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Thread: He broke it off with me but i'm still so confused.

  1. #1
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    He broke it off with me but i'm still so confused.

    3 months ago I met a guy online and we agreed to be FWB (he wanted a relationship) but if we got good vibes we would see where things would go. I'm 27 and he's 31. A couple weeks into it we had the exclusive talk. He said we were exclusive. Everything was fine, he was asking me to hang out, we were doing coupley things, he met my friends, he would always agree to hang out when I asked him. He would also pack his bags with the assumption he was staying for the night. Since we were doing all these things I thought I would check in and ask if we were dating or not. He said he thought that's what we were doing all along and I was happy with that. Anyway, last week my friend made a tinder and matched with him - she didn't realize it was him because she only seen him once for a brief minute. She told me about it and I brought it up to him where he went ape - told me I was rushing things and that it scares him away. Told me he wasn't on tinder, etc. Our convo got heated and he called it quits. I asked if he wanted to talk and he said he needed space. I gave him space and after 5 days he deleted me off social media and messaged to tell me that I scared him away by bringing up things he left behind in his past, and rushing a relationship. I explained I wasn't rushing the relationship and that I'm just insecure and wanted to check in with him about my feelings. He told me that it wasn't natural to have feelings for someone after 12 weeks and that things are supposed to happen naturally. It hurt me because I really did have feelings, strong feelings. I told him he was giving me all the right vibes and that I didn't know what to do because I had only been in two relationships before - 7 years ago. I'm a lot less experienced than him. Anyway our convo ended by him saying he would add me back on social media but usually he deletes people when he's moving on from him. And that he's there if I need to talk. Anyway he added me back. I accepted.

    I guess I'm just a little confused. He point blank told me he didn't want to be with me because I rushed things and scared him but yet it feels like I'm being strung along. I really want to give us another shot but from what I can tell he doesn't want me anymore.
    Last edited by bamb; 04-22-2019 at 01:40 PM.

  2. #2
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    3 months and exclusive is not too fast. It only takes 7 weeks of dating for a man to fall in love with a lady - if he ever will.

    He's a player, sorry.

  3. #3
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    He did agree to exclusivity, right? Your post is confusing. If so, good riddance. He got caught in his lies, and threw it back on you!

    Block and delete this creep. he is a mindfu$k!

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    Yeah, we had the exclusive talk. We were only seeing each other and sleeping with each other. Which I do believe was the case. We spent so much time together I don't think he would have had time to be with anyone else.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    I'm not sure what he is but I do think he has issues. What else do you know about his past experiences in relationships? I don't believe he's ready to date at all. This doesn't speak to me as a player. He's not playing very well.

  7. #6
    Silver Member Betterwithout's Avatar
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    Well, now I am confused. You said you have a FWB and he wanted a relationship. Does that mean you didn't want a relationship.
    FWB only works if both people are genuinely looking for sexual closeness but wanting distance emotionally. Rare for extended periods of time.

    THings will usually get weird when feelings get involved.

    You should be content that things moved on. He either got tired of waiting, or didn't really want a real relationship to begin with.

  8. #7
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    Originally Posted by bamb
    Yeah, we had the exclusive talk. We were only seeing each other and sleeping with each other. Which I do believe was the case. We spent so much time together I don't think he would have had time to be with anyone else.
    Block and delete. No future with this one! He is a liar and got caught.

    So sorry!

  9. #8
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    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    I'm not sure what he is but I do think he has issues. What else do you know about his past experiences in relationships? I don't believe he's ready to date at all. This doesn't speak to me as a player. He's not playing very well.
    He was married young, it was a short marriage. She cheated on him. Obviously gave him issues which I understand. Another girl told him she loved him after a year, he didn't say it back, the next day she was on tinder saying she was single.

  10. #9
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    Are you looking for a FWB, or a relationship?

  11. #10
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    Originally Posted by Betterwithout
    Well, now I am confused. You said you have a FWB and he wanted a relationship. Does that mean you didn't want a relationship.
    FWB only works if both people are genuinely looking for sexual closeness but wanting distance emotionally. Rare for extended periods of time.

    THings will usually get weird when feelings get involved.

    You should be content that things moved on. He either got tired of waiting, or didn't really want a real relationship to begin with.
    I wanted to be FWB, he wanted a relationship but agreed to FWB. After some time I told him I was okay with a relationship. We were going with the flow. Eventually we started spending more and more time together so we had the dating convo. I was fine with dating, I just wanted to know why he was still on tinder if we had the exclusive and dating convo. He got defensive, insecure, and just jumped ship because it was "moving too fast" and he felt like I was "pushing a relationship".

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