looking into working on your anxiety or working with someone who knows about anxiety (a professional who can help you or guide you). You don't sound ready for a relationship and I think you could relapse into unhealthy thoughts or anxious thoughts again. Until you make some progress there or feel more confident about yourself, this is bound to repeat itself. You can write to her if you think it's the right thing to do but I wouldn't do it unless I was absolutely certain about where I am in life.

I agree with Rose Mosse.

Not to be too meta, but what you're describing right now—the desire to get back with her—sounds a whole lot like anxiety. You were anxious with her, now you're anxious without her, so I'd look at this as a really choice moment to get that anxiety under control so you're confident it's not going to get in the way of a future relationship.

But should you feel like contact is best right now, do it in writing, in an email or a letter. Showing up out of the blue, when people aren't expecting it—well, nothing good comes from that.

It would be best to get your own stuff sorted out before you hurt others with your issues. Leave her alone.

No creepy letters, no stalking, no showing up at her workplace, etc. Never show up anywhere uninvited. Instead show up asap at the therapist's office.

I have anxiety which I'd never really told her. I am scared of not being good enough for someone, and worried if I was doing enough for her.

 

I know she was devastated when I ended it.

Is there a better way to get back in touch, maybe by waiting for her after work or writing to her?

I find the statement of 'please be gentle' a huge irony here.

You were not gentle with your ex. You made a conscious choice to get into a relationship, knowing you have anxiety issues and instead of handling them, you allowed them to take control and hurt another person, now you want to selfishly get her back on the roller coaster instead of doing what you should have always done and handle your anxiety before dating so others arent subjected to it.

Leave her alone. Learn the lesson here, if you dont take care of you, it ruins other aspects of your life, so take care of you.