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Thread: Why is there this hype about dating?

  1. #1
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    Why is there this hype about dating?

    Why and who invented dating and why though? You may be thinking why I have mentioned this is because of the following:
    I can't strike a conversation (meaningful or funny) at all. It proves that I can never and never will be in a position like people who have been successful in dating. With the timescales in the 1 relationship (July 1997 - June 1998) and the 2 flings (January 2003 for 1 week and September 2008 for 6 weeks) it clearly shows that I am clearly and seriously no good at all to women. I can understand the frustrations that most women have when it comes to dating and have seen how they come across on the likes of POF, Tinder and others but it doesn't help me with the problem I have, it just makes me want to avoid them and I know that all women are not nasty. It's right what you said it has got something to do with the way that society has been and is going on but it's those innocent ones who suffer. I would never go on a date because the conversation on my side would be dead and that definitely will ruin it and it wouldn't be fair. When my family's dog was around, I used to get looks from women as having a dog is usually an icebreaker but I couldn't find a way to look back, even when they stroked him I would find it hard to say something, so really I just don't know why I am really here for if I can't do the simplest thing (to talk to women with ease). I am surprised that those who I have had nights out with are still talking to me after the times when I have walked away and gone home due to not being able to talk to women. This is down to the relationship that I had 20 years ago, the girl who I was with was nasty, she was a , she wanted her own way all the time, something had to give back then. This has ruined me, I have tried to rectify it and move on but I can't. I am literally no good in doing this. With this being the way it has been, I would never go on a date because I have got nothing good to say. Also, it wouldn't be fair on the woman. But why is it so hard and silly? So single life will be continuing for me because I can't do it, sounds sad but that's the gravity of the situation.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member maew's Avatar
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    have tried to rectify it and move on but I can't.
    You can... you just caught up in the insanity of doing the same thing over and over again expecting something different... it must be discouraging to keep trying and never get the results you want!

    If it's gone on for this long it goes way beyond just conversations with women... there may be some deeply rooted fears or traumatic memories that have likely taken hold that will make you feel trapped in this cycle.

    I am assuming you have sought the help of a therapist / psychologist on this... wondering what they have told you to do?

    The only way you will get through this is by asking for help and then taking the action, one small step at a time, of overcoming the fear that stops you from moving forward. It won't be easy but it's entirely possible if you really want it.

  3. #3
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    get some counseling, or try a part-time sales job where you will learn to be sociable with people.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    Thank you for the announcement?

    Did you actually want the title answered?

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    lol. You wouldn't be here if this concept wasn't "invented". Get to a therapist to address your negativity, defensiveness, anxiety and other issues. You're stuck in a pity party and that's counterproductive.
    Originally Posted by BoroGuy40
    Why and who invented dating and why though?

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Dating usually shows us our own weaknesses and shortcomings. I learned a few things dating and half of it wasn't pleasant. It's not meant to be pleasant. 99% of the time the hit or miss is a miss and I think it causes a person to question what they're really about because rejection is fairly high and confusion is very easy. I wouldn't consider it a pleasant or fun exercise but I think society has marketed it as something that can be pleasant and fun. Those apps or dating websites you mentioned all have marketing teams. Just be true to yourself and stay grounded.

  8. #7
    Gold Member LikeWater's Avatar
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    Dating is just the tried and true method of getting to know someone a bit before you jump into a relationship with them. What else are you supposed to do if you don't already know the person? But if dating isn't for you, try geting to know a woman through different means. I can't speak for anyone else but my best and most successful relationships started off platonic and then evolved. There's also so many avenues through online apps that you could explore that you really don't have much of an excuse.

    Be honest with yourself, and if the issue really just comes down to your cowardice, confront that truthfully and work to resolve it. Therapy is a great solution any time you're stuck!

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    I already have a job (Production Technician). I would never do a job such as sales, it's not for me at all and never will be
    Last edited by BoroGuy40; 04-23-2019 at 01:38 PM. Reason: Forgot to mention Gary Snyder in my reply

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    Thank you for your reply. I just wanted to have my say on dating. I have given dating up 6 months ago after trying to convince myself that I can do it but can't

  11. #10
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    Rose Mosse - thank you for your reply. I just wanted to have my say on dating. I have given up on dating 6 months ago after trying to convince myself that I can do it but can't.

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