Healing

So, I finally left my ex. It’s been ok for the most part considering I was relieved when we finally split. My only concern is looking at his life a little enviously. Immediately he was with someone else after we split. And I sometimes ask how is he able to live “happily ever after?” He’s the one that hurt me and cheated etc. most days I’m minding my business and living my life but then I slip back and go to his social media to see what he’s up to, eventually hurting myself in the process. I don’t want him, I just want to completely release the hold the situation has on my life, but it’s even harder considering we have a kid. Currently I’m building my business and just trying to focus on personal growth. What can I do to improve and erase the feelings of envy and loneliness?

For one, either block your access to his social media or take a break from social media altogether. You're addicted to the pain associated with looking into his new life and until you stop checking up on him, you won't start to feel better.

Two, you need to work on realizing that positive things in life are not delved out based on if you are a good person or not. I understand feeling like he does not deserve to be happy because of the pain he caused you, but it's important to accept that life does not work that way. You're finished with him. It doesn't actually matter what he does now that the two of you are no longer together. Stop using your ex as a beating stick to whack your self-esteem with and focus on supporting yourself. Until you can rely on yourself 100% and stop thinking that you need someone else to feel good about you, you will hold onto the bitterness you feel towards your ex.

Rebound relationships can often be disastrous as the person is just not ready to be with someone else but they dont realize it or dont care. So what you see him saying or doing may not be how it is. It looks awesome like he's moved on and he's happy but karma has a way of biting people in the butt.

Stop looking at his social media, you are only hurting yourself. Block, delete and work on moving on.

Try and be the best mother you can be to your child. Work on your business too. That he cheated on you... well, he made his choices. Now it's time for you to make yours.

For one, either block your access to his social media or take a break from social media altogether. You're addicted to the pain associated with looking into his new life and until you stop checking up on him, you won't start to feel better.

 

Two, you need to work on realizing that positive things in life are not delved out based on if you are a good person or not. I understand feeling like he does not deserve to be happy because of the pain he caused you, but it's important to accept that life does not work that way. You're finished with him. It doesn't actually matter what he does now that the two of you are no longer together. Stop using your ex as a beating stick to whack your self-esteem with and focus on supporting yourself. Until you can rely on yourself 100% and stop thinking that you need someone else to feel good about you, you will hold onto the bitterness you feel towards your ex.

I agree, thank you so much.

I think social media has some wonderful purposes; staying in touch with people who live far away, receiving and sharing encouraging posts but then there is this other side you mentioned. I get it. I’ve been affected by it too. What I’ve come to realize is social media is mostly a place to post your happiest moments and sometimes after seeing enough of those it can give a false impression of the “perfect life”. I had to unfollow, not block, a couple of people and I had to discipline myself not to look at what was going on in their lives all the time because it hurt. I felt so left out in my particular situation. It’s definitely a discipline and it’s not easy!! I’m really sorry about your breakup. Those are never easy! but I commend you!! for building a business and for concentrating on healing. Then you’ll be ready for the love you deserve.

I think social media has some wonderful purposes; staying in touch with people who live far away, receiving and sharing encouraging posts but then there is this other side you mentioned. I get it. I’ve been affected by it too. What I’ve come to realize is social media is mostly a place to post your happiest moments and sometimes after seeing enough of those it can give a false impression of the “perfect life”. I had to unfollow, not block, a couple of people and I had to discipline myself not to look at what was going on in their lives all the time because it hurt. I felt so left out in my particular situation. It’s definitely a discipline and it’s not easy!! I’m really sorry about your breakup. Those are never easy! but I commend you!! for building a business and for concentrating on healing. Then you’ll be ready for the love you deserve.

 

 

 

My goodness! Thank you so much for your encouragement! Please pray for me, and my daughter, my strength and perseverance. ❤️