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Thread: Weird love feelings I could use some advice on

  1. #1

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    Apr 2019
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    Weird love feelings I could use some advice on

    Hi!

    So, this is one weird story and believe me, I've considered getting health checks on this so I know I'm a weirdo :P As I really want to keep in mind my own and the privacy of the man I'm going to talk about, I didn't get into details on everything but put in the most important info for me to get advice on (which is much appreciated btw, thank you so much for reading this long story).

    I recently (2,5 months ago) met someone who's a professional musician (and well known in a particular part of the music business we're both in) and I had lots of fun talking with him about music and other things. I really felt like we had a lot in common (I'm also working on becoming a professional musician, same instrument, we both get inspiration from the same things, have the same humour, etc). On the day we met I had no idea what exactly happened, but I'm not getting him out of my head. I've been crazy in love ever since and I spoke with him afterwards private through a forum we're friends on, but it was just a brief talk about telling eachother it was great to meet and things ended with that.

    So here's the deal: he's quite famous, much older (which is not a problem for me), have no idea if he'd be interested in me and I don't know much about his personal life (I think he might be in a relationship, I know he doesn't have children). He told me a few things about his personal life, but I have no idea what he's like exactly and I would love to find that out. I've been having so many thoughts, about what he would think if I'd write him this or that, what his reaction might be. The usual 'overthinking' I do when it comes to these kind of things in life. I just don't want him to think a crazy 'fan' is asking for attention. I'm working together with one of his musical collaborations on my own musical project and I want to keep things professional. On the day we met I told him he's been a great influence, I gave him some recordings and other stuff from the band I'm currently in as a thank you for making time to talk to me. Of course didn't know I'd get these feelings so I didn't have the chance to tell him about how I feel when we met (which I would have tried if I knew I'd feel like this, I'm a very upfront person, but that could've been a disaster haha).

    So, I've been trying to get over this, but here I am sitting and typing out this crazy story after watching loads of video's of him and feeling bad for not having him in my life. What would you do if you were me? Try and get over it (which I did try, that's why I didn't message him yet 2 months after we met, but no luck getting over it and I tried EVERYTHING)? Send him a message telling him how you feel (not knowing how he'd react, not knowing if he's in a relationship, hoping I would still be able to work together with people in the same music industry which is obviously very important to me)? Or send a message asking if he'd be interested in a friendship? Or?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Keep it professional and don't be a groupie. Date other guys and consider this guy more of a mentor.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    I'm wondering about those recordings you shared. They aren't exclusively yours and seem to belong to your whole band, not just you. Do you think it was wise to give those recordings away? I know nothing about the music industry or how things work in terms of marketing yourselves or getting your name out. Just curious. I'd have erred on the side of caution and consulted with the band before volunteering those recordings for free or unsolicited.

    On the personal side of things, I wouldn't pursue this person. You work too closely together for things to screw up right now and I think it would be devastating for your career and your band. Again, I'm not sure why you haven't considered the best interests of your band and if you have, what are your thoughts?

  4. #4
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    t would you do if you were me?
    I'd get myself into therapy to help me get over my obsession of someone I had a brief conversation with and now can't stop OCD thinking on. I'd stop wasting my time and life gazing at Youtube videos of my obsession and I'd get out there and meet men who are actually showing me real life interest.

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