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Thread: How To Gain Independence From Cheating Boyfriend

  1. #21
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    A ton of good advice here, I hope you are paying attention. I say find a new place to move to, even if it's a room in a house, til you can get on your feet. Then move, get away from this jerk. You know you need to stop drinking so get yourself to AA, there is nothing to be scared of by going there.

    You dont have to tell the jerk you are leaving, just pack and go when he's not home. Change your phone #, block him any which way you need to.

  2. #22
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    Thank you so much for your advice -- am definitely paying attention, shocked and grateful to have received such thoughtful, tough advice from so many smart people in a number of hours. I will make these difficult changes and am excited to give back to this community.

  3. #23
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    How To Gain Independence From Cheating Boyfriend
    You don't 'gain' independence, as though it's something that comes to you. You take it.

  4. #24
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Unfortunately the only solution is to move out. Does he support you financially? What is the draw here? The first step is going to your college advisers and looking into financial aid, student housing, scholarships and part time work.

    Also look into whatever therapy or counselling is available to you. At the same time start looking for house-share and roommate situations as well as any part time work you can get.

    This guy treats you like a mindless tart. Is that what you want? Playing live-in maid while he's out fooling around?
    Originally Posted by pinkyankovic
    I feel like I've been going crazy for years, and feel like I really messed up by moving back in with him
    I think I'm just asking how to begin to gain my own independence.

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  6. #25
    Bronze Member EternalOptimis's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by pinkyankovic
    I know it seems obvious about what to do, but I think I'm just asking how to begin to gain my own independence, so that the next time I leave it will stick. I've become attached to the pain of sexual rejection, the relentless cheating, and his and my denial that there is anything wrong.
    Alas, knowing what to do does not make it easier. But do not allow the pain to keep you from getting out of this toxic arrangement. You will only realise after a few months, when the poison has started leaving your body, just how destructive this has become for you.

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