To reach out, or to not reach out.........

I went out a couple times with this girl. Things seemed like they were going well.. we hung out.. had fun, and hooked up... she would reach out every 2 or 3 days in between dates and I would use that to set the next date. It’s been about 4 days and I haven’t heard from her. Should I reach out to her and set the next date, or just assume she’s not interested and move on with my life? We’ve hung out 5 times.

Call her. It may seem to her like you're not interested if it's always her who's first to reach out after a date, and like you wouldn't even think of seeing her again if she didn't call.

How many weeks have you been dating her?

3 weeks.... we hung out 5 times in 3 weeks....

Is 'hanging out' the same thing as dating?

“hanging out” as in going on dates..

Yes, young people call "dates" hanging out, lol! It's the same thing, no worries.

Kiss her the next time you go out. No excuses this time.

Why is she the one to always reach out? I would get tired of that, really quickly. I don't get it!

It's nice that you've set the dates, but I think she would appreciate some initiation if you are actually interested. I just made a thread on a similar topic. A lot of women highly prefer that the man make the majority of the first moves early on. She is waiting to see if you will make the effort if she does not. Just call her.

I see that you are in your late 20's. I thought you were in your teens.

You split up with your gf of three years earlier this month, for not putting in any effort. I see that you did not learn from that experience.

Don't you think it is a little early to be dating, as you just broke up from a LTR? You clearly need to process the break and make positive changes when it comes to dating.

I went out a couple times with this girl. Things seemed like they were going well.. we hung out.. had fun, and hooked up... she would reach out every 2 or 3 days in between dates and I would use that to set the next date. It’s been about 4 days and I haven’t heard from her. Should I reach out to her and set the next date, or just assume she’s not interested and move on with my life? We’ve hung out 5 times.

Why on earth do you just sit around waiting for these women to call you? Pick up the phone and make a date. You are lazy at your pursuit and that's a huge turnoff to most women.

Your lazy pursuit is a red flag!

What do u recommend?

Yes, young people call "dates" hanging out, lol! It's the same thing, no worries.

 

Kiss her the next time you go out. No excuses this time.

He said they've been "hooking up". I believe young people call sex "hooking up". So I think it's safe to presume they've progressed beyond kissing.

Why aren't you contacting her FIRST, either phone or text? You sit around waiting on her to reach out to you, at which point you seek out a date. The fact you're not reaching out to her suggests non-interest on your part. She has spent too much time fishing for a date. She's probably done, working on the notion of "He's just not that into you," take the hint, move on. If you like her and you're interested in her, call her or text her...bridge the gap, take some initiative, and demonstrate your desire for her.

What do u recommend?

Are you serious? You pick up the phone and ask her out.

Dude, I don;t think you are ready to date anyone, as you do not even know the basics. You learned nothing from your previous relationship.

Of course OP should reach out but in his defense, many young men today have come to expect the woman to reach out first, only because there are sooooo many women these days who are just so happy to do just that!!

They text ad nauseum in some cases all day long; this girl apparently had no problem initiating texts, that was their dynamic, a dynamic she set up by doing all the initiating.

Until she decided she did have a problem with it and suddenly stopped.

If that's even what's going on, she may have simply lost interest or met someone else she likes better.

Ladies, stop doing all the initiating! You're conditioning men to expect it, they will get lazy, and it's also confusing.

If you prefer a man to initiate in early stages, then don't confuse things by initiating first, again it's confusing, they don't know what the hell to do in many cases.

Op, shoot her a text. Ask how she's doing, suggest a date.

Say nothing about her changing course and pulling back on initiating texts.

Her response to your initiating and making a date will tell you everything you need to know.

I went out a couple times with this girl. Things seemed like they were going well.. we hung out.. had fun, and hooked up... she would reach out every 2 or 3 days in between dates and I would use that to set the next date. It’s been about 4 days and I haven’t heard from her. Should I reach out to her and set the next date, or just assume she’s not interested and move on with my life? We’ve hung out 5 times.

Typically if a woman isn't all that interested you won't make it past the first date.

I'd give her a call. Be a little more assertive or else she will lose interest due to your passivity.

Clarification:

"Ladies, stop doing all the initiating!"

I meant "ladies" generically, not any of you beautiful ladies!

If you actually cared about this woman, you wouldn't be here asking this question. You'd just call her. Another poster mentioned you are very recently single, which explains a lot. Your question was really, "How do I keep my rebound girl doing 100% of the work, so I don't have to feel unpleasant emotions?" The short answer is: you don't if she decides to assert herself and have reasonable expectations for you and your situation.

ok.. ill contact her tomorrow :)