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Thread: What to do next?

  1. #1

    What to do next?

    At the beginning of the year, i texted a girl that was my colleague a few years ago and with whom I had not talked since then. I always had a huge crush on her, but back then she was too young (that was about 5 years ago and she was 15 and I was 20). So, after a few days of texting, i asked her out and we had coffee. We also exchanged some books, but nothing physical happened between us. Shortly after, i went to Europe and stayed there for a whole month, during which we texted each other a couple times. After I came back, we went out again. This time we went to the park. The thing is, nothing happened again. She talks a lot, so I couldn't get that awkward pause that usually precedes a kiss. That was about a month ago and I haven't talked to her since then. My question is: should I keep trying? Or should I just assume she doesn't want anything with me and simply move on? And if I were to give it another try, what should I do to escalate things?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    Sounds like the two dates took place in the daytime. Make this one the evening, and make it a date where she'll know it's a romantic relationship you want instead of being buddies. If she accepts that sort of date, it's a good sign.

    I don't know where you live, but if you can eat at a place by the beach or a bay or a lake, a walk by a peaceful, scenic area like this is a prime place to see if she shares your interest. I wouldn't go for a kiss unless you start with holding her hand to see if she's amenable to that first. Because if I thought I was a buddy with someone, and if he tried to hold my hand, I'd explain that I didn't feel chemistry to clear things up. If I let a guy hold my hand, it's a signal I'm interested in him romantically.

    Good luck.

  3. #3
    Many thanks for the answer!

    The first time I asked her out, i suggested going to a pub, but she rejected the idea by saying "i'm having lunch with a friend, so we could see each other in the afternoon". It's worth noting that while I live in the city, she lives in the metropolitan area and it's complicated for her to come to the city at night. Besides that, she probably didn't want to come twice in one day.

    Anyway, the thing is, I don't think I'm going to be able to take her on a date at night, so unfortunately it's gonna have to be in the daytime again. I believe before asking her out on another date, i should be more openly flirtatious through text, so i could get a sense of her reaction to the fact that i'm romantically interested in her, which I suspect she may not have realized yet. I don't really know how to do that or what to say, so I would really appreciate some tips!

    Thanks a lot!

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    Do you mean to say that you don't have a car and get around by public transportation only? If that's the case, that might get old for her to always have to come to you. No, I wouldn't send any flirtatious texts at this point. Texts can lack tone and be misconstrued. If you have another date, even though it's daytime, I'd give her a compliment you truly believe, i.e., how beautiful she looks and that you love her outfit, or that her eyes are the prettiest blue you've ever seen. Whatever fits and what you genuinely think. Those are words that will signal your interest in her and you can see how she responds to this.

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  6. #5
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Raskolnikov
    This time we went to the park. The thing is, nothing happened again. She talks a lot, so I couldn't get that awkward pause that usually precedes a kiss.
    - Ha! This has happened to me while dating. The woman was talking and talking and talking (good!)........I finally said in a playful manner, "Be quiet for a second so I can kiss you!" It worked - she said, "Okay", and then I kissed her!

    That's how it's done. Sometimes you just have to take the lead.

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    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    Multiple accounts are not allowed.

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