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Thread: Girls that don't like to kiss

  1. #1
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    Girls that don't like to kiss

    I'm a white male, early 40s.

    About 4 years ago I briefly dated this girl that was quite a bit younger than me and Hispanic. She pursued me and made the first move to kiss, but I thought it was kind of unusual... no tongue, but a lot of lower-lip sucking. I went with it, but I thought maybe it was an Hispanic thing.

    Awhile after she and I split, I started talking to another girl... still younger than me but a few years older than the first, and also Hispanic. She was VERY shy, and told me several times by message that she was really in to me, but she thought that kissing was gross. And she really didn't like sex, either. That relationship never really went beyond just chatting and hanging out a few times, mainly because I didn't know how to advance the relationship beyond friends.

    Recently, I've been pursued by another girl. She's also quite a bit younger than me, and she's white. She also says that she's very shy, but she's been pretty flirty and will get a little sexy by message. But a few days ago, she, too, said that she doesn't really like to kiss!

    I'm truly at a loss here... three girls in a row that don't like to kiss?

    It's not a race or culture thing, since this third girl is white. Is it a generational thing? Do younger women just not like to kiss? Or is it me... they like my personality but aren't really physically attracted to me, so it's the idea of kissing me that's a turn off?

    And in these situations where kissing is more or less off limits (at the very least a turn off for her), how do you make a sexual advance?

  2. #2
    Bronze Member Afireblue's Avatar
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    How much younger are these ladies?

    I am hispanic and a lot into kissing lol

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    The first, I was 39 and she was 19. She had 3 children, though, which made her much more mature than you would expect.

    The second, I was 40 and she was 26. She had 2 children.

    The third is 21, no children.

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    Gold Member smackie9's Avatar
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    Looking for a free dinner.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member RainyCoast's Avatar
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    So, you're 40, dating 20 year olds?

    I don't think it's the norm for women to dislike kissing or intercourse,

    You've either had a streak of bad luck, are a bad kisser so they avoid that, or, despite obviously there having been something about a man twenty years their senior that appealed to them, there's also something about your interest in them that concerns them or makes them uneasy about being intimate with you.

    Have you had this happen with, say, 4O year old women?
    Why are you choosing girls who haven't had the maturity to avoid getting pregnant three times before they turned 19? I'd say they are sensing something is off despite not having the wisdom to not get involved in the first place.
    Last edited by RainyCoast; 04-23-2019 at 05:01 PM.

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    Platinum Member Clio's Avatar
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    It doesn't sound like any of them was shy. Shy women don't pursue men. It does sound like they were looking for a sugar daddy but were not physically attracted to you. Women half your age = too young = a liability.

    P.S. There is nothing mature about having 3 children by the age of 19.
    Last edited by Clio; 04-23-2019 at 05:17 PM.

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    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Kissing to me involves more emotional involvement than a regular roll in the hay. They may think you have a great personality but as others are picking up, you're dating too young, and there is very little emotional attachment to you. How could they possibly comprehend you with the total dearth of experience? This is not meant as malicious or ill-intended ageism by the way(just an acknowledgment of differences). I only look back at what I was when I was younger and when I did date older men. I had absolutely no idea what I was doing, what they meant(their actions or words, unable to read between the lines) and totally didn't understand references to music, pop culture or other things you just 'get' with people your own age. I'm curious - do older women intimidate you or ?

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    Platinum Member SGH's Avatar
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    Ah, I'll be honest here. I'm not a big kisser. Am I good at kissing? I think so. If the other person is too, I can get some enjoyment out of it, but I pretty much would prefer any other sexual or romantic activity.

    Now, if these ladies don't want any physical relationship with you at all, that's a big red flag.

  10. #9
    Bronze Member Afireblue's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by csdude55
    The first, I was 39 and she was 19. She had 3 children, though, which made her much more mature than you would expect.

    The second, I was 40 and she was 26. She had 2 children.

    The third is 21, no children.
    I asked because it sounds a bit off.

    Maybe try dating women closer to your age, I don't know, maybe 5 years difference, you may find to have more things in common with them.

    Either you are being used for free meals or you are giving these people a weird vibe being so much older than them

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    Originally Posted by RainyCoast
    You've either had a streak of bad luck, are a bad kisser so they avoid that, or, despite obviously there having been something about a man twenty years their senior that appealed to them, there's also something about your interest in them that concerns them or makes them uneasy about being intimate with you.
    Well, in the case of the first girl, she kissed me first after I gave her a ride home, but immediately was close-mouthed. She was the first girl I've ever known that sucked on my lower lip (which I didn't love), but she was also very turned on. So I don't think it was that I was a bad kisser or that she was afraid to be intimate?

    The second girl, we never actually kissed, so that one wouldn't be that I'm a bad kisser, either. But she could have been hoping to use me.

    The third girl (the recent one), we've never kissed, either. We chat online a bit and she's talked about being very submissive and always preferred older men, but during a heated chat one evening she mentioned that she doesn't really like kissing. I didn't push, so I honestly don't know if she doesn't like kissing in general, or if maybe she just doesn't like the fantasy of kissing me. But she has no problem fantasizing about MUCH more intimate things.


    Originally Posted by RainyCoast
    Have you had this happen with, say, 4O year old women?
    Why are you choosing girls who haven't had the maturity to avoid getting pregnant three times before they turned 19? I'd say they are sensing something is off despite not having the wisdom to not get involved in the first place.
    I really don't date very often at all. I'm in a small, rural area, so there are very slim pickings of single women! And no offense to anyone, but I'm a muscular, fit guy, and the few women I've met that are single and anywhere close to my age are... well, not fit.

    I haven't pursued anyone myself in at least 4 years, all of my dating has been with girls that have pursued me.

    I guess I should also mention, that first girl with 3 kids? She's Pentecostal, and they generally don't believe in birth control (if God wants them to get pregnant, they will). And locally, at least, it seems like most Hispanic girls start having kids at a young age, so this wasn't exactly unusual. I'm pretty sure that her mom had her when she was 15 or 16, too. So it wasn't that she lacked the maturity to avoid getting pregnant, it was more like a conscious choice based on cultural, religious, and familial precedents.


    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    I'm curious - do older women intimidate you or ?
    Nope, not at all! If I were looking for a serious relationship then I would be perfectly happy dating a woman closer to my age. But finding a local, single woman that's my age and to whom I'm physically attracted? Well, it's been a long few years...

    Originally Posted by SGH
    Ah, I'll be honest here. I'm not a big kisser. Am I good at kissing? I think so. If the other person is too, I can get some enjoyment out of it, but I pretty much would prefer any other sexual or romantic activity.

    Now, if these ladies don't want any physical relationship with you at all, that's a big red flag.
    The second girl that I mentioned didn't want any type of physical relationship, saying that sex often made her physically ill. Which, after some research, isn't all that uncommon; it's similar to sea sickness, and Dramamine often helps! But we never got a chance to try it out. I did wonder, though, if she was just saying that because I was a meal ticket that she wasn't really attracted to.

    The other two, though, seem/seemed very sexually interested. The first girl couldn't keep her hands off of me!

    This recent one, though... I just don't know. We've only been talking for a short period and she gets shy pretty easily, but she seems very interested in sexual exploration with me. I wouldn't say that we're talking about having a relationship, though... I get the feeling that it's more of an exploration of a few fantasies.

    But since you (SGH) seem to be similar to her in this aspect, how does a man get from step 1 (talking) to step 3 (you naked) without taking step 2 (kissing)? That's kind of always been my go to: move in slowly for the kiss, then take it to a more passionate kiss, then body touching, then neck kissing, then clothes go flying.

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